Dear Diary, - MissaKitt - Wattpad

Story cover for Dear Diary, by CalliesBrokenHeart

Dear Diary,

CalliesBrokenHeart

Reads 354
Votes 2
Parts 48
Time 2h 0m

Reads 354
Votes 2
Parts 48
Time 2h 0m

CalliesBrokenHeart

Mature

bipolar borderline bpd depression eatingdisorder emotional struggle

A journey through the mind of a woman with Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder and an Eating Disorder.


I have struggled with being overweight and according to doctors "morbid obese" since I could remember. I was diagnosed with Bipolar, PTSD at the age of 25. From a young age I developed a liking for food, and since it has always been my stablizer for emotions. My go to when I'm in need of love or when I'm bored.
Updated 8/11/19: At the age of 36, I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder) It was noticeable, and a possible DX by the same doctors when I was 25, but they couldn't determine completely, as the DBT classes they wanted me to take then, I had no interest in whatsoever.
On a side note, I never did proceed with the Bariatric surgery. At this time, I have decided against it, and am currently trying still, on my own.All Rights Reserved

bipolar borderline bpd depression eatingdisorder emotional struggle

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48 parts

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Tragedy ✔️ by stellarflowerwrite19

𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! Tragedy can happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere, and the saddest part about that truth is that tragedy is unavoidable. No one can prevent a natural disaster from happening. No one can prevent death from knocking on their doorstep - if it's an accident, or a sickness - it cannot be prevented, and it cannot be avoided. You never know on which day tragedy will come knocking on your front door. You never know who it would strike next - if it would be you, or someone else, or someone who is very close to you. The thing is, with tragedy, it doesn't ask questions before it strikes. It just does. River and Sophia were two people who experienced the same tragedy: loss, but their stories were very different from each other, but they shared the same pain of losing someone they loved, someone who was close to them. And now, suffering the aftermath of their tragedies - living with the guilt, the regret, and the grief of losing someone that was close to them, they have to try to overcome everything, before their tragedy ruins their lives forever. But will it bring them together or would it just be another terrible tragedy? [ word count 130K - 145K ] [ comments does contain spoilers ]

It was under control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

Trapped Souls (Inside The Minds Of The Mentally Ill) by Tokimeki

This story is about dealing with many mental illnesses. The experiences of the mentally ill. How it feels to be in their mind, and feeling how they feel. Depression is not an act. Eating disorders aren't phases. Suicide isn't a coward's escape. Self-Harming is not a cry for attention. WARNING! This may be very triggering! Read with caution!!!! I did use a lot of quotes from online places, but a lot of it did come from my own (mentally ill) mind. I have been mentally ill for pretty much all of my life, and just started to get help, and realized that now I don't want help. This writing is for all of you that suffer from mental illnesses. I am terribly sorry if you get offended in any kind of way, again, read with caution.

real psychward exclusive by campchloe1

First few chapters are about this girl then the rest is just my life and me venting. If anyone read this please dont comment shit like "are u ok" or "talk to someone" i really dont need that and i present these problems alot stronger then they are in actuality and its just how i feel in the moment.

I've Got It Under Control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~

Given A Chance by BelieveEveee

I'm dying. There's a cure for this sickness. But unlike most, I don't want it. I don't need to live my life. It was not mine in the first place. I'll go down in history. Not for beating my sickness, but for letting it beat me. There are many things I regret not doing. Like not telling my crush I actually liked him. Since elementary school! Now I'm 17 and my life could be gone any second now. Or not living my life. I spent every day studying, reading, to focused on school. I have little time left. I won't spend it in a hospital bed. That's for sure.

MEMOIR OF THE SPLINTERED by GumbieN

"Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively. While some persons with BPD are high functioning in certain settings, their private lives may be in turmoil." ~~~ They say the term "borderline" came from a time when doctors used to believe the illness bordered between psychosis and neurosis. Now, they believe the illness should be called Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. The illness doesn't need a clear name for me to understand what it is. Because it's the nightmare I'm living every day. ~~~ [ a short story about BPD written by a human with BPD ]

California Eyes [Taylor x OC] by tani1602_

~ got a girl with california eyes and I thought that she could really be the one this time. But I never got the chance to make her mine because she *is too* in love with little thin white lines ~ They say beauty is pain but is it really? Is less always more? It seems to be that way, at least for Taylor Swift, who strikes to meet every beauty standard there is to meet. In the world of fame she lives in, her drastic weight loss doesn't go by unnoticed, and only hours after the final show of her successful Eras Tour she finds herself in a psych ward, forced to face her relentless struggles with food. Not long after the events of the famous singer being dragged to the psych ward, Maeve - a homeless drug addict roaming the streets of LA - is met with a similar fate as she wakes up in that same psych ward after an unintentional overdose. How will things work out for them? Can they win their internal battles? Will they make each other's lives even more miserable in the process or could they actually find comfort in one another?

Look What You Made Me Do by LizzieRa17

"Don't tell anybody about this." "If you just ignore it, it'll stop." "There's nothing I can do to help you." And so I did everything I was told. I shut up. I put on a brave face. I followed all the rules. But that was the past and it's not who I am anymore. I will be loud. I will be angry. I will tell the truth. Look what you've done. You gave me a story to tell. ----------------- Unfortunately, a true story. DISCLAIMER: This is my side of the story and, with the exception of a few voicemails/text messages/statements from friends, it all comes straight from my memory. As is the case with most PTSD brains, my memory isn't very good so I can't 100% confirm the accuracy of anything, but it is written almost exactly as I remember it. If anyone reading this happens to know something I don't, feel free to let me know. ----------------- Thank you for reading. ----------------- Dedicated to Sketch, and Toto, and Dr. Worm, and Mia, and anyone else (real or imaginary) that I loved, but they hated.

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Slide 1 of 10

Tragedy ✔️ cover

It was under control cover

Not me. (2023) cover

Trapped Souls (Inside The Minds Of The Mentally Ill) cover

real psychward exclusive cover

I've Got It Under Control cover

Given A Chance cover

MEMOIR OF THE SPLINTERED cover

California Eyes [Taylor x OC] cover

Look What You Made Me Do cover

Tragedy ✔️

𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! Tragedy can happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere, and the saddest part about that truth is that tragedy is unavoidable. No one can prevent a natural disaster from happening. No one can prevent death from knocking on their doorstep - if it's an accident, or a sickness - it cannot be prevented, and it cannot be avoided. You never know on which day tragedy will come knocking on your front door. You never know who it would strike next - if it would be you, or someone else, or someone who is very close to you. The thing is, with tragedy, it doesn't ask questions before it strikes. It just does. River and Sophia were two people who experienced the same tragedy: loss, but their stories were very different from each other, but they shared the same pain of losing someone they loved, someone who was close to them. And now, suffering the aftermath of their tragedies - living with the guilt, the regret, and the grief of losing someone that was close to them, they have to try to overcome everything, before their tragedy ruins their lives forever. But will it bring them together or would it just be another terrible tragedy? [ word count 130K - 145K ] [ comments does contain spoilers ]