How To Humour The Sexy Un-dead - TheWerePanda - Wattpad

Story cover for How To Humour The Sexy Un-dead by TheWerePanda

How To Humour The Sexy Un-dead

Reads 653
Votes 12
Parts 1
Time 5m

Reads 653
Votes 12
Parts 1
Time 5m

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WANT SOMETHING ORIGINAL? FUNNY? THAT HOLDS SUPER SEXY, COCKY ZOMBIES? REALLY HOT GUYS? A FUNNY GIRL? PROTECTIVE DAD? READ THIS! 

“Welcome to the year 2012. Yeah the world hasn’t ended, who didn’t see that one coming? Seriously though, who didn’t? Well while everyone was gripping their loved ones, kicking out their pets and having a last day parade with no condoms and no underwear, on that uneventful day. I ran outside in my underwear, and screamed I’m alive. Okay I’m actually under exaggerating, I ran out in my underwear, and started swearing and yelling through a megaphone, stolen . . . I mean borrowed from the chief of police, my father, telling my neighbors their wimps and shouldn’t believe science for a bottom dollar. I got house arrest. . .”

Now you’re probably thinking who is that? Yeah, well that’s Seth Wove–weird name I know. Something about her mother wanting a boy, she’s a crazy lady. 
Any who, Seth, the girl, is a little –over the top; she’s loud, clumsy, uncoordinated and humourous, oh and misunderstood! .

As Seth explained, she ran out and got house arrest. You’d never thought it was good luck to have been . . . but it was. The world didn’t end, but maybe Seth should have wished the scientists were right. ‘Cause the undead is about to take over. Smarter, sexier, faster and stronger; and the hero's . . . can I say drool worthy? Yes. this my friend is no cliché. This is original. 

Oh Maybe Seth should just dance to Thriller?

This is: How To Humour The Sexy Un-deadAll Rights Reserved

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How To Humour The Sexy Un-dead
Tue, Sep 27, 2011

1 part

How To Humour The Sexy Un-dead
Tue, Sep 27, 2011

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SEVEN DAYS by Estyshawl

"What colour of panties are you wearing?" "Excuse me?" She countered "I won't repeat the question again" "Red. They're red" she swallowed "Reach below your gown. Pull it. And hand it over to me" "Why would you want it? It's just a piece of material" she faltered. "They're yours. I want it simply because they're yours. You're aroused. So they're wet. They're going to be soaked with your juices. The very essence of you. I'm going to sniff it, lick it, all the while imagining that it's you, torturing myself until Saturday. The day I fuck you" ~♦||•♦•||♦~ In this erotic romance, Raven Edens is forced to accept an offer, to save her family's life. She's been a good girl her whole life, always took responsibility, always did what was right. Until the day she finds out, her father sold her family to the devil. literally. And she's the one who has to pay. These men were rich, ruthless, and fucking dangerous. If they wanted, they could make her entire family disappear from the face of the Earth. And to pay off her family's debts, she must give herself to the master, for 7 days, for he and the whole bloody organization to do whatever they wanted with her. seemed a small price to pay, for the billions her father owed right? but does she come out of this, the same? 7 days of the utimate sins. carnality was welcomed. Nothing was shunned out. Every fantasy, every desire was fed, explored, and she was the meal. RAVEN EDENS: "7 days of the utmost sins. I'm terrified! I'm surrendering to the unknown. I've never done that before. I exist on control. And to unleash that to someone else, is devastating. I'm afraid my body's going to shatter, or war and say it has needs. I'm afraid I can't keep my body in a tight leash, and under control, after this. One thing's sure though. I'm never going to remain the same again. WARNING: MATURE CONTENT! & EXPLICIT SEX SCENES! (Also, there may be lots of swearing, sexual coercion & public sexual displays!)

Andilynn by DanixllxHuntxr

🍧~ Welcome to Cricket, a small town in the middle of a desert, where everyone knew each other and no one had to worry about locking their doors at night. Every day here was the same, and Andilynn was getting bored of it. Meet Andilynn, a sixteen year old red-headed weirdo who now lived here because she technically killed her mom. It was an accident of course...Andilynn is a sweetheart. It's just she was born with Schizophrenia, a mental sickness that causes her to hear voices, have hallucinations, and fun things like that. Cricket was boring, and she wanted to leave, but when she tried, everything would go black, and the day would restart. Yes, restart. The first time the day had restarted, Andie woke up in her bedroom. She ran downstairs, nearly tripping over her own feet. Belle, Andie's grandmother greeted, "Happy Friday, dear." "Friday? N-n-n-n-no, we've already been through Friday." "Thursday was yesterday, dear." "But I-I just woke up on a Friday morning, like two hours ago." "Andie, we've talked to you about skipping taking your pills." And then the hallucinations would get worse. They were so realistic Andie could never tell reality apart from illusion. Andie thought leaving town would set her free from her past, sleeping with her friend's boyfriend, getting arrested, fighting with her dad. She had to find a way, but for some reason, life didn't want her to leave.

The Bad Boy Saw Me Naked by xXAnnaVioletXx

"Let's make a deal." He offers. There is no way in hell that I will make a deal with the devil himself. "I--" but before I could say anything else he pushed me against the side of his car, "I won't show the video of you dancing around your room naked if, you agreed to be my fake girlfriend." Saying that I was shocked was an understatement. He wants to make me his fake girlfriend? Why Me? "Excuse me?" I ask, attempting to push him away. "You heard me. I want you to be my fake girlfriend." He said as his lips smashed into mine. Before I could do anything he pulled away. He walked to the driver's side of his car. He looked back at me and winked. "Think about it." He smirked. ***** Reed Summers is the type of girl you walk past in school. The girl you never notice. The girl who prefers reading fictional books in her room every night rather than being out partying like her two Best friends. She prefers to listen to bands than listen to crappy music by Justin Bieber. She's the girl who would rather watch YouTubers all day rather than be out shopping with her friends. And she would like to keep it that way. It's Reed's last year of high school or in her words her last year of hell. Nobody really noticed her, well, except for her two best friends and boyfriend and she is planning on keeping it that way. But then her new neighbor A.K.A Mr. Bad Boy sees her dancing in her room butt naked. That's not even the worst part, the worst part is that he actually "recorded" everything. Throw in some jealous ex-girlfriends, some typical high school queen bees, pizzas, coffee, blackmailing, a lot of food, a youtube marathon, anxiety attacks and what have you got? Complete and utter chaos. And how did this happen, if you may ask? Because The Bad Boy Saw Me Naked.

Bound To Be by thee_arielle

Trigger warning for the following: -mature content -some strong language -fighting -mentions of abuse Everything was cool. It was fine and normal until, a new family moves I'm next door. The beautiful family seemed normal enough, but something was off. Their son didn't fit into the rest of them. He was mysterious and seemed a little bit standoffish. He seemed rude and like he didn't belong. Meeting him went well, and she catches his eye. Going to school together and their families spending some time together causes them to grow closer. So close that things happen. What happens? Do sparks fly?

Violet's Delight by lyazar

"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22

What Game Will You Play by Bri-Bunny225

The New World has been the last peaceful and resourceful country for nearly two hundred years. Or at least that's what they say. Samantha Ivory has been living a boring average life in an old town with lots of history. That is, until the news of a carnival coming to town ignites new excitement. This carnival promises a night of fun for everyone. There are games, promising rewards, and food that no one has ever seen or tasted before. But what if this carnival isn't what it seems to be? And who are these people that have come into her town? Can Sam figure it out before it's too late, or will she get stuck playing a game she never wanted to play? (Currently completed as of October 2023, and finished editing as of March 2024) *****Excerpt***** Excerpt: Instead of seeing myself standing in front of me, there is somebody else and it's not my brother or anyone I know. A boy no older than me is just standing there, he is wearing a gray shirt with a hole in the shoulder and it has a handful of stains and dirt spots on it. I immediately know he is not from Treegrass. Not only have I never seen him before in my life but everyone in our town always wears nice clean and washed clothes, therefore nobody should be looking like him. The boy has a small cut on his cheek and is thin, a lot thinner than he should be. I look away from him and around at my surroundings, there is no one else here. I regain my composure and look at him again. That's when he says something that makes my blood run cold. "Run."

The Slut and The Dork |✓ by SamiRae53

COMPLETED "You are pretty dumb for a dork," I laugh as Justin hangs his head down in defeat, "Let me show you" I fiddle around with the displaced parts until it clicks together and the record player starts playing again, "See it's supposed to do that!" "You are pretty smart for a slut." He says back with a laugh but, I can see on his face he instantly regrets it. My mouth is hanging open, in complete shock, when he continues "I'm sorry I didn't mean it-" "No, stop," I say with a slight laugh and then for some reason it grows to a full-blown fit of laughter, "No. one. has. ever. called. me. that. to. My. face" I manage to get out through my small, continuing fits of laughter. "You aren't mad at me?" "No, it's not like that an unknown fact," I saw with a smile, "I'm actually surprised you had the balls to say it." "I don't think you are a slut," He says, his cheeks getting a little flushed. In my most breathy, husky voice, I answer, "are you sure, Justin? I know you have thought about the things I would let you do to me if I would just get naked in front of you." As I start to pull off the sweater that is covering the small tank top that's under it. His face flushes a deeper color of red and I can't help but, giggle a little. "Don't worry Justin, I won't get naked unless you ask." Justin and Blythe are basically polar opposites from each other but, because of one class, they find themselves having to learn everything they can about each other. Where will this story take them? Will they become friends or enemies? Will they pass the class and the ultimate test? Continue on reading to find out!

Trying Not To Love (COMPLETED) by Books_and_nerds

I stepped forward and asked, "Where do you want me?" It took me a second to realize what I just said. Shit! I placed a hand on my crimson face and muttered, "Get your head out of the gutter! You know what I meant." He laughed, his voice sounded hoarse and deep even when he's laughing. I peeked at him from the gap I made between my fingers. He was close. So close. He grabbed my hand and took me to the bed. Damn! It did sound sexy. His shirt was loose. Too large for me, and it hung on me like a cloth hung on a hanger. He sat on the bed, criss crossed and pulled me to him. ♡♡♡♡♡ The thing about love is... its unpredictable. Even when you don't want love, it just happens. Cassandra is your typical anti-social tomboy where Easton is your black leather jacket high school bad boy. Cassandra and her siblings arrive at Brinkley mansion hoping the year to get by quickly so they can be back with their dad. But then they meet Easton who has a different plan for them. The to-be sole heir of Brinkley Inc., rude, party lover, filled with nothing but rage for the invaders in his house, becomes determined to bring the truth out to world about his father by making the lives of Cassandra and her siblings living hell. Cassandra is not supposed to fall in love with someone like Easton who not only doesn't want her here but also isn't even available. Join these two teens in their journey to find what's right kind of love, or is there even a righteousness to love? ☆ Copyright 2020 @Books_and_nerds (DestinyK.) ADDED TO THE "LOVE, ACTUALLY" READING LIST BY YOUNG ADULT ON WATTPAD! _________ ☆ I DO NOT OWN THE BOOK IMAGE OR ANY OF THE PICTURES IN THIS BOOK. -THANK YOU ☆ I DID MAKE THE BOOK COVER MYSELF (THANKS TO CANVA) ☆ DO NOT copy my hard work. The rules just became more strict and WATTPAD polices are very clear about it.

Dare or Dare? | COMPLETED by leilaaadams

"We said whoever eats the most pizza has to do the dare no matter how cruel or easy it is." This is just a glimpse of our sleepovers. Ivy and Autumn always drag me into some kind of trap to do their evil dares. Tonight, they used my worst weakness, food. Sighing, "fine. I'll take the dare." They cheered and high-fived as I stood in front of them, glaring. "Better not be something bad!" I blurted, making them snap out of their cheering. They looked at me with a sinister smirk. The smirk where you know their up to something. Something bad. - Meet Jade Williams. Your average girl in every single way. She uses her weekends to binge watch on Netflix and takes her time binge snacking. In no way she would be considered perfect. Yes, sometimes she is picked on every now and then but nothing to extreme. Well despite the fact she has a crush on the most unexpected person. Bryan Jones, the schools bad-boy. He's basically a emotionless, fit brick dressed up in leather. Just your typical bad boy, right? Her life changes from late nights on Netflix to possibly going out to parties because of two guys. Conner Peterson and Bryan Jones. The most anyone can do to keep her out of trouble is to pray. Not to mention the fact that her two dearest friends are two living and breathing dare making machines. How is Jade going to make it out of her senior year alive? - -January 13th 2017- -January 29th 2017- #14 on Rising Teen Fiction -February 13th 2017- 10K Reads -February 14th 2017- #163 in TF -February 22nd 2017- #136 in TF -January 1st 2018 - 100K READS! PSA: this book, to say the very least, is not my proudest work. i made this when i didn't know a thing about writing, let alone writing a whole story. it's simply a book you'd read if you wanted a quick sap and not something in depth. feel free to check out my other books - they're arguably way better than this one

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Slide 1 of 9

SEVEN DAYS cover

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Violet's Delight cover

What Game Will You Play cover

The Slut and The Dork |✓ cover

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SEVEN DAYS

"What colour of panties are you wearing?" "Excuse me?" She countered "I won't repeat the question again" "Red. They're red" she swallowed "Reach below your gown. Pull it. And hand it over to me" "Why would you want it? It's just a piece of material" she faltered. "They're yours. I want it simply because they're yours. You're aroused. So they're wet. They're going to be soaked with your juices. The very essence of you. I'm going to sniff it, lick it, all the while imagining that it's you, torturing myself until Saturday. The day I fuck you" ~♦||•♦•||♦~ In this erotic romance, Raven Edens is forced to accept an offer, to save her family's life. She's been a good girl her whole life, always took responsibility, always did what was right. Until the day she finds out, her father sold her family to the devil. literally. And she's the one who has to pay. These men were rich, ruthless, and fucking dangerous. If they wanted, they could make her entire family disappear from the face of the Earth. And to pay off her family's debts, she must give herself to the master, for 7 days, for he and the whole bloody organization to do whatever they wanted with her. seemed a small price to pay, for the billions her father owed right? but does she come out of this, the same? 7 days of the utimate sins. carnality was welcomed. Nothing was shunned out. Every fantasy, every desire was fed, explored, and she was the meal. RAVEN EDENS: "7 days of the utmost sins. I'm terrified! I'm surrendering to the unknown. I've never done that before. I exist on control. And to unleash that to someone else, is devastating. I'm afraid my body's going to shatter, or war and say it has needs. I'm afraid I can't keep my body in a tight leash, and under control, after this. One thing's sure though. I'm never going to remain the same again. WARNING: MATURE CONTENT! & EXPLICIT SEX SCENES! (Also, there may be lots of swearing, sexual coercion & public sexual displays!)