Its not my fault....I think
- Reads 379
- Votes 78
- Parts 30
Complete Wed, Jul 27, 20166m
why do i feel like i do?
did i do something wrong?
i have, haven't i
because i just mess everything up...
Trigger !
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Excerpts of A Chaotic Mind
Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. The thoughts and emotions I battle and the imaginary scenarios I dream up sometimes. Think of this is as my own public diary. . I will warn there are some themes surrounding mental health, self harming thoughts and actions, and talk of traumatising events. Please check tags for trigger warnings.Complete
Palinoia
I frowned. "If insanity is a mental illness then madness lies within us all. Think about it. We develop illnesses from different pathogens such as the common cold. That's an illness. Some people are just better immune to sickness than others..." 'All suffering in the world is born from one individual's incompetence.' Do you believe the saying is true? Has it ever crossed your mind that all the war, hatred and pain was the result from the actions of your own species? These were the type of questions that not only Sebastian Turner thought but haunted his very soul. When his once-beloved country's peace is interrupted by those who want to interfere with the peace, you immediately take action and defend because YOU are the victim, right? And of course, aiding your country automatically makes you a hero, correct? Well....if only that was the case.Complete
Never Happened
Everything was going smoothly, me and him were friends with benefits. And I guess in love as well. But things change we lose people, shit happens. And it fucks up everything I had. And everything I could've had. It's like, something went extremely wrong.....i wanna pretend it never happened.Complete
Breathe
Help, I have done it again I have been here many times before Hurt myself again today And the worst part is there's no one else to blame Be my friend, hold me Wrap me up, unfold me I am small, and needy Warm me up and breathe me Ouch, I have lost myself again Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found Yeah, I think that I might break Lost myself again and I feel unsafeComplete
Unhealthy Obsession |18+|
-Let's get this straight. From a dead end job to a useless crazy ex boyfriend- my happiness is with my best friend yet the fear of our relationship ending completely scares me and id rather fake it and be in fear than find out and never be happy. It sucks, seeing him everyday and knowing what i feel for him and how deep those feelings go is painful...- But when he comes around everything changes for the best and for the worst. As a whole they are deeply loved and equally as hated by others but the love from one another is undeniable, if only she wasnt so selfish with her choices and words- -Lying, cheating, sneaking, crying- many acts and emotions come from within when there's someone you love unaware of that love.. Possibly growing to love someone else right before your eyes..Its gut wrenching, i know because ive fucked up. Its worse when you're aware of the harm you cause yourself and others but dont care how the outcome turns out to be. Why would it matter how it effects you if youre used to pain and people leaving? it wouldnt. All because you take comfort in your own mind and mental illness, once you realize you have freewill it may become a bad thing if youre careless.- - Gabriella White.Complete
Thoughts
Poetry♠️♥️♣️♦️ (Please don't copy. All texts are written by me and belong to me.)Complete
UNDERGROUND
I'm an artist. At least that's what I'm trying to become. I study art so that's a good step right? I have a normal life... well not really but it's not completely fucked up you know? I just do the things I maybe shouldn't but there are plenty other dudes doing the same. Drinking, partying, drugs... I won't say I'm proud of it but I don't regret it either. I like my life... sometimes I do. Who would've thought that my life would end up like this fucking mess? And who would've thought that I could change that much? All because I liked a boy... Careful this book is full with trigger warnings I will mention at each chapter. Some of them are: - drug use - alcohol - sexual abuse - physical abuse - mental abuse - suicide - self harm - eating disorder
The Days With No Sun
Sometimes we fear truth over reality. But things get dark and heavy and we play the blame game. We end up hurting others or ourselves even. We don't think before we act or we don't say before we do. This is the evolution of my madness. A cluster of rants and thoughts and poems for you guys. Everything is written how I wanted it to be rants will be long with few pauses and there will be mistakes I might have skipped over. Aha. Poems at the beginning from when I was 15 years old to now when Im 18. Truly a visual of my writing evolution. Edited by @ChemicalStarling who writes a lot but never posts! Read on, loves. I'll see you on the other side...Complete
Evolution
There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.Complete
Try me
I know that I'm fucked up we all have one thing that fucks us up wether its a person or a thing. But the problem is nobody owns it i own the fact that I'm fucked up to feel better about myself and my problems. I might be damaged goods. But all i want is for you to fucking try me. not editedComplete
Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. The thoughts and emotions I battle and the imaginary scenarios I dream up sometimes. Think of this is as my own public diary. . I will warn there are some themes surrounding mental health, self harming thoughts and actions, and talk of traumatising events. Please check tags for trigger warnings.
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