Everyone thinks I am fine

Everyone thinks I am fine . I am a perfect girl . All is well ....... Well...... its not . I am not fine but no one seems to care . I am stuck in a hole that is spiraling downward . I cant get out and no one will help . I have went through a lot of bullying through the years I have been in school . No one cared . No one helped me even though it was obvious that it was happening .I don't know what to do . I have tried suicide way to many times . I cut it helps me . At first I started to cut to get ttion then it became a routine and then I started to focus on the physical pain it also shows me that I am still alive and that I can feel pain . I need help but I won't ask for it because I am fine . Because everyone thinks I am fine .