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Dear Diary,

CalliesBrokenHeart

LECTURES 306
Votes 2
Parties 48
Durée 2h 0m

LECTURES 306
Votes 2
Parties 48
Durée 2h 0m

CalliesBrokenHeart

Contenu pour adultes

bipolar borderline bpd depression eatingdisorder emotional struggle

A journey through the mind of a woman with Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder and an Eating Disorder.


I have struggled with being overweight and according to doctors "morbid obese" since I could remember. I was diagnosed with Bipolar, PTSD at the age of 25. From a young age I developed a liking for food, and since it has always been my stablizer for emotions. My go to when I'm in need of love or when I'm bored.
Updated 8/11/19: At the age of 36, I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder) It was noticeable, and a possible DX by the same doctors when I was 25, but they couldn't determine completely, as the DBT classes they wanted me to take then, I had no interest in whatsoever.
On a side note, I never did proceed with the Bariatric surgery. At this time, I have decided against it, and am currently trying still, on my own.Tous Droits Réservés

bipolar borderline bpd depression eatingdisorder emotional struggle

Table des matières

48 chapitres

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Directives de Contenu

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Heavens Haven, écrit par anonykwrites

Emery Rayne. Everyone expects you to have the perfect life when you have rich parents. They assume that you've grown up getting anything and everything you want. Money has never been the problem for my parents. Their problem was me. And once I turned nineteen, I left. I've always wanted to leave because they never loved me growing up. They were too into their own rich life that they completely neglected and abandoned me. I wanted to escape. And now that I finally have, I couldn't be happier. Unexpectedly rooming with two hockey players whose lives revolve around hockey wasn't a problem for me. That was until a blue eyed- tattooed boy showed me how beautiful love can be. I wasn't suppose to fall for the captain of the hockey team. I try not to like him, but I fall even harder. But I carry a heavy past around my shoulders and when those two familiar people threaten me with Havens life, I'm stuck between choosing him, or them. Because my parents make me feel like I can't have Haven West. And if I'm being honest, even I don't know if I can have him. But he calls me his special person. He's my special person, if anything. Haven West. The only thing I've ever cared about was hockey and the people that raised me. I grew up with parents that held a knife to my neck and destroyed my image of happiness. When she moved in, I hated it. When a month passed by, I couldn't help but take her out on a night drive, smiling at how tight she holds me. There's no one like her. She was the one that made me laugh because of how fucking silly she is. She saw me when all I've ever wanted was for my parents to love me. I didn't know that fucked up parents was the one thing we had in common. And I fucked myself up getting attached to her. Because now, I'm addicted to her. I'm a smiling bastard whenever she's around. I'm broken and never believed in love but I can't let her go because she's what I would describe heaven to be like. Loving Emery Rayne is the best fucking feeling.

I've Got It Under Control , écrit par myrealnameisasecret

Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~

Me Before YOU - BSD ✔, écrit par w_kai1

[ COMPLETED ] "𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩, 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙢" Reminder: ⚠️ Various BSD x Male Reader/Executive Male Reader insert Angst + Romance 3/3 acts completed Started: 24/03/2022 Ended: 12/10/2022 Being his superior is truely making you tired He attempted to break free, but the fall was once again a never-ending loop. For the male, the pain was bearable, but for you, it was excruciating. But it wasn't your predicament that occurred; it was his. Dazai's circumstances has not yet devolved into hopelessness. He doubted about the height and the vulnerability of his physique before to the crash. He'd be still on the ground, surrounded by horrified citizens. Coughs of blood erupted when the horrors were committed. Even though you were there with your eyes open, all you could see was black. Your vision was unaffected. You were relieved that he was okay since his body sprang to its feet as if nothing had happened, but were you? Those dreadful memories flood your mind at random intervals, causing you to lose concentrate on the tasks you were given. You've become too soft, and you've taken on too much responsibility for yourself. Falling down when leaning against a wall. You tied your breathing while holding your head to your knees. You were known as the Port Mafia's key, the Port Mafia's answer, and the Port Mafia's power source. You, on the other hand, wanted the solution for yourself. Why can't you answer your own questions if you've answered queries from others honestly? You were curious as to why and how you had become so mentally weakened. #bsdangst 01/08/2023 #510 bsd 31/03/2022 #322 bsd 06/04/2022 #300 bsd 07/04/2022 #20 atsushinakajima 08/04/2022 #18 atsushinakajima 11/04/2022 #11 bsdxreader 07/05/2022 #36 armeddetectiveagency 08/08/2022 #51 bsd 11/08/2022

Someone New, écrit par wambuimuiruriii

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

Happy Endings, écrit par Magnolia_Abernathy

"Don't you see now why we can't be together?" I whispered at the crazy boy in front of me. "Aren't you repulsed by me? Disgusted? Dis interested? Can't you just tear my heart out and leave like any other normal teenage boy?" My voice cracked. He simply shook his head. "Sweetheart, I thought I made it clear from the first time I said it," He paused, "I. Like. You." He emphasized every word, and I gaped at him. "Hell of a lot, actually, so it'd be great if you stopped being salty and liked me back." "Don't you get it?" I whispered unbelievingly, "After all that, and you still don't get why I can't be with you?" He seemed relaxed, calm. Too calm for this situation. "My life doesn't involve a guy like you, Nathan. Never did. You're not my knight in shinning armor, and you aren't going to save me. This is reality, the real world. And the real world doesn't have happy endings." ---- To me, there's are six different types of crying. One; The Breakdown. Two; The Longing. Three; The Hysterical. Four; The Broken. Five; The Happy. Six; The Inevitable." ---- This short story is very depressing, I'm warning you now. It may trigger memories, or depression symptoms.

Alpha's Baby | astera22, écrit par astera22

My mum always used to tell me what it's like to see your mate for the first time. She used to say that at that moment, everything around you stopped, that nothing else mattered. And nothing else would matter. If it wasn't for the little girl clinging to my leg right now. That little girl that trusts me with her life, that beautiful little girl that made me hold on and not give up on life. That little girl, whose father is standing in front of me right now. He's my mate. The edges of his lips curve and he looks up and down as if checking me out. "Long time no see." Are the words that first come out of his mouth that break the silence. ~~~~~~~~~~ Lexie is an Alpha's daughter. She faces a hard few days and thinks a night at the club will help her get through this. A few drinks won't hurt, right? At least that's what she thinks. Yet that night will change everything sooner than she would ever imagine. When the next day, her pack gets attacked, everything is chaos. Her mother and father are killed and her world shatters. She's forced to run away and leave everyone that she still has left behind. She thinks she has no one... that's until she finds out about another heartbeat in her body. Raising a baby on your own is hard enough. After a few years she finally meets her mate though and it turns out she knows him after all. How will she confess that her mate is actually her daughter's father? What will happen now? We don't live in a fairy tale where every story has a happy ending though. Real world isn't that easy...if you can call a world full of mystical creatures very real.

UNLOVED (Gally x Reader Fanfic), écrit par writingb00ks

She still looks the same, sounds the same and loves the same but is she the same, only time can tell. A toxic love story between two ex lovers. The earlier betrayal stabbed her in the heart, quite literally. Once you think it's over, she comes back, like she always does, always for one thing. Him. Once again, she attempts to save the day, but always bottles it, draining herself to protect her loves and not protect her, will this time be different? Will she finally put herself first? Read on to find out. PREQUEL/SEQUEL about my two books HATRED and AGAIN, please go read them before this one, if you don't, you won't understand this book. - One of the random girls spits over the silence, "You're not special y/n." I lean forward, "I'm sorry, who are you?!" - I turn around, immediately seeing her hands trying to touch his chest, I click my mouth, strolling my way towards her. "Touch him one more time and I'm dropping a log on your scruffy bitch face." I spoke with a smile on my face. - "Have you ever had love where everything feels like a puzzle. Where nothing matters to you. Where you can feel free to be at your lowest or highest with them. That's what it feels like between me and Gally, I feel complete." "Love can make you believe a lie." - (Gally x Reader Maze Runner Fanfic) || 3rd and last book of my trilogy || #1 distopian - 15/1/24

healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein, écrit par FrancesShana

FINAL VERSION NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0846QJQ86?ref=knfdg_R_twm_yes No one's life is perfect--and mine is no different. On the outside, you might see me as a young woman that was raised in the most perfect life; both parents, an upper-middle-class home, a safe neighborhood. This is all true, yes, but the worst of my struggles were things that many people didn't see: my mental health. In this book, I share all my struggles with my eating disorder, anxiety, depression, and the things that go along with it. My goal in writing this is letting you know that you, the reader, are never alone. There are people like me that care about you, that understand how hard it can be. Hopefully this book with give you clarity about some things you've been dealing with, and maybe give you some peace of mind and directions on how to navigate through these hard times. Please, keep fighting. We need you. Much love!

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed), écrit par El3phant

When you're stuck inside a layer of skin you never asked for, what does the soul do? It cries out in poems and pictures, and words that have so much meaning to anyone if they look hard enough. It winces in pain every time the pen hits the paper and shouts in agony every time the mirror is reflected upon a burning face. This is a collection of me. My eating disorder, my depression, anxiety, my thoughts, my words, my pain. If you've ever wondered what it was like inside the mind of an anorexic, a bulimic, a chronically depressed woman, here is the answer. A memoir written by me. There is no specific order you should read this book. Choose a random chapter from the table of contents, and read. Take a little in, leave a little out. ****** There is a major trigger warning for almost every story in here. If you are sensitive to numbers, or ideas or anything of this matter, this book may not be for you.

Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story), écrit par xpaaulettex

Ages 14+ (lesbian concepts and some profanity) This is not your everyday love story, okay? It's not a chick flick either. The events and themes within my pages have meaning, depth, truth-and most of all, reality. You are about to be taken on an adventure about a girl who's life is not like everybody else's. I look like a normal teen girl, I mean, I have hair and two eyes and two hands and feet like everybody else, but I couldn't feel more different. I have two moms, yes. Let's just get that out there before you start reading and close my diary like everyone in my life has shut me out of theirs. All I want is a normal life with normal friends who don't judge me because of my home situation. I don't even remember the last time I went on a sleepover or called somebody my age. I don't mean to be a downer, because it does get better. Life gets better. Struggles are only temporary, I know that now. And by my last words reach your eyes, I've come a long way, and have grown to see potential in myself. I'm sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. I know now that I'm not the only one in the world that feels alone. I've been there, done that, and there's more loneliness to come, but for now, I feel more prepared for it. I know how it feels to sit by yourself at lunch every day and how it feels to watch others go to prom with dates and feel like shit because you don't think you'd even have any friends to go with. Please ready my diary. I am much older now, and much more wiser, and I can't wait for you to realize the potential in yourself, too.

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Slide 1 of 10

Heavens Haven cover

I've Got It Under Control cover

Me Before YOU - BSD ✔ cover

Someone New cover

Happy Endings cover

Alpha's Baby | astera22 cover

UNLOVED (Gally x Reader Fanfic) cover

healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein cover

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed) cover

Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story) cover

Heavens Haven

Emery Rayne. Everyone expects you to have the perfect life when you have rich parents. They assume that you've grown up getting anything and everything you want. Money has never been the problem for my parents. Their problem was me. And once I turned nineteen, I left. I've always wanted to leave because they never loved me growing up. They were too into their own rich life that they completely neglected and abandoned me. I wanted to escape. And now that I finally have, I couldn't be happier. Unexpectedly rooming with two hockey players whose lives revolve around hockey wasn't a problem for me. That was until a blue eyed- tattooed boy showed me how beautiful love can be. I wasn't suppose to fall for the captain of the hockey team. I try not to like him, but I fall even harder. But I carry a heavy past around my shoulders and when those two familiar people threaten me with Havens life, I'm stuck between choosing him, or them. Because my parents make me feel like I can't have Haven West. And if I'm being honest, even I don't know if I can have him. But he calls me his special person. He's my special person, if anything. Haven West. The only thing I've ever cared about was hockey and the people that raised me. I grew up with parents that held a knife to my neck and destroyed my image of happiness. When she moved in, I hated it. When a month passed by, I couldn't help but take her out on a night drive, smiling at how tight she holds me. There's no one like her. She was the one that made me laugh because of how fucking silly she is. She saw me when all I've ever wanted was for my parents to love me. I didn't know that fucked up parents was the one thing we had in common. And I fucked myself up getting attached to her. Because now, I'm addicted to her. I'm a smiling bastard whenever she's around. I'm broken and never believed in love but I can't let her go because she's what I would describe heaven to be like. Loving Emery Rayne is the best fucking feeling.