[Del]'s Diary

[Del]'s Diary

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WpMetadataReadTamamlanmış Hikaye Çar, Haz 11, 20141h 57m
"Del" wakes up drugged in a seemingly empty hospital -- locked in a room. Everything she has ever known has been deleted: her memories, her identity, even her name. But then the night visits start and she begins to be tortured by memories that could not possibly hers: the tragic memories of several victims of the CIA's infamous MKULTRA project. EXCERPT: The bed lurches, and swings and I am gliding. A cold breeze rushes in on the stagnate room as lights float over me as I try not to stir. Electric currents course through my body. I’m certain Fill will notice the goose bumps on my arms as we swing round a corner and my flesh begins to crawl. The rat runs wild in my stomach like it’s being chased towards a trap with poisoned cheese. Fill must notice something is up. He slows down my carriage and bears down on me. I can make out his shadow through my lids, his head hinged to mine, and I suppress the instinct to pinch my eyes shut. “What are you up to?” he asks with a voice greased with the sound of motorcaws. He stares down at me for a moment, but then jingles the keys again. My heart starts to thump. I hear the turning of the handle. What am I so afraid of? And how can I be afraid of something I don’t even remember what it is? At the head of my bed again, I feel Fill over me. He grips either side of my pillow. The dry edges, I pray. I can smell the man of him now. Somehow, I know it is a smell I have bathed in in the past. I can’t believe he doesn’t hear the pounding of my heart, see it beating violently against my chest. But it’s not Fill I’m afraid of. I’m numb to his attention. It’s the door that scares me. Or, rather, the total blackness behind it. “Go get ‘em tiger,” he says as wheels me in. I can feel the rat dig his heels into the walls of my stomach, and scramble up my esophagus, clawing its way through my throat and out my teeth.
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I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as he stared across the table at me. I could seriously drown in his eyes. He was intoxicatingly attractive and he had to know it. That's why he was acting strange around me. For some reason, he looked at me as if I was the only one there with him. As if nobody else were here. And his voice... it pained me. It actually pained me with how utterly seductive and husky it always sounded. And the way he smelled all the time. I don't know why he smelled so strong, but I didn't mind. He smelled like evergreens and a hint of mint. It sounds like a bad combo, but it dizzied me with how lost I got in it. The thought of not being able to control myself, my thoughts and feelings and body when I'm around him, infuriated me. I was so good at holding myself together now, and he just unraveled me so easily, leaving me a mess. I wasn't the slightest bit afraid of him, and I had no idea why either. Just being in the same room, I felt like I didn't have to look over my shoulder. I didn't have to worry. I didn't even know who he was, and he still drew me in. "So, you were in California before? Why did you move?" Grace Hatfield asked, looking at him. She is our school's college and career advisor. She took me in and adopted me a couple years ago. She even gave me her last name. A saving grace. Why had she invited him here? Why did he come? He turned to her with a smile and a shrug. "Guess I just hadn't found what I was looking for yet." Something about the way he said it, sent a shiver down my spine. Why did I feel like there was so much more meaning behind his words than he was letting on? "Well, I hope you find what you're looking for." Grace said, and he turned to me with a devilish smirk and a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Something tells me that I will."

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