Everyone's Out To Get Me - Gray - Wattpad

Story cover for Everyone's Out To Get Me by casifersthrone

Everyone's Out To Get Me

Reads 297
Votes 18
Parts 12
Time 1h 2m

Reads 297
Votes 18
Parts 12
Time 1h 2m

Mature

{INCOMPLETE} (A/N I AM NOT COPYING @souleaterstories BECAUSE I AM HER, MY EMAIL GOT DELETED SO I CANT LOG IN. TRIGGER WARNING THROUGH OUT THE STORY ALSO SOME MATURE CONTENT! THERE IS ALSO SWEARING/ADULT LANGUAGE)
I, Benjamin Godin, am flight. I am fear. I am anxiety, terror, panic. 
Feel the fucking pain and anguish pouring over me
Am I insane or am I drowning in the agony
I once was fine it's not alright it's getting hard to think
Am I insane or am I drowning in the agony
Am I alive or just breathing
Cast like a stone out to sea
I'm sinking
Buried my lies and my secrets
Down where the world never sees
My demons
And I swear it never had to end
Like this
If I could just pretend
I'm not those things that you resent
My friends
Just leave me here for dead
Cause I'm left with nothing
But self destruction
Stare down the cliff to my decent
Into the deep end
Am I distraught in deceiving
Sick thoughts that hang over me
With meaning
Feel the fucking pain and anguish pouring over me
Am I insane or am I drowning in the agony
I once was fine it's not alright it's getting hard to think
Am I insane or am I drowning in the agony
And I swear it never had to end
Like this
If I could just pretend
I'm not those things that you resent
My friends
Just leave me here for dead
Cause I'm left with nothing
But self destruction
Stare down the cliff to my decent
Into the deep end
The monsters under my bed won't seem to leave me alone
They sleep inside of my head
Deceive to leave but they won't
And I swear it never had to end
Like this
If I could just pretend
I'm not those things that you resent
My friends
Just leave me here for dead
Cause I'm left with nothing
But self destruction
Stare down the cliff to my decent
Into the deep end
Into the deep endAll Rights Reserved

Table of contents

12 parts

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Release by FeelMyBreath

This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.

Tethered by Gray-love

Bright lights, the beat of the music beneath my feet. Distant chatter, quite whispers. The feeling of joy, loss, heartbreak, and loneliness surround me. Buried in a crowd, drowning under the gazes of people who look through you. I am but of glass, a mirror if you will, willing to be seen through, but not seen. Screaming in a room full of people when no one can hear you, let alone see you. Hidden breaths, rising, falling. Isn't that funny, falling? Laughing would be easier than standing here in the crowded place, filled with people, faces, judging every moment the other makes. I could tell you the peace I get standing alone in a room filled with people who only see you as a mirror for who they don't want to be. I could cry tears of blood, and non would ever so much bat an eye in my direction, but I love it. The feeling of being unseen as to appose being seen for the matieral object I once was. Silent, unmoving, unwilling. I am but an idea, glass, shatterable, broken beyond compare. But strong, resistance flows through me. Willing me to be the best I can be, but can I? Who says I make sense, who says I am even me, am I? That's a question I spent years wondering. Who would I be without these scars that tether my skin, marking each even, like a calender. To mend the feelings people have isn't a easy thing, but to break is easy, always easy. How easy it is to forget, to run. I can feel the ground beneath my feet, feel the soil in-between the crooks of my toes, I could describe to you the smell of the rain. Pinpoint the center of the earth, but as I stand here, again amongst the crowd of people stand in this room. I am lost again, an idea, but for what purpose? If I could run, navigate my way through this crowd, I would seek refuge somewhere dark and cold, where I could take off this cloak and be one with who I am, or want to be.

My FaCiAl Disorder by LIFE---118

How quickly everything ended by just a single day, I was just like any other girl in the world- laughing and hanging out with friends, taking endless selfies, having crushes on bad boys and nerds included. I was confident, maybe even a little vain. I never thought or cared about how I look. It was just mine. Normal. Easy. But everything changed in one single moment- a moment filled with fire, screaming metal, and a blur of terror that rewrote my life. I survived. Everybody says I'm lucky but this, this doesn't feel like survival it feels like a punishment, a curse. A curse that am willing to carry all my life. The accident left me with permanent facial disfigurement, and ever since, I've been stuck behind a mask I never asked to wear. My face is the first thing anyone sees, and sometimes, it feels like the only thing they see. I avoid mirrors now. I no longer go out i miss how I would go out whenever I felt like it. I can't risk being stared at- the quick. Friends faded. Invitations stopped. Of course this would stop, who would want to invite the hideous me. I would scare everyone worse ruin their appetite. That's how everyone reacted the first time I went out. What did I expect. Life moved on for everyone but me. My mom is the only person in my life right now, the only person who hasn't looked away. Shes' become my anchor, my only link to the world I used to know. Even with her love, it's still hard to silence the voices in my head, the ones saying I'm hideous, broken, unworthy. I miss my old smile. I still haven't done anything in life. This isn't just my appearance it's about everything, it stolen my self- esteem, my confidence, my ability to feel like I belong anywhere. I dont feel beautiful anymore, it's not like I was that beautiful but I was myself. I don't even feel like me. This is a constant battle with the mirror, with the world, and with yourself. And most days, I'm still trying to find the strength to look up to.

Silence (Muke Hybrid) by Fangirls_4ever

**I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS IN 5TH GRADE SO IM SORRY FOR ALL THE GRAMMAR AND SPELLING MISTAKES I HAVEN'T LOOKED BACK AT THIS OR EDIT IT SINCE I ENDED IT** *** EDIT #2 🤡WTF WAS I THINKING WHEN I MADE FHIS**** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Are you okay?" *Silence* "I promise I won't hurt you" *Silence* "What's your name?" *Silence* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *WARNING: TRIGGERING ABUSE ANOREXIA SELF-HARM SUICIDE*

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

The Revelation by dstry0515

In the beginning, there was death. The darkness flows from hues of purple and orange, the moon rising to kiss the sun's rays one last time as the darkest cloud of night I've ever seen falls over our tiny haven. I catch Will's face from the side of my vision and my heart tightens slightly. The tick of his jaw wouldn't be noticeable for anyone but me. His best friend, his lifeline. A solemn tear forms in my eye as he wipes his face, another tear falling for the family he lost. I love him. Utterly and desperately so, but, there's nothing I can do about that. The ultimate forbidden fruit, if you will. I reach to comfort him and he doesn't respond. I open my mouth to speak and he looks my way, but the gleam in his dark brown eyes hits the moonlight just right and I fall. My voice escapes my throat and I can't do it. I've tried for years to tell him. 10 years, actually. All this time, I hopelessly remained devoted to a ghost who had given the best of himself to a fiery red-head with a sassy personality and the body of a supermodel. For 10 years, I held to the desperate thought that maybe, just maybe, he'd be someone I could count on. Instead, I watched him marry my best friend, smiled as they welcomed their son. Stood, holding that beautiful boy as his mother was in the first round of executions after the beginning of the Revelation. Helped heal Will's wounds in the aftermath. Cried, clutching the tear-stained shirt of my best friend as his son took his last staggering breath in that first harsh winter. The guilt of my emotions crawl through me. My heart twisting in regret, guilt, desperation, and grief. I loved my best friend. She was so much more than that; she was my family. In this dystopian quick read, join a group of people desperate to recapture their freedom and end a tyrant's reign.

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ by ashluvfictionalmen

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸

"Was it worth the cost?" by Ava0anonymous

"We are all meant to die just once, but apparently, that is nothing short of a lie. A fake reality that we are taught in adolescence. When I learned that truth, I lost everything. ፈᏗᏁᏗᏒᎩ When you calmed my mind, you changed me and took the last thing from me that I had. Now I am alone in this world a victim of its unending cruelty. All of you will learn that. When you do you will wish that you treated me better while you had the chance, " This is not a romance novel. Do not think this is a romance novel. The sequel is thought. Not all mobile devices will be able to show all the text accurately as I use fonts as a conveyer of mental health. Warning Every warning you can think of. There will be gore rape torture and what is worse. Also, I make stories by writing the story plot and everything, and rewriting it to fit in the small details. The chapters all the final ones but the story itself has been finished.

It Wasn't Love ✔️ by depressedbrit

"Fuck." He whispers into my neck, sending a thrill of excitement through my body. His lips still smothered kisses over my neck and his hands roamed my body, starting at my chest, going down to my stomach. Caressing my soft skin, his thumb trailed circles on my groin before slightly slipping into the waistband of my jeans. My breath catches in my throat as I pull at the hoodie that covered his chiselled body. Understanding, Jacob pulls it off in one swift movement before attaching his lips back on my neck. Sucking and biting it before flicking his tongue over the sore spot. A quiet moan leaves my mouth and I clasp my hand over it, denying any noise to escape. "You drive me fucking crazy, Aria." ---------------------------- Aria Bailey finds it hard to fit in. Her parents are always busy and never have time for her. She lives alone at her family home and has top grades in all of her classes. But being a 17 year old friendless nerd comes with its disadvantages. The bullying gets worse every single day, driving her to self harm and suicidal thoughts. Aria learns more about popular boy, Jacob Rickson and starts developing feelings for the well known 18 year old. Jacob helps her come out of her shell and learn to be more comfortable and confident. Aria has to make a tough decision by choosing if she would rather be with Jacob and be bullied by her mind for eternity, or to leave and be left alone, exactly how she wants to be. -Strangers to lovers -Right person, wrong time

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Slide 1 of 9

My FaCiAl Disorder cover

Silence (Muke Hybrid) cover

Falling Apart cover

The Revelation cover

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ cover

"Was it worth the cost?" cover

It Wasn't Love ✔️ cover

Release

This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.