Speechless

I think too much, a rather ungodly amount. I think too much about myself, how I am and the way I despise myself for it. I think about the universe and the ghastly amount of secrets it holds. I question "why am I here?", hoping one day, I will be able to find the answer.
And so often, I find my thoughts wandering over to you. I wonder, why with every mention, did my heart ache, desperately hoping, one day I would be noticed once again.
Why did your smile drive me mad and your laugh leaving me so speechless. Often, a question lingers, "why can't I get you out if my mind?" and "How long will it take for you to leave?"
But most of all, as every girl wonders, the greatest question of mystery that is always asked.. "What could we have been had you stayed?"
So, with such said, the mind lives games, so hen finally free, why not keep that shadow cast over and bother the dreams rather than the day?