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Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Wed, Jan 6, 2016
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I feel lost in my own body I hear stuff I see stuff I need help (but to my parents I am fine) how may times have you told a parent or guardian u are okay when feeling alone lost scared and angry all at the same time ??? I was bullied in primary school for being fat and when i got to high school it got wore by a child I had knew all my life calling me names over the phone texting me horrible messages but then I left that horrible place and came to my group friends now who I trust and I feel like I can share things that I have never shared before they might be :
Crazy
Wired
Have problems
Need help
But they are there for me when I need them if I didn't have these friends I don't think I would be here today I do not have a skinny body but I like the way I am and if people can't say something nice then they don't have to say it at all. I have not been diagnosed with depression but Idefinaly feel
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"Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Are you sad?" "Everything will be okay". Honestly, I'm not okay, what's wrong? Everything! And why am I sad? Because I can't handle anything anymore and NOTHING will be okay. I don't know why I always need to lie to everyone about me, it's not like they could understand anyways. Who's been by my side? Well people obviously, but none of them can know what I think! How I feel! How could they anyways, it's not like my life is a book that people can just read and understand... Who am I? An emotional girl who is exaggerating right now? Haha! NO. I'm actually Anne, and I'm fourteen. I guess that I'm a social teen, always looking happy and approchable. Well not lately...But you'll get to that part at some point. I'm an "average teen" like some people say. Well I honestly don't know. I'm always tired, depressed stressed, but some say that that's normal. Of course because my life isn't complicated at all...Maybe I imagine things? All these years and I've always kept things inside, of course I have friends, but they can't hear my thoughts and know everything in my pathetic life. So that's why I've decided "Well why not write in a diary? Maybe it will help? Or something" I have no idea if it actually helps, but it might...At least it's something I can open up to. To talk about my suicidal thoughts, my depression, my self-harm issues and my eating disorder... On that note.... Bye.... Fml :) Anne
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