Starving For Help - Lauryn Love Bertuco - Wattpad

Starving For Help

Reads 6,551
Votes 115
Parts 22
Time 1h 1m

Reads 6,551
Votes 115
Parts 22
Time 1h 1m

Mature

anorexia anxiety bipolardisorder bulimia denial depression disorders drugs eatingdisorder fear guilt help lies life loneliness mentaldisorder pain reallife recovery relapse sadness secrets sick teen truestory

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help."


Welcome to Anorexia. 
Your hostess is Ana. 
She'll take over from here.

Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. 
It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. 
That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind.
Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.All Rights Reserved

anorexia anxiety bipolardisorder bulimia denial depression disorders drugs eatingdisorder fear guilt help lies life loneliness mentaldisorder pain reallife recovery relapse sadness secrets sick teen truestory

22 parts

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Ana taught me (N.H.au ) by Niallers_Rainbow

Today I met her , her name is Ana. She's pretty thin and beautiful. I'm friends with this girl Ana. I've start eating less, hating the person in the mirror my life become a mess. I'm scared of this girl Ana. I can't get her out of my head, it finally occured me that Ana wants me death My worst enemey is this girl called Ana. She's a demon in my head, She seemed sweet at first But I was so mislead. This is about Ana, She starve to grave , if you ever meet her you should be afraid. Ana shows no mercy. She'll take your life away, If you give any chance in your head She'll stay... ~*~ N.H. au maybe there's a bit of Niam but to find that out you better read it ;)

It was under control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~

Depression, anxiety, EDs, and other mental health issues. by Esperanza5404

This story is about depression disorders, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, personality disorders, other mental illnesses, self harm, suicide, bullying, and the stigma of mental illness. This book was written to help others and educate people. It is also written to let people know where/how they can get help. I put some of the links to the sites I used. I am NOT glorifying or romantizing any of this. This book is NOT used for diagnosis of any kind as I am not a mental health professional. So PLEASE DONT SELF DIAGNOSE YOURSELF WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS. This book contains sensitive content, so read at your own risk. #breakthestigmaofmentalillness

𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀 by beanzgetti4

Rita becomes strict with her eating, everyday the number of calories she eats gets lower and the amount of time she does cardio gets higher. She practices of managing her starvation by distracting it and never catches a break on the scale. Nobody is aware of it, it was something Rita doesn't want her friends or family to know, hiding her body from them didn't last long. Her mother noticed the dramatic weight change on her body. She tries to help her get back to her eating and tells her many times that she's "perfectly skinny" but nothing works. Her mother puts her foot down as Rita started to get ill, her mom takes her to a mental health hospital. She deals with consequences from her nurses and other patients.

The Twisted Mind by marvelousmayam

"I felt as if I didn't belong, And I felt as if i'm not sick enough" Alfie struggles with the concept of food. He loves it, he hates it and just wants to find peace with it and within himself. He wants to make up with his body, his mind but he's lost all control so he's finding it hard to live. Alfie Hailo, a 16 year old swimmer, has been struggling with food since the age of 13. His parents put him in dance class when he was 6 but he was getting bullied as he got older, so decided to quit and choose a more 'masculine' sport.His father also left the family home 2 years prior and has been struggling to understand why. He has amazing friends, and an amazing family who love and care for him dearly but, he doesn't feel this. He feels like he has to be perfect. With the pressure of school, and having to keep up to the social norms of a professional swimmer, it's hard for Alfie to concentrate. He needs the help. And to do this, Alvin helps. Alvin helps him find his worth, take control, and makes his life easier, or so he seems. His best friends, Killian and Ruby, know Alfie inside and out. They know his family life, school life. And this is because Alfie is a simple person. He has never had a detention, nor has he been expelled. He's a straight A student with no history of alcohol or drug abuse. Will they suspect anything? How will Alfie proceed with his excruciating pain. Will he cover it up or will he find the courage to speak up and seek help?

Ana by Wintersdancer

Life as a child was amazing. Your weight didn't matter. Your clothes didn't matter. Your parents money didn't matter. All that mattered was who you were going to play with, but that's all gone now. My sister hates me, my mom has no time for me, and my dad, well he left me. My life has been one whirlwind after another. Except I'm content with it, till it all comes crashing down. Every television, billboard, and magazine is covered with models. Models that are supposed to be role models, for us. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect life. I have none of those things. All my life I've never cared that I was over weight, and didn't wear makeup. Who knew a boy could change all of that? That's when I decided to starve myself, force myself to look like the girls in the magazines. Who knew all I was doing was slowly killing myself? Life likes to play games, except my game is called Ana and I don't think I will survive. (unedited) Cover by: MadHatter_25

healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein by FrancesShana

FINAL VERSION NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0846QJQ86?ref=knfdg_R_twm_yes No one's life is perfect--and mine is no different. On the outside, you might see me as a young woman that was raised in the most perfect life; both parents, an upper-middle-class home, a safe neighborhood. This is all true, yes, but the worst of my struggles were things that many people didn't see: my mental health. In this book, I share all my struggles with my eating disorder, anxiety, depression, and the things that go along with it. My goal in writing this is letting you know that you, the reader, are never alone. There are people like me that care about you, that understand how hard it can be. Hopefully this book with give you clarity about some things you've been dealing with, and maybe give you some peace of mind and directions on how to navigate through these hard times. Please, keep fighting. We need you. Much love!

Abigail by hmarieh1218

(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

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Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) by wonderland_smile

I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-

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Slide 1 of 10

Ana taught me (N.H.au ) cover

It was under control cover

Depression, anxiety, EDs, and other mental health issues. cover

The Twisted Mind cover

healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein cover

Falling Apart cover

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) cover

Ana taught me (N.H.au )

Today I met her , her name is Ana. She's pretty thin and beautiful. I'm friends with this girl Ana. I've start eating less, hating the person in the mirror my life become a mess. I'm scared of this girl Ana. I can't get her out of my head, it finally occured me that Ana wants me death My worst enemey is this girl called Ana. She's a demon in my head, She seemed sweet at first But I was so mislead. This is about Ana, She starve to grave , if you ever meet her you should be afraid. Ana shows no mercy. She'll take your life away, If you give any chance in your head She'll stay... ~*~ N.H. au maybe there's a bit of Niam but to find that out you better read it ;)