Story cover for Caleb' Death  (Christian WakeUp Call) by 1LampsnowChristian
Caleb' Death (Christian WakeUp Call)
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    Reads 15
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    Votes 2
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    Parts 1
  • WpHistory
    Time <5 mins
Complete, First published Jan 12, 2016
Kneeling here before You
My heart cries out in agony simply pleading you to heal the wound inside of me.
 
 for this overwhelming pain shackles me in deep despair, comforting lies whispered in vain and hidden meanings fill the air. 
 
 Oh Lord, why did I not act?! Why did I let damning silence ring? why did I keep for me, the truth that didn't lock, condemning him to eternal suffering?
 
 why was I afraid of awkward situations? Why did I care what others thought? he could have had a wonderful transformation, is his soul, Jesus.. enter enter 
 
 yes, I know that his salvation was never my responsibility. For me, with Jesus, there's no condemnation, just abounding grace which sets me free.
 
 all the same, I need bravery. I don't want any more regrets. Jesus rescue me from this insanity! But never let me forget... e never let me forget that everyone is a soul, searching for the meaning of life. Never let me forget that you want to make them full. Piercing through their desperation like a
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I once loved this boy, the feelings were intoxicating. It took over. I was being tortured by this unrequited love I felt for almost two years. This is my journey of figuring out how to live with it. "Summary": Hurt me, beat me, with the violence of words, and I will explode But maybe it hurts for a reason I want to hurt him I am me because of him Maybe I need the pain to live The only thing I know is that I'm dying Now I have to live with the consequences of the things he did(n't) do He'll hurt me no matter what he does Maybe hell and heaven are the same thing, but I choose to die his way We would be perfectly flawed and unperfectly flawless together, if only he could love me once But darling, I have a fear of falling apart This is a cry for help I'm crashing Fight for me, fight against me, fight against him But isn't it fear that keeps me alive also? I don't hurt anymore I am in so much pain I am a disaster waiting to happen I'm not afraid to die A lot of love to give, and no love gotten I love the things that kill me, and kill the things that love me It hurts to love him, but you can love someone without loving yourself, in that destructive kind of way