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I think the only way I can really express my feelings is through Drawing...I listen to other people's problems an give the best advice I can to them to help them...I can hear everybody else's voice but know seems to be able to hear my screams or cries through a fake smile I put on everyday...I always look so happy and laugh but all I feel is loneliness and bottled up pain...I feel so empty I don't feel connected to anyone I know...And no one seems to be able to see me slowly sink deeper and deeper into depression waiting to be swallowed up by despair and painful emotions...
whenever I start to cry I close my eyes and push them back bottling up my emotions once again pulling them down deeper as far as I can to keep from crying and put on the best smile I can around people and try my best to make them happy...why should I put my feelings on them and make them feel bad also...at least this way they get to be happy...I just wish for once someone would like to listen to what I have to say instead of me always being the one to listen to their stories and help be their shoulder to to cry on...but to do that I would have to break Down An emotional wall I've been building for years and if I do that I feel like I would crumble with them...my feelings shattering as I watch them hit the floor giving up every aspect of my life I work so hard to live with...
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