Chapter 1 The rules As a Somali girl I live in a paradox with two major ideologies pulling at me to stand with them or face ruin. These two ideologies are religion and culture. Most people would assume that the Somalia culture not only adheres to Islam but reflects it within our own unique East African identity. This is a un-educated presumption that has taken me till now to realize is a false equivalence. For the little world I live is not governed by the equitable and inherently just system of Islam but by another thing entirely which morphs itself depending on region and time. The Somali culture if examined with truth has very little to do with Islam and is more a mix of nomadic beliefs, Arabian culture, Colonial hang-ups, nationalism and a large amount of self-hate. This may seem disparaging of my own culture however I have stopped fighting the truth and accepted what I can be a part of and left what my religion disallows. To come to this point in my life it has taken a large amount of self-reflection, loss and re-education. The first time I was asked to choose between culture and religion where the two ideologies came face to face was when I left high school and without prior consent of my own I became part of " the marriage games". The marriage games are played by all eligible young men and women in my community. No-one will ever admit to being part of this charade however we all acknowledge it as we all know " that marriage is half of our deen". The games however present entirely different depending on your gender. For women your eligibility depends on your status within the community and your public personality. There are strict rules and regulations you must adhere to if you are to " win" a eligible young man. Rules 1. You must never be a hoe ( now the parameters of this are widely debated... but all agree that you must not lose your innocence to a man at all)