uncontrollable (completed) - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - Wattpad

uncontrollable (completed)

howelling-for-you

Reads 16,516
Votes 447
Parts 30
Time 2h 50m

Reads 16,516
Votes 447
Parts 30
Time 2h 50m

howelling-for-you

amazingphil angst dan danhowell danisnotonfire fluff howell lester phil phillester

When a tragedy forced Mara Smith across the atlantic ocean to London, the only person she knew was her childhood friend, Phil lester.

Two years later, her life is normal, or as normal as it'll get with her ptsd. And nightmares. And hallucinations. But still normal, boring even. Safe. That is, until she gets a threatening text, and panics. Although, she's made a few acquaintances since moving to England, she still runs to Phil, her best friend. She meets his roommate, Dan for the first time, and jumps at the chance to have another trustworthy friend. 

If juggling a dark past, threatening text messages, and trying to keep her ptsd under control wasn't enough, she had to fall for her friend. Despite her best efforts, Mara learns that our emotions are  
u n c o n t r o l l a b l eAll Rights Reserved

amazingphil angst dan danhowell danisnotonfire fluff howell lester phil phillester

Table of contents

30 parts

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psychedelia | phan by thenightlockfox

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

Years, Life by PhanGirlAbi

Dan and Phil were always best friends, until one day everything changes... Dan is taken away. Will they stay together, or will they be torn apart forever? Trigger warnings: self harm, child abuse, homophobia, suicide, suicidal thoughts, anorexia, depression, anxiety, bulimia, GID.

Let Love Last - Phan by musicisasaviour

Angst, Fluff. A Phan story that will pull at your heart strings and flood you with emotions. After spending a few days acting annoyed with his beloved, Dan asks the almost impossible question; Will you marry me? Nothing in life could be more perfect for them than it is right now. That is, until life decides to throw them a curve ball. When health takes control of Dan's life, it is left for him and Phil to simply make the most of what little time they have left by revisiting dates and memories. But the day finally comes where Dan has to leave Phil with hardly a chance to say goodbye. But, somehow, the usually disorganised boy who is prone to procrastinate has been for-thinking and left Phil a little present... Warning; this story is very emotional indeed :3

Moving ~ PHAN by krysiice

When Dan start school in a new place, he and Phil become friends fast. But what happens when things become to much? What happens when the only relief seems to be in harming? What happens when they start catching feelings for one another? But what happens when what Dan's been forced to do his whole life, emerges again, threatening to possibly separate them forever, especially when they need the other the most? *Contains: -fluff, smut -descriptive issues such as: self harm, abuse, suicidal thoughts PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY THESE THINGS stay safe *hugs*

Catfish | phan by akaarie

[complete] Seventeen-year-old Dan Howell never expected he'd meet the man of his dreams in an online chatroom. Six months later, he'd also never expected they'd end up coincidentally rooming together in a vacation house. This wouldn't have been too bad if Dan had actually told Phil the truth about his identity, not that his name was "Blake". Now, he's stuck on a week long holiday with an Internet crush who has no idea who he really is. - *note: original plot idea belongs to ButterFish; i take no credit

A day in the clouds by Rekindledlove

Dan Howell suffers from schizophrenia. The voices in his head tell him to do horrible things to himself and others, but the only thing grounding him to earth is the clouds in the sky. Phil Lester has sever depression and is struggling to keep going each day. All his life he had been a mer shell of a man. When they meet one day by fate, how will it all play out?

Smile {A Phanfiction} by lPhantomWriterl

Dan loved his smile. That was probably his favorite thing about Phil Lester. Although he kept on smiling, Phil was torn on the inside. Although he kept on smiling, sadness washed over him. He kept on smiling, for Dan. Dan has always loved Phil, but Phil's feelings for Dan have just started. They both have doubts that the other person will ever love them, so much so that the two come up with ways to mask or get over their feelings. Dan hides in his room, writing about the his dream relationship with Phil. Phil tries to find a new person to fill the gaping hole inside him where Dan was supposed be. Will they ever realize what's really going on between them?

Opposite Omens | Phan by SaltyLoaf

Imagine a world that a single swirl on your body can change the course of your entire life. One person can change your life for better or worse, and there's nothing either of you can do to stop it. Or, so it was thought. Dan and Phil live together as best friends until a single tattoo flips their entire lives upside-down. Will their friendship be torn apart or will they become closer than ever?

Afire Love // Dan Howell by CastawayFangirl

"It's really nothing" "If it's nothing Dan, why are you trying to hide it from me?" When a major event happens, turning Dan's life upside down, he must accept the help of Phil and yourself despite having his defenses up in order to protect your potential relationship. What problems will you face? Will Dan's health affect you as well as himself? Will you put on a smile for him, even when you know of the negative outcome? Find out and enjoy :)

my freudian slip - phan by Eavans

dan howell is a mess, but so is phil lester. and for some reason- that sort of brings them together. or, the one where dan is a prostitute and phil doesn't want to come out of the closet. school au

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Slide 1 of 10

psychedelia | phan cover

Years, Life cover

Let Love Last - Phan cover

Moving ~ PHAN cover

Catfish | phan cover

A day in the clouds cover

Smile {A Phanfiction} cover

Opposite Omens | Phan cover

Afire Love // Dan Howell cover

my freudian slip - phan cover

psychedelia | phan

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.