Starving For Help - Lauryn Love Bertuco - Wattpad

Starving For Help

Reads 6,415
Votes 107
Parts 22
Time 1h 1m

Reads 6,415
Votes 107
Parts 22
Time 1h 1m

Mature

anorexia anxiety bipolardisorder bulimia denial depression disorders drugs eatingdisorder fear guilt help lies life loneliness mentaldisorder pain reallife recovery relapse sadness secrets sick teen truestory

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help."


Welcome to Anorexia. 
Your hostess is Ana. 
She'll take over from here.

Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. 
It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. 
That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind.
Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.All Rights Reserved

anorexia anxiety bipolardisorder bulimia denial depression disorders drugs eatingdisorder fear guilt help lies life loneliness mentaldisorder pain reallife recovery relapse sadness secrets sick teen truestory

22 parts

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BARROW ME A SHELTER by Kymorgan

-Look at me! Look at my body and don't you dare to lie and say that is normal. People look at me like I was a disease, a contagious disease who gets attached to you, like a virus, travels through your body burns your hope, range shots your dreams, massacre your faith and your mental health. A virus that makes people gossip, whisper about everything. Your clothes size, your stretched skin, the amount of fat that you carry every where you go. You don't know what Is is like to live as I do. This virus eats me alive , makes me crave and urge for food , while I have my face buried in the toilet , throwing up , eating back, exercise and control. You can't love me, you can't love something like me, ans i know. It's a nightmare that crawls up my mind in pure day light. _____________________________________ He needed to met the next sunset in hopes he would starve to death or find the end of the road to a Clift, where his body could be found at the end of the tale that was written to be his life, however his tale couldn't end there, where his fears would be transported to the next life and hunt him for eternity.forced to find a placed after escaping death, at this new journey he found the healing his body, mind, soul needed, so did she.

Dear Ana, by IAMpandax

"I fell into darkness but I didn't mind, I liked it." Amy Adams thought everything was alright, but when she heard her very best friend Rose committed suicide, her world turned upside down. Amy couldn't understand, why? But Amy found Rose's diary at her wake and everything became clear. Rose was anorexic. Rose wrote about her two guardians Ana and Mia, they helped her, or something. Amy didn't understand a thing, but not for long. Because Amy would also meet her fate with the two angels of death. Just like Rose. Amy has a hard time fitting in after her only connection to a social life left her alone. Amy get's lost and tries to save herself. But how can you pull yourself out of a hole where you can't see the edge? Amy does make new friends and she even falls in love but everything is on the verge of falling apart. How does she plan on keeping her 'new habit' a secret? and when will Amy really understand?

Why We Laugh (#Wattys2018) by CarpeDiemWrite

"The laugh cracked loudly into the school's atrium, like a shot of a gun. A quick bullet. A deadly bullet the pierces through flesh and bone. I realized then... that a laugh was as lethal as a bullet." I thought bullying didn't exist. And if it did, I wasn't a bully. Except I was. We all were. Not because we beat kids up. Or we called people freaks. Or gave them swirlies. Because we never did that. It was because we laughed." For these three kids, a playful laugh cuts deeper than a fist ever would. And the worst part is...they laugh along. 1.Eliza hides behind the brightest smile and stuttered words. 2.Reece desires the perfect body and will destroy himself to do it. 3.Hunter is the bad boy with sick suicidal jokes, screwing both Prozac and girls. But it is more than just those three: 4.London sits in her wheelchair trying to be normal 5. Ashton needs to return to the surface of people and stop cowering in the digital world 6. Griffith hides his autistic emotions. The story is told by a girl who always laughs. Drama, love, pain, tears, laughter, depression, weaknesses. We all laugh. But what does our laugh truly effect? "Hands down this is the best book I've read on wattpad. I don't even know what to say. I mean... I just.... Wow." -Irxdeo This book deals with heavy topics such as depression, suicide, eating disorders, abuse, so read carefully. I want to say some of these characters and scenes in the beginning are based on real people and real events, but some are not. Hi, guys! Thanks for checking this story out. Remember be brave and kind.

4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me by Sweet_Cinnamon17

I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my pain into strength. Desperately wanting to carve up my skin, I bled on a page. My screams are silent, hidden behind closed doors, And computer screens. All these horrible emotions kept secret in notebooks. I'm too afraid to speak about it, so I write it down That's how my poetry is made. ~The birth of poetry -Me ____ First place in 2021 Irenic Awards poetry catergory Highest rankings: #16 original work #2 relapsing

Family Comes First by CRAZY40429

Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) by wonderland_smile

I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-

Depression, anxiety, EDs, and other mental health issues. by Esperanza5404

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It was under control by myrealnameisasecret

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Abigail by hmarieh1218

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I've Got It Under Control by myrealnameisasecret

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Slide 1 of 10

BARROW ME A SHELTER cover

Dear Ana, cover

Why We Laugh (#Wattys2018) cover

4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me cover

Family Comes First cover

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) cover

Depression, anxiety, EDs, and other mental health issues. cover

It was under control cover

I've Got It Under Control cover

BARROW ME A SHELTER

-Look at me! Look at my body and don't you dare to lie and say that is normal. People look at me like I was a disease, a contagious disease who gets attached to you, like a virus, travels through your body burns your hope, range shots your dreams, massacre your faith and your mental health. A virus that makes people gossip, whisper about everything. Your clothes size, your stretched skin, the amount of fat that you carry every where you go. You don't know what Is is like to live as I do. This virus eats me alive , makes me crave and urge for food , while I have my face buried in the toilet , throwing up , eating back, exercise and control. You can't love me, you can't love something like me, ans i know. It's a nightmare that crawls up my mind in pure day light. _____________________________________ He needed to met the next sunset in hopes he would starve to death or find the end of the road to a Clift, where his body could be found at the end of the tale that was written to be his life, however his tale couldn't end there, where his fears would be transported to the next life and hunt him for eternity.forced to find a placed after escaping death, at this new journey he found the healing his body, mind, soul needed, so did she.