Perfectly Imperfect - RussianAnorexic - Wattpad

Perfectly Imperfect

RussianAnorexic

Reads 430
Votes 11
Parts 7
Time 44m

Reads 430
Votes 11
Parts 7
Time 44m

RussianAnorexic

abuse anorexia bulimia homeless neglect orphan

Perfect. 

It is a word that haunts me. Memories of my past quickly flood my mind when it is spoken. My parents had drilled it into my head that I wasn't. Neglected and abused, I just wanted to be perfect. I did anything and everything to achieve that. I didn't care about the consequences, all that mattered was that I was perfect. 

So many people called me that. Now and then. On the outside, I might look that way but on the inside, I am the exact opposite. On the inside I am an emotional train wreck. Horrible mood swings, uncontrollable urges to drink, throwing up what I eat, are all part of my perfection. 

I am perfectly imperfect. 

*Names, places and certain scenes have been altered to protect the identities of those involved.

WARNING
Contains abuse and neglect of a child, underage drinking, and drug use.All Rights Reserved

abuse anorexia bulimia homeless neglect orphan

Table of contents

7 parts

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This is my truth by KristinaFigolah

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.

The Twisted Mind by marvelousmayam

"I felt as if I didn't belong, And I felt as if i'm not sick enough" Alfie struggles with the concept of food. He loves it, he hates it and just wants to find peace with it and within himself. He wants to make up with his body, his mind but he's lost all control so he's finding it hard to live. Alfie Hailo, a 16 year old swimmer, has been struggling with food since the age of 13. His parents put him in dance class when he was 6 but he was getting bullied as he got older, so decided to quit and choose a more 'masculine' sport.His father also left the family home 2 years prior and has been struggling to understand why. He has amazing friends, and an amazing family who love and care for him dearly but, he doesn't feel this. He feels like he has to be perfect. With the pressure of school, and having to keep up to the social norms of a professional swimmer, it's hard for Alfie to concentrate. He needs the help. And to do this, Alvin helps. Alvin helps him find his worth, take control, and makes his life easier, or so he seems. His best friends, Killian and Ruby, know Alfie inside and out. They know his family life, school life. And this is because Alfie is a simple person. He has never had a detention, nor has he been expelled. He's a straight A student with no history of alcohol or drug abuse. Will they suspect anything? How will Alfie proceed with his excruciating pain. Will he cover it up or will he find the courage to speak up and seek help?

The Day I Met Ana by kataroo22

Hi, my name is Anorexia. Ana for short. I'm here to tell a story. A story of struggle, family issues, and most of all, losing. At the moment I'm quite friendless and time will unfold that story but for now I have a question. Would you like to be my friend? I promise I'm nothing like they say. But I have to warn you, you must do everything I say.

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed) by El3phant

When you're stuck inside a layer of skin you never asked for, what does the soul do? It cries out in poems and pictures, and words that have so much meaning to anyone if they look hard enough. It winces in pain every time the pen hits the paper and shouts in agony every time the mirror is reflected upon a burning face. This is a collection of me. My eating disorder, my depression, anxiety, my thoughts, my words, my pain. If you've ever wondered what it was like inside the mind of an anorexic, a bulimic, a chronically depressed woman, here is the answer. A memoir written by me. There is no specific order you should read this book. Choose a random chapter from the table of contents, and read. Take a little in, leave a little out. ****** There is a major trigger warning for almost every story in here. If you are sensitive to numbers, or ideas or anything of this matter, this book may not be for you.

The Weight Game *UNDER EXTREME EDITING CURRENTLY* by CrystaloKolsto

Aubrey has always been the ultimate target for bullies at her school. All she wants is to be good enough for once in her life. What happens when she goes online and finds a website called 'the weight game' where it teaches people quick ways to shed weight? and she takes the tips that tell her to fast, and purge? Never put someone down, because it will never help you reach the top. And never call a person fat, because you never know what they will do in order to prove you wrong...........

The Long Lost Mafia Princess by Alicia265145

Valentina Williams that is the girls name of this story, or at least she thought it was. Turns out that her whole life is a lie. Her real name was Valentina Hernandez. Valentina finds out her whole life has been a lie when her 'parents' died. What happens when Valentina finds out that her parents aren't her real parents and she gets her real life back. Without people that beat and starve her everyday. How will she cope with all this new information? Will she tell her real family what happened with her? Will she trust these new people around her? Will she uncover all the secrets? Are these new people going to abuse her the same way the others did? If you want an answer, go read the story. It's a good one. xx also trigger warning, talked about abuse, self harm, ed, hate,.. (First few chapters aren't the best but it gets better later on)

Starving For Help by Lauryn_Love

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

Abigail by hmarieh1218

(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.

Chubby ✔️ by ice_olatedwriter

A girl who has been called chubby her whole life. By everyone. She wants to be a model; thinking it might make her pretty and people would stop calling her names and laughing at her for thinking she had a career in modeling. So she applies to a modeling school. The best in town. Her dream is to be a model. Yet, she is brutally rejected when she applies which completely shatters her heart. Her parents never supported her. So after she's rejected, instead of consoling her; they criticize her even more. She never really had friends to begin with; and now that the news of being rejected from the modeling school spread, no one would even look at her in a friendly way. She was mocked. She was bullied. The words kept changing. From chubby to fat. From stupid to worthless With the excessive amount of bullying, she fell into depression. Hard. She stopped eating. Maybe it'll make the horrible words go away?

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Slide 1 of 9

This is my truth cover

The Twisted Mind cover

The Day I Met Ana cover

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed) cover

The Weight Game *UNDER EXTREME EDITING CURRENTLY* cover

The Long Lost Mafia Princess cover

Starving For Help cover

Chubby ✔️ cover

This is my truth

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.