Hold And Let Go
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- Parts 2
Ongoing5m
Last published Sat, Jan 28, 2017
"I'm sorry, but I don't get it. If we're supposed to ignore everything that's wrong with our lives, then I can't see how we'll ever make things right."
― A.S. King, Please Ignore Vera Dietz
"...And as we drove away, I could see the sky and it looked bluer than I had ever know. Like I was seeing everything for the first time. Colors, sounds, who I was, but I couldn't get that feeling again. I looked at the sky and the grass and the college buildings, but the moment was gone, and so was I."
"This wasn't something I signed up to do. I didn't promise or give my word or swear it. I didn't do anything to deserve this. Nothing. But I got it anyway. I got all the shit that you shove to the back of your mind to forget. I got all the shit that holds me by the throat. I got all the shit that no one ever wants, that no one ever deserves, all the shit that makes you feel like you're drowning except your head is above the water and you're breathing just fine."
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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