"You got two black eyes from loving too hard
And a black car that matches your blackest soul
I wouldn't change ya, oh oh
Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no
The neon coast was your sign
And the Midwest wind with Pisces rising
Wouldn't change ya, oh oh
Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no
Static palms melt your vibe
Midnight whisperings
The black magic of Mulholland Drive
Swimming pools under desert skies
Drinking white wine in the blushing light
Just another LA Devotee
Sunsets on the evil eye
Invisible to the Hollywood shrine
Always on the hunt for a little more time
Just another LA Devotee
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another LA Devotee
You got bleached out eyes from the valley sand
And the black tar palms keep weeping your name
I couldn't change ya, oh oh
Couldn't ever try to make you see, no
The high rise lights read your rights
And a downtown storm with Aries rising
Couldn't change ya, oh oh
Couldn't ever try to make you see, no
Static palms melt your vibe
Midnight whisperings
The black magic of Mulholland Drive
Swimming pools under desert skies
Drinking white wine in the blushing light
Just another LA Devotee
Sunsets on the evil eye
Invisible to the Hollywood shrine
Always on the hunt for a little more time
Just another LA Devotee
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another LA Devotee
LA Devotee
LA Devotee
LA Devotee
LA Devotee
The black magic of Mulholland Drive
Swimming pools under desert skies
Drinking white wine in the blushing light
Just another LA Devotee
Sunsets on the evil eye
Invisible to the Hollywood shrine
Always on the hunt for a little more time
Just another LA Devotee
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another LA Devotee"
- Panic! At The Disco
He thought he loved her.
But in his world, love meant waiting. Watching. Wanting.
Mudassir has always been haunted-by his father's control, by years of silence, and by the memory of a girl from university who never knew him more than just an acquaintance. Post-graduation, still trapped in emotional ruin, he finds her again... but not the way he hoped.
She's changed. She's moved on. She's engaged. But not him.
To him, if it runs-it means chase.
As obsession festers, therapy rooms turn into battlegrounds. Kindness is mistaken for invitation. And the line between affection and control begins to disappear. When the past claws its way back into the present, what can truly be salvaged-and what was never real to begin with?
This isn't a typical love story, but a descent of obsession, projection, and the danger of trying to fit someone into the shape of your wounds.
He didn't just fall in love with her.
He built a life around wanting her.
...
In the book cover, that's me lol and is made and photographed by me.
...
⚠️ Trigger Warning:
This story contains depictions of mental illness (depression, anxiety, OCD, narcissistic traits), suicidal ideation, emotional abuse, death threats, substance use, and toxic family dynamics.
Reader discretion is strongly advised. If you're struggling, know that help exists, and you are not alone. ❤️