Day Dreamer

Here I am, standing at the edge of life and death and I'm too scared to fall either way. I stand on the edge of the roof, with my toes hanging off the edge and watch the traffic speed by. They're all completely unaware to what I'm about to do.
One step and it all will end.
One step to end the pain.
One step and I will be gone.
Dead.
But there's one thing holding me back.. "Dominick." I whisper so quietly I could barely hear it. Just hearing his name makes me catch my breath. I shut my eyes lightly and think of all the memories I have with him.
The time we danced in the rain
The time he taught me how to skateboard.
The first time we got drunk.
The time he taught me how to play pool.
The time we went swimming and we feel into the pool.

He's the thing holding me back, but he's also the thing pushing me over the edge. I feel my heart skip a beat at the thought of him and I break down into hysterical tears as I fall to my knees on the edge of the roof. Everything about him makes my heart ache, and I cant have it. The wind blows through my hair as I storm starts to roll into the city. I'm crying so hard I don't notice a few people looking up at me. I pull out a bottle of pills from the pocket of my jacket and start unscrewing the lid with shaker fingers. By now the people are pointing as I swallow one pill with a swig of vodka, I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel a burn stream down my throat. I pour the rest of the pills into my hand and throw them far into the city, I drink the last of the vodka and walk away from the ledge.
"I'm in a battle with myself, and right now I'm losing." I say quietly to myself as the cold rain hits my face.