One Life (Phan)

***READ FIRST***
Trigger Warnings:
Self harm thoughts/themes. Suicide thoughts/themes. Depression and anxiety. You have been warned.

/"Dan..."/

/I look back at him, averting my gaze from my laptop. We're at Phil's house, sitting in his room. I am on the beanbag. Phil was stretched out on the floor to my right, but now he's sitting up. I can tell he's nervous./

/"What, Phil?"/

/"How long have we known each other?"/

/I look back at him, confused. "I don't know... three years?"/

/Phil nods, and then turns his head away from me, chewing his lip. I stare at his beautiful face a moment longer before returning back to my laptop./

/I go on Facebook and search through my feed. Then I feel something warm on the side of my cheek./

/I turn to see Phil, smirking. Then he drops his grin and looks away. I realize with surprise that he'd kissed me./

/"Oh God, I've screwed things up now, haven't--"/

/I pull him towards me and press my lips against his. His lips are soft and gentle. I grab my laptop off of my lap and place ext to me, replacing it with Phil. We pull away, and his eyes sparkle. Our foreheads and noses touch, and I stare into his beautiful face. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Then I kiss him again, his hands snaking up my back and to the back of my head. My stomach explodes with fireworks, and I can tell he feels the same way./

/His face heats up when we pull away a second time. I want to pull him back in, but instead he rests his head on my right shoulder. I hold him, my arm around his waist. I melt into his figure, and I feel like I'm the happiest person alive./

---

/That was the first time you kissed him, right?/

I slowly stir from my dream.

/And now you won't ever kiss him again/