Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences***

In which she looks for the purpose of life.

Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible.

With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness?

*

"So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit.

His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that"

"What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears.

"Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek.

I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place.

"I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again.

Why?

There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add.

Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.