My Midnight Journal
- Reads 554
- Votes 18
- Parts 12
MatureComplete Thu, Mar 24, 201626m
I do not want to seek attention, that is not what is is for. I want people out there like me to know they will never be alone. I also want to release the tortured thoughts which occur in the dark abyss that is my mind.
As I had the urge to cut once more tonight before kipping in for the night, instead on a blade to my wrist, I brought a laptop to my hands. I have released tonight's loundest demons. I want to do this more; writing to keep myself free of cutting, and my readers free of loneliness and isolation.
Forever A Tortured, Fallen Angel;
your Bo Jones <3
*******WARNING MAY BE TRIGGERING AND VERY UNSETTLING*******
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Lonely lovers (Antisepticeye x Reader)
She was always alone.... she never had friends she barely knew what it was like to love someone.... she was perfect.... but so broken.... lost.... À̴̱͝L̜̳ͮ̉O̴̰̝̞̽̄͊͟ͅÑ͖̖̲̐̒͗E̷͔̎͠͠͝ͅ she never deserved to be neglected, and yet she was. Before her all i wanted was the control over what was rightfully mine... now its more complicated, i want my own... my own body so i can forever hold her... and cherish her.... but our kinds aren't meant to be... we could be killed if anyone found out. The risks could be taken if the love is worth waitin. She is perfect... and i want her all to myself.... and it angers me every time i see them with her, they dont belong with her, i do.... and i will prove that too her.... or I'll just force her to see my way... (This is an Anti x Reader, yes this is why i gave up on my other one... but don't expect me not to give up on this one lol anyways enjoy! Warning there is explicit content in this, sexual content, murder, suicide, cursing, racism, and other triggering topics will be mentioned in this story so please read on your own terms <3 love y'all)Complete
𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑭𝑼𝑳 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬 | tk☆
:: i apologize for not updating at the moment, as I'm currently in the midst of exams and taking a brief hiatus. ☽╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮☾ -"𝒋𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒏𝒋𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒅. 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆, 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈; 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒈𝒆, 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒔." Everything in this content is fictional and created from my imagination. If you find it uncomfortable or dislike the content, please kindly ignore and move on. Please refrain from reporting it, as crafting this content requires a significant effort and courage. I hope you understand. Have a good day, and thank you.
Wave (Book 2)
I had survived the first. That was then; this is now. The blindfold of so many pills slowly died away and first though my finger then my head, a passion, a hurt and a need filled me as every moment was consumed with words; every breath with wisps of ink. But they were not all captured and somewhere in the deep abyss of living, lies the unspoken, almost unfelt feelings of decades in months. This is the half-empty account off all those nights from December through into the new year and the end of March. ...I pains me to share it. But it also makes it just not my problem anymore and that is something I long for- freedom and peace. Please note that all grammatical and linguistic, as well as those in punctuation and spelling or placing of words were intentional. If you LIKE this and want me to write a commentary on each poem and picture (as in my previous collection Apfel), please show me in comments and votes :) PLEASE DO NOT COPY any of the poetry or pictures.Complete
4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my pain into strength. Desperately wanting to carve up my skin, I bled on a page. My screams are silent, hidden behind closed doors, And computer screens. All these horrible emotions kept secret in notebooks. I'm too afraid to speak about it, so I write it down That's how my poetry is made. ~The birth of poetry -Me ____ First place in 2021 Irenic Awards poetry catergory Highest rankings: #16 original work #2 relapsingComplete
Broken mind (Under heavy editing!)
I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-Complete
The Feeling Underneath
"The stars are infinite. And all I've ever wanted was an infinite." ______________ All I knew was pain. Pain was I, and I was pain. We shared each other, mind and body. Me and pain were made for each other like puzzle pieces, and that sickened me. I loved pain, I hated pain. I loved bringing the knife to my wrist, but I hated the ache in my chest, like drowning. There was nothing I sought more than my own self destruction. And here, amongst the stars, skies, and cliffs, I'd find what I sought. I'd make it mine. I'd become infinite. WARNING: this story contains abuse, self harm, and suicide. Do not read if these topics can trigger something within you. Please, know your limits.Complete
Weak
Angel feels like dead weight on everyone's shoulders, useless waste of time for everyone else, yet for some reason they still cared about him. Angel is slowly falling apart, trying to hide it from not only himself, but trying to convince himself that he doesn't need help. But one particular demon comes into his life, determined to make a change of things. How would it work out though, and most importantly how would he escape from the hell of his broken mind? TW: Self harm, gore, self-starvation, rape, abuse and neglect. Start- 31st December 2021 End- 13th April 2022Complete
Emotional Amnesia
Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not". I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing... But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry. I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade... Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you! #679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018 #779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018 #807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018 #474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018Complete
Starving For Help
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.Complete
Sorrow Witnessed By The Moon
Chuuya was suffering from pain. He was hurt badly and he want to ended it by dying. Dazai learn and came to save Chuuya. Both ended up confessing their hidden feeling after all the years of hiding in fear of rejection. [Reminder, there's some chapter that really is a bit detailed. Please be cautious. This a angst, romance and happy ending type of story. I don't really much had a knowledge on writing angst and this is my first one writing that includes mostly angst. So be prepared.] Ps : Don't Copy To Another Site without my permissionComplete
She was always alone.... she never had friends she barely knew what it was like to love someone.... she was perfect.... but so broken.... lost.... À̴̱͝L̜̳ͮ̉O̴̰̝̞̽̄͊͟ͅÑ͖̖̲̐̒͗E̷͔̎͠͠͝ͅ she never deserved to be neglected, and yet she was. Before her all i wanted was the control over what was rightfully mine... now its more complicated, i want my own... my own body so i can forever hold her... and cherish her.... but our kinds aren't meant to be... we could be killed if anyone found out. The risks could be taken if the love is worth waitin. She is perfect... and i want her all to myself.... and it angers me every time i see them with her, they dont belong with her, i do.... and i will prove that too her.... or I'll just force her to see my way... (This is an Anti x Reader, yes this is why i gave up on my other one... but don't expect me not to give up on this one lol anyways enjoy! Warning there is explicit content in this, sexual content, murder, suicide, cursing, racism, and other triggering topics will be mentioned in this story so please read on your own terms <3 love y'all)
More detailsContent Guidelines