Discovering  Me

Discovering Me

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WpMetadataNoticeZuletzt aktualisiert So., Juli 10, 2016
As a child, I was always expected to be nice and forgiving and kind. I was never allowed to be sad or angry because nobody knew how to handle a crying dee. And as the years flew by I was molded into a.... a manic. Everyone else was happy with who I was so in turn I was happy. For years I bottled up my feelings and hid them away. I made sure that they could only witness the happy and.... and perfect me. Cause that was what I was in their eyes. Perfect. But they didnt know that deep down I was broken, shatterd and flawed. On the inside I was the complete oppisoit of what they wanted me to be. And I loved it. Even though no one would ever see that side of me, it was.... amazing to know that I was imperfect. And although everyone around me was striving to get the perfect life, image or relationship. I, I was striving for imperfection for something real , something that was not me.
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I knew I was a freak, I'm weird not stupid - even if I did act like it half the time. It wasn’t normal to be like me, to be afraid of things everyone loves, needs to survive even. I had always been afraid of it for some reason, among other things of course; I would rather die than have to face my fear. Everyone knew it but no one cared though did they? I was just another stupid kid in this stupid foster home. Another stupid kid that had been ‘dumped’ and no one wanted. At least, that's what I thought.

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