My Light

My Light

XoWriterXoReader
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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing47m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Fri, Nov 9, 2018
anxietybadboysdeepdepressiondogs
Then I know that it doesn't help. In fact, it makes it worse. The temptation grows stronger and stronger, to the point that I can't shave my legs. To the point that I have to throw away my razor. What starts out as something so small, just one cut. Only one. It then turns into just two, three, and four. To the point that the cuts get deeper and deeper. Until I see the faces of the people who love me. And I'm reminded that I need to do something with my life. I can't just sit around and harm myself because I want to die. Because I don't want to be here. I needed to find something that released all the pent emotions that I felt.You see depression is horrible. I wouldn't wish something like this on the worst person in the world. You feel numb, empty. But you feel everything at the same time. You feel pain. It's so damn painful. You feel so, so much pain that you are immune to it. So immune that you feel nothing at all. But then again you feel everything. I found a new release. But yet I still seek warmth and comfort from the darkness that is depression. I thrive for that darkness. It's like the only thing that I can count on. The darkness is my light. THIS BOOK IS VERY DARK, SO IF YOU SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION/ ANXIETY JUST KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. THIS IS A TRIGGER WARNING! I will eventually change the cover, because I made this two-three years ago lolz.
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Anomalies ✔

"I am the textbook definition of in love with you." *** Castor Rex: He's snarky, quiet and mysterious. A secret keeper. He doesn't like his life to be on display. People avoid him, even if they respect him. Jasper Red: He's polite, nice and helpful. A open book. He likes filling his life with other people and their love. People love him, they can't help it. Because of his quiet nature, snarky smirks and sarcastic words Castor has always had a hard time when it came to making friends -and keeping them. Something Jazz doesn't struggle with. With Jazz's protective nature, shyness and many friends he doesn't need someone else to fill a spot in his life -at least, that's what he thought. Then they met. And that empty part in Jazz's heart felt a little bit bigger because he started to realize Cas could fill it. Cas sees him as a grinning, happy dork he has no chance with. Jazz sees him as a adorable, grumpy jock that now, is his. Castor wants to get through the school year as quietly as possible but with how loud Jazz loves, neither of them know if it's possible, and to make matters worse they're roommates for the rest of the year. It's only a matter of time before they come together or fall apart. *** As a private person, someone who doesn't share myself with others, I can say that learning how to interact with others is difficult. It's like baking, almost, you have to mix the right ingredients together, and if you add the wrong ones things can taste hideous even if they look good. It's a lot like our words. But I've mastered how to tell someone just a little about myself but doing it in a way that makes the person in front of me think they know a lot. Jasper, somehow, sees through this every fucking time and it's absolutely infuriating. He's never satisfied with just a little of me, with my hidden truth, and it's the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. *** @STESLARA made the second POV in her book 'Jasper Red's Anomaly'

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