How to Lose a Job
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  • Reads 2
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Nov 12, 2015
Showing up late to the office can get you noticed by a lot of people, especially your boss. Being late to work one time will not get you noticed. Showing up late ten times or more can get you extremely noticed. So if you want to lose your job, show up late to your work about ten or more times. Your boss will tend to noticed that you have been showing up late and fire you.
	Another way to get yourself fired is to take those really long lunch breaks. Spend at least two hours on your lunch break. Invite your friend out to lunch with you at the busiest restaurant in town. Turn your phone on silent so you can ignore those stressful work related calls or texts.
	Start rumors about your co-workers. Yeah, I know starting rumors is not a good thing, but it’s a good thing if you want to get fired. Start a rumor like, “Did you hear Bill is dating Jennifer?” Some rumors may not catch as quickly, but keep pushing it and it will get around the workplace pretty fast.
	Next Step: Start complaining really loudly in the workplace. Avoid solution suggestions at all costs; someone mentions a suggestion, walk away. Also, take a sick day every other Friday. Especially Mondays, Also if you have boss as a friend on facebook, post pictures of you out partying on your sick days. 
	If you’re working at a factory, don’t show up to work for at least a week. If you do show up, when you’re at your own line, mess up, don’t do anything wrong, like print out the wrong thing what you’re supposed to do. Your boss will tend to notice that you’re slacking behind and not doing what you’re supposed to do. 
	Set up a meeting with HR, and just keep asking them questions like can I get a raise, and what is the policy for vacation time and etc.
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