Justice, innocence
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There comes a time in your life where you realise how many people are not worthy of your time . You realise that there are a lot of people that don't care about you, that don't want to know you,that don't love you. As kids we think everything is all happy and airy fairy when in fact it's the total opposite. Heart ache after heart ache. Problem after problem. Tear after tear. That won't matter for them though because they are happy and as long as they are happy, everyone is happy ! It's all about 'I', never about 'you', 'she', 'he' or 'they'. You realise that all you really want to do is close your eyes and switch off the pain. To be oblivious to your surroundings. To not hear the echo of their voices criticising you, badmouthing you. You'd rather sleep in your own comfort than party with them. When pyjamas become better than dresses and make up is a no. The knot in your stomach tightens and as the scales get smaller, your clothes get bigger/looser. That's how it is. Then they'll ask why the eye bags are showing and the face is long. The whispers will always be there for thats how they are. They'll always be there watching you fall. No, not to catch you, but in fact to laugh, to dramatise.
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I felt his body close to mine, I knew it was him because my body awoken in way it hasn't before. Not since I met him. I turned around, my back leaning against the fridge door. We were so close, I watch his eyes travel up and down my body before he locks his lips quickly before meeting my eye. "fez" I whispered when our lips were inches apart, his body left mine suddenly and I watch as he walks towards the door. I frown as I watch him lean up grabbing the shutters to pull them down. "fez you have a business to run" I spoke out, unsure of what is actually happening. I know what I want to happen, what I dream would happen. But I've always been a dreamer. "I have a big problem-" I heard his voice ring out, as the shutters hit the ground then he locked the door. He turned around to look at me, his eyes were darker. He looked a thousand times hotter. "a big fucking problem" he said again as he started making his way towards me, his hand come up and knocked on the fridge door. After a moment I heard the door out the back open and close, ashtray had left. "what's the problem? Maybe I-I can help" I felt so many emotions right now, some I'm used to and some that are fucking new. "I doubt that-" he mumbles as he was once again infront of me, one hand was above my head leaning on the fridge door. The other came down to touch my face. "I can't get you out my fucking head, your like a drug" he suddenly said before his hands go to my waist and he pulls my body against his before slamming his lips into mine. ~~~ Nothing in life was easy, including life itself but when you find someone who makes it easier nothing else matters. I mean, just as long as he stands by me. Rates #1 in lexi (20th April 2022)
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