My Midnight Journal - Clarice Starling-Lecter - Wattpad

Story cover for My Midnight Journal by Dark_Immortal

My Midnight Journal

Reads 536
Votes 18
Parts 12
Time 26m

Reads 536
Votes 18
Parts 12
Time 26m

Mature

anger anorexia blade cry cutting harm help journal pain relapse release save self self-harm slip slipping suicide theory wrists

I do not want to seek attention, that is not what is is for. I want people out there like me to know they will never be alone. I also want to release the tortured thoughts which occur in the dark abyss that is my mind.
As I had the urge to cut once more tonight before kipping in for the night, instead on a blade to my wrist, I brought a laptop to my hands. I have released tonight's loundest demons. I want to do this more; writing to keep myself free of cutting, and my readers free of loneliness and isolation.

Forever A Tortured, Fallen Angel;

your Bo Jones &lt;3

*******WARNING MAY BE TRIGGERING AND VERY UNSETTLING*******All Rights Reserved

anger anorexia blade cry cutting harm help journal pain relapse release save self self-harm slip slipping suicide theory wrists

Table of contents

12 parts

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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me by Sweet_Cinnamon17

I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my pain into strength. Desperately wanting to carve up my skin, I bled on a page. My screams are silent, hidden behind closed doors, And computer screens. All these horrible emotions kept secret in notebooks. I'm too afraid to speak about it, so I write it down That's how my poetry is made. ~The birth of poetry -Me ____ First place in 2021 Irenic Awards poetry catergory Highest rankings: #16 original work #2 relapsing

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

The Feeling Underneath by ElisiaWrites

"The stars are infinite. And all I've ever wanted was an infinite." ______________ All I knew was pain. Pain was I, and I was pain. We shared each other, mind and body. Me and pain were made for each other like puzzle pieces, and that sickened me. I loved pain, I hated pain. I loved bringing the knife to my wrist, but I hated the ache in my chest, like drowning. There was nothing I sought more than my own self destruction. And here, amongst the stars, skies, and cliffs, I'd find what I sought. I'd make it mine. I'd become infinite. WARNING: this story contains abuse, self harm, and suicide. Do not read if these topics can trigger something within you. Please, know your limits.

Fixing Me ~ Markiplier x Reader by WolfBlood0315

Book 2 Of Broken Me. 2/3 ~~~ You made a promise to not harm yourself. Or try even harder but all recovery has relapses. But how will it work out when you have Mark, Jack and B/n with you every step of the way but you still push them away? Will you start getting better? This is your recovery.

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) by wonderland_smile

I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-

Starving For Help by Lauryn_Love

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

Evolution by andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

Whisper To Me by AWhisperAmongEchos

I don't know how it happened, I don't know where it began and I don't know when it ends. We met on an app, we were never meant to be such close friends, but we were, maybe even more. We grew close, yet we were strangers at the same time. You were my shoulder to cry on even though you were rarely there physically. I told you my secrets, but I was so caught up in the thought of finally having someone there for me that I never realized the fact that you never told me yours. When we first met we were inseparable. We weren't meant to be more than just acquaintances, but somehow, we grew closer and I got attached. I tried to stay away, I tried to keep my distance, but I was clouded by the fact that I wanted- needed a friend. The walls I spent so long building up, you knocked them down so easily, that it looked almost effortless. I fooled myself into thinking that you would always be there, that you were different from everyone else, that you wouldn't leave like them, that you wouldn't drop me like I was nothing. Foolish girl. We grew closer, I got attached and somewhere along the way, I fell in love. You never loved me the way you loved her, did you? Was I just a broken toy you wished to fix? Did you pity me, the lonely girl that barely survived the world? Why did you leave? I wake up one morning and you're gone. Gone from my life, from my mind, from my memory. Please tell me why. Why was this our falling out? Please tell me. What was it, the words you continue to whisper to me before I close my eyes?

Emotional Amnesia by CAKerst

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not". I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing... But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry. I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade... Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you! #679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018 #779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018 #807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018 #474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018

Emotions [Dazai x Reader] ✓ by AnAlienFromJupiter

"Never play with the feelings of others because you may win the game, but the risk is that you surely lose the person for a lifetime." Love is as complicated as it gets. It can be found in the most unexpected of places and manifest before we ourselves realise it. And it seems no different when [Y/N] experiences this herself. But the complications of love are hardly ever mentioned, and when they are, those already victims of love are way too deep into it to have salvation. 🅲🅾🅼🅿🅻🅴🆃🅴🅳: 08 / 02 / 2021 🅷🅸🅶🅷🅴🆂🆃 🆁🅰🅽🅺🅸🅽🅶: bsd #124 bungo #1 portmafia #65 dazai #114 osamudazai #35 dazaiosamu #5 dazaixreader #12 dazaiosamuxreader #13 [I do not own Bungou Stray Dogs or its characters, nor do I own the photo used for the cover, and this story has been heavily based on an original by @dazaiuu] [Dazai x fem! Reader - She/her pronouns will be used]

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Slide 1 of 10

4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me cover

Not me. (2023) cover

The Feeling Underneath cover

Fixing Me ~ Markiplier x Reader cover

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) cover

Starving For Help cover

Evolution cover

Whisper To Me cover

Emotional Amnesia cover

Emotions [Dazai x Reader] ✓ cover

4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me

I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my pain into strength. Desperately wanting to carve up my skin, I bled on a page. My screams are silent, hidden behind closed doors, And computer screens. All these horrible emotions kept secret in notebooks. I'm too afraid to speak about it, so I write it down That's how my poetry is made. ~The birth of poetry -Me ____ First place in 2021 Irenic Awards poetry catergory Highest rankings: #16 original work #2 relapsing