Please, no more laughing

I was the life of the party. Even when there was no party. I made one happen. I made people laugh. I made myself laugh. I worked good and hard to make myself laugh. Lord, you could hear my laugh from a block away. "Isn't he something, that Lester?," people would say. "Always happy. Look at him. Always with the smile. "Hell, even I thought I was happy. As long as I wasn't alone. I can't tell you how I hated that, being alone. Oh, not everyone signed on. Sometimes I'd see people frown, or move to another table. Once I heard someone say, "God, I wish that jerk would keep it down." But who cares, right? Party-poopers. You get'em up in every crowd. Still, it wore me out sometimes, working like that, keeping the motor running, the horn honking, the smoke pouring out. Sometimes I just wanted to come to rest, you know? Stop. Like a shark. Oh, that's right. Sharks don't stop. They can't. Or they'll die. So today, I made a mistake. I stayed alone. And then I decided, that's what I'll do. I'll just stop. I'll rest. Oh yeah, and I took some pills. A lot of pills. Any moment now. Do you know? I feel great. Just one thing. Please? Don't laugh.