My father sent me to Hell

Jesus is going down a path of delinquent behaviour, leading to the nickname "Judas". His father has had just about enough of Jesus' juvenile behaviour and decides he will learn his lesson the hard way - a week in Hell with his cousin, Lucifer, whom Jesus has bonded well with, over time.

Jesus thinks he has it easy. He thinks he will be chilling with his favourite cousin for a week then going back to Heaven, like the sentence his father set meant absolutely nothing. But when his father gets wind of Jesus' recent player ways, with some of the angels of Heaven, he increases the sentence to indefinite, until a time he should meet a nice girl and settle down.

"Come on, Son," my father pleaded, desperately "Please just find yourself a nice girl and settle down, will you?"

"Haven't you heard? There are no nice girls!" I retorted, a smirk making its way onto my face.

"Then find one more suited to your current ways, my son." My father sighed in defeat, speaking to me not as The Almighty God but, for once, as my father. "Find the one who will help redeem your soul of the darkness that lies beneath." Aaaaand we're back to God Almighty, again. "Until then, your stay in Hell is increased to indefinite."

"Hope I meet them in hell." I sneered, quickly erasing all signs of anger from my voice, replacing it with amusement "And I hope they do anal."

Note:
The names and places in this book are based on the Bible but the book itself is very loosely based on it. It is a depiction of what I believe would happen if Jesus was a complete Badass. If you do not like foul language, graphic scenes, or Biblical redipictions then PISS OFF and don't bother reading this book