Dear My Reader

Dear reader,

Dude, I need your help. I have attached some letters to the back of this paper. Short stories too!!! I'm on the way to my execution. I think I was shoplifting, or maybe I killed a few people. I don't know. But does it really matter? I may or may not have had too many beers. Not a big deal.

But anyway, I'm in my cell, just having my last cup of tea, writing to you. Why you? That is a good question, my dear reader. I honestly don't know. I think they put something in my tea. I should stop drinking it. *takes a sip and clears throat*

Anyway, these are just some short (or long, I don't know) letters I wrote in my free time. Which I have alot of. You know, since I'm always in a jail cell and everything. Honestly, you never know what might go into this. No, really. Lately I've been thinking about writing a murder story. (I wonder where that idea came from...) I mean you never know.

I don't have a specific time or anything that I'm going to promise to send to you, just whenever I feel like writing something or someone gives me an idea that could be a good story. Anything can go down in here, so imma need you to sign the first paper attached to the letter. Do it and I will give you a cinnamon roll. Wait, no! That's the last one I will ever eat!!! You know what? Take it. I don't like them anyway. *lies* Shut it. Moving on. These are your requirements.

~ Sign the paper. I SAID SIGN THE DAMN PAPER!!!!!

~ Read at least one of my stories and tell me how you feel about it. I don't care, just some feed back. What I have to do better, how awesome I am, whatever.

~ Give me a ride to the insane asylum. No, I have to visit a friend. *lies* Shut it.

So now I you permit I on to carry on.

Your truly, Legend Sane

P.S. My executioner said that the only food to make a person cry is a onion, so I threw a coconut at his face. Ha, your welcome.