Listen
  • Reads 91
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 5
  • Time 16m
  • Reads 91
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 5
  • Time 16m
Ongoing, First published May 03, 2013
I think the only way I can really express my feelings is through Drawing...I listen to other people's problems an give the best advice I can to them to help them...I can hear everybody else's voice but know seems to be able to hear my screams or cries through a fake smile I put on everyday...I always look so happy and laugh but all I feel is loneliness and bottled up pain...I feel so empty I don't feel connected to anyone I know...And no one seems to be able to see me slowly sink deeper and deeper into depression waiting to be swallowed up by despair and painful emotions...
whenever I start to cry I close my eyes and push them back bottling up my emotions once again pulling them down deeper as far as I can to keep from crying and put on the best smile I can around people and try my best to make them happy...why should I put my feelings on them and make them feel bad also...at least this way they get to be happy...I just wish for once someone would like to listen to  what I have to say instead of me always being the one to listen to their stories and help be their shoulder to to cry on...but to do that I would have to break Down An emotional wall I've been building for years and if I do that I feel like I would crumble with them...my feelings shattering as I watch them hit the floor giving up every aspect of my life I work so hard to live with...
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A Perfect Circle cover

A Perfect Circle

32 parts Complete

Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option. ***** Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her... Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault. [[word count: 50,000-100,000 words]]