Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide

"I definitely need something alcoholic if I'm going to watch my two best mates divorce," Niall says, yanking a top over his head.

"We're not actually married," Liam says, with slightly more force than intended. "It was an accident. Obviously I wouldn't ever get married to Zayn if I was sober, that's fucking ridiculous."

The bathroom door opens suddenly and Zayn stands there in nothing but a towel, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Liam opens his mouth to say something but Zayn holds up his hand, shaking his head. "You don't need to be a dick about it, Liam. This isn't exactly how I envisioned my first marriage going either."

Or an I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with othereach