Forgotten

My father had abandoned me at a young age. I carried that burden of hatred towards him for so long, and continue to to this day. As time passed many others had abandoned me, and so had the thought of peace and happiness. The rest of my bloodline was at ease and experiencing only the natural chain of events. I sat there and watched as my blood would argue, fight, scream, and continue to break this family image my mother was so fond of. I watched as the people I called my family friends those dear to me had left me. I remember the confusion in my eyes as their backs turned to me. The despair. The humility. The torture. It had happened so much I started finding it amusing and baffling. I laughed to keep from crying, but sometimes I ended up doing both at the same time. I then searched for love. I figured it was my last chance to find true harmony I once did being an oblivious child. That number never stood still. Truth is I have never had a family. I'd never last in one. I'm not worthy.