Diary of an Emo girl

I use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.

Inside an Enigma (Youth Years) by intjxestj

Dear Reader, This journal is my own personal journal. As you read, you will come across letters, school work, essays, entries, photos, drawings, etc,. on how I, myself, experienced and saw the world. This is dedicated for those who seek what is true and is on a current quest to develop the betterment of oneself along with the multitude of peers in society. My objective is to help open new perspectives some may never have thought of, to open ears to those who may not hear, and to widen eyes of those who missed the small glimpses that were in front of them. With the constant change of new technology; Society reinventing itself day by day- I want to put out at least one source that shows what the world really is, and how to find the simplicity in life, because to most it seems seldom easy. You see, my main goal is not to live forever, but to create something that will. To create something that outlives me.

I have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.

"She's right! She's right! I don't cut in the right spot." My hold tightens on my wrist. The red blood oozes out of my wrist. I slide up and grab my bag and run out of the bathroom. I don't care if people can see the blood I just want to get out. I race for the doors and shove through people. I earn a lot of glares and glances that read "weirdo." I ignore and push. I run to my house and lock myself in my bathroom. I don't bother closing the front door cause I don't care if people come in to kill me. I grab my razor and cut deep cuts into my arm and wrists falling into a pool of my own blood. • • • Evangeline has a great life. Friends? Check! Good grades? Check! Loving family? Check! But what if she has secrets that nobody knows of? What if the only thing she can trust is her secret diary? What if slowly but surly she's dying inside? How can an innocent twelve year old deal with these problems? Will she keep on facing these problem till the day she breaks. Her school burns down forcing her into a different school to meet different people and she has to fit into a different lifestyle as well. Meet Evangeline. Now at 17 years of age in a new high school. Not all girls anymore. No uniform. Meet Drake. Your classic bad-boy. He just moved to Saint Abigail high school. He is assigned partners with the quiet, calm, unnoticed Evangeline. As time progresses he finds that she isn't as happy on the inside as she is on the outside. Can he save her? Or is it too late? • • • Some rude language. Depression and cutting. Don't say I didn't warn you. Okay, I wrote this at the start of this year (may 2016) and I had very poor writing skills. This book hasn't been edited and the whole idea is cliche so I wouldn't recommend you read it but I'm not stopping you, either. Read at your own risk. • • • Copyright © 2017 by -moonlust. All rights reserved.

"Who's there," I can't breath. I'm always looking over my shoulder ever since- I can't think about the now. I have to run but where, back to Jake? No I can't, everything is different now. He's supposed to be here to protect me, because if the got me... blood smears the pages of the passed. "Sapphire!" I hear him call. "Coal!" I reach out to touch him only for him to be yanked just out of my reach. I hear the wolves in the distance howling at the beautiful moon. I need his touch again. I need to know I'm safe. The only safe place anymore is pressed against him under the sheets. "Coal!" I call out again. ---I can hear her. She's here somewhere I know it. I can smell her sent threw the thick of the woods. "Sapphire!" I call out, but my call is lost in the night. I have to protect her. I have to save one, just one. Maybe that will be enough to clean the blood off my tainted skin. What if they get her? She'll... Change... I look up at the moon, could she not have heard my howls? Of course she did. She always did. I can hear the other wolves in the forest. Soon I too would be engulfed by the beast. Unable to control myself, unable to predict the beasts next move. Only she could tame the beast inside me. Why be afraid of the monster under the bed when you should be afraid of the one lying next to you under the sheets.--- I keep quiet in the deep dark night. Watching her waiting for her to come back to me. I wait for him to slip up just long enough for me to swoop in and take her. It's only a matter of time. I wait for him to turn into that hideous beast. The beast that only comes out in the light of the moon. The beast that feeds of the insentient. I have to find her,to make her perfect, at least that's what they tell me. They tell me she'll be perfect and she will be mine. She will be the beginning of a new ere the ere of the beast. Everyone has secrets. Everyone lies. Everyone cries. Everyone dies. 2 view points, Coal and Sapphire. Mature! All rights reserved! Thank you!

NOTE: This is a preview for my book that is published and sold on Amazon. I will be posting the first four chapters on here and if you'd like to finish the book the link to my books is in my bio Evangeline is faced with a decision that could change her life forever. If she decides to do this, she can never look back. She lost her brother when she was only eight years old and feels like she's becoming farther and farther away from her parents each day. When she views an expensive ring in a jewelry store, a guy pulls up in a blood-red car. She has no knowledge of who he is until she sees him snatch a bracelet. She tries to turn him in but he kidnaps her, and when she attempts to escape he lets her go but with an offer. He offers to mentor her in becoming a young criminal. The next day she discovers a mysterious channel on her TV. She starts watching it and soon realizes it's a news channel for criminals. She shows the channel to her best friend assuming nothing will go wrong, but her best friend threatens to turn the channel into the police. Ever since she saw the ring, met the man, discovered the channel, she knows what she has to do. She feels it inside of her, she has to commit a crime to satisfy something deep within her. If she decides to do this, she knows she can never look back. Will she find a dark passion she had deep inside her, or will she get in huge trouble with the law?

"Fuck." He whispers into my neck, sending a thrill of excitement through my body. His lips still smothered kisses over my neck and his hands roamed my body, starting at my chest, going down to my stomach. Caressing my soft skin, his thumb trailed circles on my groin before slightly slipping into the waistband of my jeans. My breath catches in my throat as I pull at the hoodie that covered his chiselled body. Understanding, Jacob pulls it off in one swift movement before attaching his lips back on my neck. Sucking and biting it before flicking his tongue over the sore spot. A quiet moan leaves my mouth and I clasp my hand over it, denying any noise to escape. "You drive me fucking crazy, Aria." ---------------------------- Aria Bailey finds it hard to fit in. Her parents are always busy and never have time for her. She lives alone at her family home and has top grades in all of her classes. But being a 17 year old friendless nerd comes with its disadvantages. The bullying gets worse every single day, driving her to self harm and suicidal thoughts. Aria learns more about popular boy, Jacob Rickson and starts developing feelings for the well known 18 year old. Jacob helps her come out of her shell and learn to be more comfortable and confident. Aria has to make a tough decision by choosing if she would rather be with Jacob and be bullied by her mind for eternity, or to leave and be left alone, exactly how she wants to be. -Strangers to lovers -Right person, wrong time

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!

Diary of an anorexic

I use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.