Dear Diary,
- Reads 361
- Votes 2
- Parts 48
A journey through the mind of a woman with Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder and an Eating Disorder.
I have struggled with being overweight and according to doctors "morbid obese" since I could remember. I was diagnosed with Bipolar, PTSD at the age of 25. From a young age I developed a liking for food, and since it has always been my stablizer for emotions. My go to when I'm in need of love or when I'm bored.
Updated 8/11/19: At the age of 36, I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder) It was noticeable, and a possible DX by the same doctors when I was 25, but they couldn't determine completely, as the DBT classes they wanted me to take then, I had no interest in whatsoever.
On a side note, I never did proceed with the Bariatric surgery. At this time, I have decided against it, and am currently trying still, on my own.
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Given A Chance
I'm dying. There's a cure for this sickness. But unlike most, I don't want it. I don't need to live my life. It was not mine in the first place. I'll go down in history. Not for beating my sickness, but for letting it beat me. There are many things I regret not doing. Like not telling my crush I actually liked him. Since elementary school! Now I'm 17 and my life could be gone any second now. Or not living my life. I spent every day studying, reading, to focused on school. I have little time left. I won't spend it in a hospital bed. That's for sure.Complete
Tragedy ✔️
𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! Tragedy can happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere, and the saddest part about that truth is that tragedy is unavoidable. No one can prevent a natural disaster from happening. No one can prevent death from knocking on their doorstep - if it's an accident, or a sickness - it cannot be prevented, and it cannot be avoided. You never know on which day tragedy will come knocking on your front door. You never know who it would strike next - if it would be you, or someone else, or someone who is very close to you. The thing is, with tragedy, it doesn't ask questions before it strikes. It just does. River and Sophia were two people who experienced the same tragedy: loss, but their stories were very different from each other, but they shared the same pain of losing someone they loved, someone who was close to them. And now, suffering the aftermath of their tragedies - living with the guilt, the regret, and the grief of losing someone that was close to them, they have to try to overcome everything, before their tragedy ruins their lives forever. But will it bring them together or would it just be another terrible tragedy? [ word count 130K - 145K ] [ comments does contain spoilers ]Complete
BARROW ME A SHELTER
-Look at me! Look at my body and don't you dare to lie and say that is normal. People look at me like I was a disease, a contagious disease who gets attached to you, like a virus, travels through your body burns your hope, range shots your dreams, massacre your faith and your mental health. A virus that makes people gossip, whisper about everything. Your clothes size, your stretched skin, the amount of fat that you carry every where you go. You don't know what Is is like to live as I do. This virus eats me alive , makes me crave and urge for food , while I have my face buried in the toilet , throwing up , eating back, exercise and control. You can't love me, you can't love something like me, ans i know. It's a nightmare that crawls up my mind in pure day light. _____________________________________ He needed to met the next sunset in hopes he would starve to death or find the end of the road to a Clift, where his body could be found at the end of the tale that was written to be his life, however his tale couldn't end there, where his fears would be transported to the next life and hunt him for eternity.forced to find a placed after escaping death, at this new journey he found the healing his body, mind, soul needed, so did she.Complete
Abigail
(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.Complete
Help Line
In which a girl calls a help line and meets a boy on the other end who's willing to do anything to save her before she hits rock bottom. ༻❁༺ "Sorry. I shouldn't be calling you at such a late hour. I just..." "Needed someone to listen? Go ahead, love. Speak what's on your mind. I'll be here to listen to you." ༻❁༺ HR: #1 in hotline #1 in free mental illnessComplete
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardComplete
I've Got It Under Control
Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~Complete![California Eyes [Taylor x OC]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/387878320-256-k332341.jpg)
California Eyes [Taylor x OC]
~ got a girl with california eyes and I thought that she could really be the one this time. But I never got the chance to make her mine because she *is too* in love with little thin white lines ~ They say beauty is pain but is it really? Is less always more? It seems to be that way, at least for Taylor Swift, who strikes to meet every beauty standard there is to meet. In the world of fame she lives in, her drastic weight loss doesn't go by unnoticed, and only hours after the final show of her successful Eras Tour she finds herself in a psych ward, forced to face her relentless struggles with food. Not long after the events of the famous singer being dragged to the psych ward, Maeve - a homeless drug addict roaming the streets of LA - is met with a similar fate as she wakes up in that same psych ward after an unintentional overdose. How will things work out for them? Can they win their internal battles? Will they make each other's lives even more miserable in the process or could they actually find comfort in one another?Complete
I'm dying. There's a cure for this sickness. But unlike most, I don't want it. I don't need to live my life. It was not mine in the first place. I'll go down in history. Not for beating my sickness, but for letting it beat me. There are many things I regret not doing. Like not telling my crush I actually liked him. Since elementary school! Now I'm 17 and my life could be gone any second now. Or not living my life. I spent every day studying, reading, to focused on school. I have little time left. I won't spend it in a hospital bed. That's for sure.
More detailsContent Guidelines