building ladders.
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MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Jan 16, 2016
for his whole lifetime, eighteen year old dan howell struggled to find the importance in life. stuck in a constant existential crisis, the teenager lived on a day to day basis without any conspicuous objectives. until, twenty-two year old phil lester entered the picture.
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Just by Chance- Phan AU
Dan is that kid. The popular boy that every girl swoons over, that everyone wants to be friends with, the boy that's a complete jerk to anyone lower on the totem pole. But deep down, he's just trying to hide and ignore his own secret- that he's gay. Phil is Dan's usual target. Openly gay, awkward, and nerdy, he seems to be easily bullied. He's always too afraid to say anything and would rather stay in the background and get through high school and go to university. When Dan's grades slip 🔚 he needs to bring them up or else repeat his senior year, Phil is assigned to tutor Dan. It seems to be a terrible coincidence that the two are brought together, but it's so much more. Thank you @tissuesfortheissues for this amazing cover Highest ranking: 450 in fanfiction Mentions of self harm and suicideComplete
Nothing Lasts Forever (Phan)
Now in London, Dan and Phil are bigger than ever. They have their own radio show, millions of subscribers and get asked to playlist live, vid con along with other events. The only thing they don't have, is everything a normal 20-30 year old is starting to get. A stable relationship, a house, a car, a family... Not to mention the pressure from the fandom about 'Phan' is coming to a boil, things are falling apart at home for Phil, and Dan is struggling to cope with a sudden revelation he uncovered in the midst of an existential crisis. Forever only lasts, in never.Complete
psychedelia | phan
Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.Complete
A day in the clouds
Dan Howell suffers from schizophrenia. The voices in his head tell him to do horrible things to himself and others, but the only thing grounding him to earth is the clouds in the sky. Phil Lester has sever depression and is struggling to keep going each day. All his life he had been a mer shell of a man. When they meet one day by fate, how will it all play out?Complete
Catfish | phan
[complete] Seventeen-year-old Dan Howell never expected he'd meet the man of his dreams in an online chatroom. Six months later, he'd also never expected they'd end up coincidentally rooming together in a vacation house. This wouldn't have been too bad if Dan had actually told Phil the truth about his identity, not that his name was "Blake". Now, he's stuck on a week long holiday with an Internet crush who has no idea who he really is. - *note: original plot idea belongs to ButterFish; i take no creditComplete
My Blood, Your Bones - Phan
Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)Complete
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Forget What We Saw
Sixteen-year-old Phil Lester is a normal teenager until he meets one mysterious boy that changes his life forever.Complete
Speak up already - Phan
Phil doesn't talks. Well, not anymore. The last time he said something, was when he didn't hate himself. And that was a long time ago. But now, everything is different. He must struggle with depression, whilst new boy Dan Howell desperately attempts to win him over. [Warning: this could be triggering at some points]Complete
If I Knew Then (Phan)
**Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Abuse, Alcoholism** Dan Howell and Phil Lester never got along. Mostly because Dan took out his horrid home life on the people at school and Phil happened to be an easy target. But when things take a turn for the worse in both of their lives, they're forced to get to know each other better and discover things about themselves they never guessed.Complete
Dan is that kid. The popular boy that every girl swoons over, that everyone wants to be friends with, the boy that's a complete jerk to anyone lower on the totem pole. But deep down, he's just trying to hide and ignore his own secret- that he's gay. Phil is Dan's usual target. Openly gay, awkward, and nerdy, he seems to be easily bullied. He's always too afraid to say anything and would rather stay in the background and get through high school and go to university. When Dan's grades slip 🔚 he needs to bring them up or else repeat his senior year, Phil is assigned to tutor Dan. It seems to be a terrible coincidence that the two are brought together, but it's so much more. Thank you @tissuesfortheissues for this amazing cover Highest ranking: 450 in fanfiction Mentions of self harm and suicide
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