GHOST of the PAST!

whenever i'm alone im my room in a silent night,

all that i can hear are the cries and the sobs of my poor silent weakling heart

nobody really understands me, my attitude and my situation nor on how i really felt deep inside my lonely heart that i have been carrying since the last 2 years

no one really bothered

all that they can say and do is to ask whenever they see a glimpse of my loneliness whenever i am alone

and all through out the day, all that they can see is my cute lovely smiling face laughing and enjoying the day playing around like I don't have problems in life

nobody can measure my cheerfulness in our class or on how I respond happily in front of everybody

but behind those lovely cute face hides a lonely silent broken heart left by the one I love most.
the past still hunts me, how could I change that? How could I? Tell me! Will anyone please tell me.

I'm crying without uttering a word. im in pain. how could i not when they left me behind. Am I selfish? Did I do something that made him leave me? What have i done wrong? Do I really deserve this?

He keeps on bugging me. In my dreams he appears and caresses me. I can't forget the last words he told me.

"I love you! Goodbye! Please wait for me... I will come back for you!"
I want to know what you mean... please let me know...

I'm not capable of doing anything, I'm emotionally weak, fragile and easy to break down

I'm crying silently, I want to cry out loud. I want to burst out in tears just to get these thorns stocked in my heart out.

My heart is chained with thorns of pain, suffering and death.
I want to unbind these chains... I want to stop this nonsense..
I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy when I'm not.

I want to change, I want to become independent. I want to become stronger, will you help me? I understand if you don't. But please... please... tour me to the world of mysteries and discover new possibilities.

crazy to say but i want to fall in love

again~