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Dear Diary,

CalliesBrokenHeart

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GELESEN 306
Stimmen 2
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CalliesBrokenHeart

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bipolar borderline bpd depression eatingdisorder emotional struggle

A journey through the mind of a woman with Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder and an Eating Disorder.


I have struggled with being overweight and according to doctors "morbid obese" since I could remember. I was diagnosed with Bipolar, PTSD at the age of 25. From a young age I developed a liking for food, and since it has always been my stablizer for emotions. My go to when I'm in need of love or when I'm bored.
Updated 8/11/19: At the age of 36, I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder) It was noticeable, and a possible DX by the same doctors when I was 25, but they couldn't determine completely, as the DBT classes they wanted me to take then, I had no interest in whatsoever.
On a side note, I never did proceed with the Bariatric surgery. At this time, I have decided against it, and am currently trying still, on my own.Alle Rechte vorbehalten

bipolar borderline bpd depression eatingdisorder emotional struggle

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I've Got It Under Control von myrealnameisasecret

Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~

Vent Book von FlyingGiraffe0

nahwh i wanted to write some silly book about my struggles but ended up doing way worse shii sorry gang anyway cant talk to no one so talking to yaal :3 skibidi sigma Life is NOT skibidi sigma So it originally was meant to be for ed struggles but now its just my whole life basically all my problems. Sorry if it might be confusing TW: If you are in recovery, I strongly advise you not to read this book. It calls normal BMI "fat", mentions calories and weight and could be harmful towards your recovery. If you notice you relate to this book a lot, it's never late to ask for help. Please don't hesitate, there are many centres that can help you. Read this book with caution if you have an eating disorder. This book is mostly based off of my expiriences so it might be a bit corny or cringy but please try your best to be respectful towards the story cause most of it happened to me. But regardless, I wrote it so other people with eating disorders might find it relatable, so enjoy!

BARROW ME A SHELTER von Kymorgan

-Look at me! Look at my body and don't you dare to lie and say that is normal. People look at me like I was a disease, a contagious disease who gets attached to you, like a virus, travels through your body burns your hope, range shots your dreams, massacre your faith and your mental health. A virus that makes people gossip, whisper about everything. Your clothes size, your stretched skin, the amount of fat that you carry every where you go. You don't know what Is is like to live as I do. This virus eats me alive , makes me crave and urge for food , while I have my face buried in the toilet , throwing up , eating back, exercise and control. You can't love me, you can't love something like me, ans i know. It's a nightmare that crawls up my mind in pure day light. _____________________________________ He needed to met the next sunset in hopes he would starve to death or find the end of the road to a Clift, where his body could be found at the end of the tale that was written to be his life, however his tale couldn't end there, where his fears would be transported to the next life and hunt him for eternity.forced to find a placed after escaping death, at this new journey he found the healing his body, mind, soul needed, so did she.

Heal Me von XxHafsabegumxX

“After my 16th birthday I have been repeatedly told that my Mum and Dad were very wicked people. They would beat me and even lock me in a room without food, for days. But that’s the thing, I have always been “told” things. I don’t remember any of it because the doctors had put amnesia gas on so that I would forget everything. As far As I know. My name is Amelia Lockwood and I am 17 years old. I live with my two “Parents” and I have no siblings. I go to Paddington high school and I have 4 friends but I have one best friend who has been with me from day one. If you expect this story to be a happy one. Sorry but you are very wrong. My story isn’t a happy, in fact it is a very sad. Every part will end with tears in your eyes. So if you cannot cope with it put down this book while you still can.” &amp;nbsp; Everything has been going great for Amelia ever since she has forgot everything in her past. But soon all the memories are flooding back. Night mare, after nightmare. They keep on coming and she doesn't know who you go to. Her best friend Zoe knows about her foster parents and how she doesn't remember her real ones. Everything is stressful for her. Until she meets the new kid. He’s hot, He bad and most of all he knows exactly what Amelia is going through. However they both find out something which is truly life changing. Through in fights, brake up, Friendship tests and horrifying nightmares, everything just keeps on falling. What will happen to Amelia? Is this truly a sad story or will there be a happy ending?

Alpha's Baby | astera22 von astera22

My mum always used to tell me what it's like to see your mate for the first time. She used to say that at that moment, everything around you stopped, that nothing else mattered. And nothing else would matter. If it wasn't for the little girl clinging to my leg right now. That little girl that trusts me with her life, that beautiful little girl that made me hold on and not give up on life. That little girl, whose father is standing in front of me right now. He's my mate. The edges of his lips curve and he looks up and down as if checking me out. "Long time no see." Are the words that first come out of his mouth that break the silence. ~~~~~~~~~~ Lexie is an Alpha's daughter. She faces a hard few days and thinks a night at the club will help her get through this. A few drinks won't hurt, right? At least that's what she thinks. Yet that night will change everything sooner than she would ever imagine. When the next day, her pack gets attacked, everything is chaos. Her mother and father are killed and her world shatters. She's forced to run away and leave everyone that she still has left behind. She thinks she has no one... that's until she finds out about another heartbeat in her body. Raising a baby on your own is hard enough. After a few years she finally meets her mate though and it turns out she knows him after all. How will she confess that her mate is actually her daughter's father? What will happen now? We don't live in a fairy tale where every story has a happy ending though. Real world isn't that easy...if you can call a world full of mystical creatures very real.

This is my truth von KristinaFigolah

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ von ZaynismRules

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7) von nikkihershell

I didn't ask to be born into this world, none of us did but we make the best of it. I'm a twenty-five year old single man. Why you may ask? Because I've seen what love can do to a person. It can destroy them. My parent's are amazing but I can still remember the time's my father threatened to kill my mother, left us due to his mental illness. Besides who needs one main women when I can have a different one under me every night, money to blow and fast cars. I'm just enjoying my time until I take my Papes place at the throne. Most nights are spent living it up with my cousins who are my only friends. However there is the one girl that has caught my eye and I don't know why. I first spotted her at a random coffee house I stepped into. Usually I'm very talkative especially when I'm trying to snag a chic but I couldn't utter a word to her. I barely managed to place my order. Now, I find myself going out of my way to stop by that coffee shop everyday. It doesn't matter that it's out of my way. The only thing that matters is that I see her. I knew I could take her if I really wanted to but I can't make myself to do it. She sees me enter and shoots me that amazing smile and prepares my order without even asking what I want, she knows. She'll offer a greeting but all I can do is nod my head. She makes me lose my word's. Deep in my mind I wonder if she could be the one that could change my mind on love and that scares me. For now I'm satisfied at seeing her for the few minutes it takes to get my coffee. Besides I'm a killer, a future mob king and she's this delicate flower that wouldn't understand my world. It's best to cut my loses and move on. If only I knew her name..

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed) von El3phant

When you're stuck inside a layer of skin you never asked for, what does the soul do? It cries out in poems and pictures, and words that have so much meaning to anyone if they look hard enough. It winces in pain every time the pen hits the paper and shouts in agony every time the mirror is reflected upon a burning face. This is a collection of me. My eating disorder, my depression, anxiety, my thoughts, my words, my pain. If you've ever wondered what it was like inside the mind of an anorexic, a bulimic, a chronically depressed woman, here is the answer. A memoir written by me. There is no specific order you should read this book. Choose a random chapter from the table of contents, and read. Take a little in, leave a little out. ****** There is a major trigger warning for almost every story in here. If you are sensitive to numbers, or ideas or anything of this matter, this book may not be for you.

real psychward exclusive von campchloe1

First few chapters are about this girl then the rest is just my life and me venting. If anyone read this please dont comment shit like "are u ok" or "talk to someone" i really dont need that and i present these problems alot stronger then they are in actuality and its just how i feel in the moment.

Vielleicht gefällt dir auch

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I've Got It Under Control cover

Vent Book cover

BARROW ME A SHELTER cover

Alpha's Baby | astera22 cover

This is my truth cover

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ cover

Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7) cover

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed) cover

real psychward exclusive cover

I've Got It Under Control

Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~