I'm Glad I'm Not God
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- Votes 8
- Parts 6
Ongoing51m
Last published Wed, Jan 13, 2016
I'd never be good at writing a suicide note because I end up rambling and digressing. I'd just end up apologizing for everything I did instead of explaining why I committed the act. My mother would still be wondering why. But a part of that is we are completely different people and our brains work differently. And that's the only reasoning I can give. My brain is wired so I'm depressed and anxious and melancholy and bipolar. Five minutes ago I was being annoying and following my mother around, laughing all the while. And then she kicked me out of her room so I held the doorknob down so she couldn't lock me out. I ended up bending the door handle and I finally left with her screaming after me, "you RUINED my doorknob!" I refuse to cry though because then I'd get hysterical. I don't understand my body but I understand regret. That is an emotion I feel often. Like right now. I'm going to go and stare at a wall until I'm thoroughly contemplating suicide and then I'll go to sleep before I cry. I don't know why I'm this way but I am. But I'm just stuck in this cycle because I'd never actually commit suicide. Because I couldn't write the suicide note.
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#164
autobiography
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ONGOING, SLOW UPDATES. Thank you for reading though! As a young girl you had always believed that monsters as they seemed, were always big creepy things, with sharp teeth and long claws. Piercing eyes and mouths wide enough to swallow you whole. But one thing you didn't realize is that, monsters aren't what you had always imagined them to be. They are real. And sometimes, they're a lot closer to you than you think. 18 year old Hana is forced into moving across the country to a foreign land, full of people she doesn't know, just for her father's business. She fears that she won't ever fit in, but that all changes when she comes across a mysterious boy, whom she can't seem to get enough of. Secrets are revealed, blood is shed and tears are cried but does Hana have what it takes to live this life she's been thrown into? Or will her depression swallow her whole as she fights to keep her head above water. "The mafia it seems is no place for a girl like you" "I'd rather die than be seen with the likes of you" "I can't! "I can't do this anymore. You lie you cheat you do everything in your power to make me not trust you! I've just found out you were using me and for what? To what end? Huh?" You scream into the boys face but he doesn't even flinch. His eyes still dark and stormy pools. "I trusted you. Maybe even loved you! What am I? Just a fucking toy to satisfy your musings?" You can't help but let a tear to slip down your flush cheek, allowing it to leave a warm traitorous trail down your face that cools and dries upon contact with the air around you. "Maybe that was the old me, but you aren't just a play thing now. You're my world"
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