I Need To Change

I Need To Change

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Tue, Sep 10, 201922h 35m
I was young, open with a passion for music. I grinded day and night for what I had a passion for, pushing myself when I felt like I couldn't go no more. If I would've just stayed so focused on my music, I wouldn't have got so fucked over in the end. I wouldn't have felt so broken. But no. My dumbass went and got mixed in with the industry. The rumors, fans, drama, love and these niggas. I've been broken down before and I thought there was no way in hell I could be broken down like that again. But I played myself. I allowed so many niggas come in and take advantage of me. Have a power over me and treat me like the scum on the bottom of their shoe. I became so naive and dumb, allowing them to make a fool out of me. Allowing them to play me like a dumbass. If I knew half of this shit would happen, I wouldn't have associated myself with certain people and I wouldn't have got hurt in the end. I wouldn't be so broken in the end.
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Every girl has 'that' crush. You know what I'm talking about. The one boy who's the first thought on your mind when you wake up, and the last thought before you go to sleep. The one you carefully select your clothes for, don your best makeup, and style your hair perfectly for. I had 'that' crush. Brock was hot; he was sexy and alpha, with dark smoldering eyes and tattoos that littered his rock-hard body. My poor seventeen-year-old heart had no clue how to handle it, because my badass crush wasn't a boy. He was a man; a nightclub owning married man, who also happened to be my best friend's stepdad. I wasn't the only one who was crushing on Emma's stepdad. He knew it too, but the best part about Brock was that he looked like a badass, he acted like a badass, but he treated every single teenage girl in his home with the utmost respect. He had plenty of admirers, but Emma hated anyone who flaunted their shit in front of him. He'd taken her dad's place. He'd moved in not two months after she'd lost him and had tried to 'parent' her. We hated him together; but secretly I adored him. I spent almost three years in a hoodie, scowling at the hottest man in L.A. The day he left Emma's mom was the happiest and saddest day of my life. If you're going to lose your crush, though, ripping it off like a band-aid is the best way to do it. One day he was there and the next he was gone. And now, seven years later, I'm about to walk into his nightclub and audition for him. He's not the man I remember. He's sexier, more intense, and has connections that are not exactly as wholesome as I assumed. But that only makes me want him more....

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