Eighteen and Mother of Three
  • Reads 2,314
  • Votes 96
  • Parts 11
  • Time 30m
  • Reads 2,314
  • Votes 96
  • Parts 11
  • Time 30m
Ongoing, First published Jan 20, 2016
"Ok... Well Hello! My name is Madison, Madison Louise, eighteen, dropped out from High Springs College at.... Oh shut up Stephanie, would you---NO DYLAN PUT THE CAT DOWN! Oh fu- I mean fudge yes fudge.... well fudge sakes! DO NOT PUT BROOKE IN THE FREEZER! Fudge sakes she is your sister! I'm sorry uhhh....Tom, yes Tom. Its been soooo long since I've talked to a decent human being! Oh you know what its like to work at Seven Eleven during night... You'll never know the type of people I meet, drunks, drugged teens, run away children..... oooh oooh! You MUST hear this,  this other day...."
The Panda Express delivery guy, Tom I believe, stared at my with his eyes opened to the max.
"I'm sorry....no...no...no English. Egg rolls and stir fry for Miss Louise ey?" 
I nodded in embarrassment, damn it Madison 5th time the week you've scared a delivery guy.
"Yes, I am so sorry uhhh Tom! I mean I'm dying here! A three, two, and one year old...NOT a good combination for a single mummy! Oh wait no no no! I am not a slut who lost her virginity at 13 no no no! Well Stephanie here, the oldest, well I found her at....."
"Oh goodness sakes! I can speak English and I can understand! Just shut the fu... Fudge there's kids!
Just shut the fried rice up! I did not travel for half an hour on this crappy motorbike to listen to your life story ok! I do not give a f- I meant I do not care if you are not a slut! Take your order already!" 
Yelled Tom, I swear I could see his bald head turn to flames, burning what was barely left into crisp pieces.
"I am so sorry Tom! I apologies again! Here take the money, uhhh keep the change!" I apologised as I shoved him a $20 bill.
"Well that was worth it! An extra $7 huh! Good day to you Miss Definitely A Slut!" v
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Sex and Death in Skeleton City

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Geoff and Naomi are dead, and they're depressed, but when Geoff's cat Bernie dies as well, they embark on a wild journey to find it in the underworld. ***** When Geoff dies, alongside his girlfriend Naomi, they end up sharing an apartment in the Underworld as skeletons. But after a few years, Geoff starts suffering a mid-death crisis. What's the purpose of going through the motions as a skeleton if you can't really live? Then he gets word that his cat, Bernie, just died and he can collect him and bring him home! Geoff and Naomi hurry to get Bernie only to discover that, due to a clerical error, their cat has been lost. With the hunt for Bernie giving new purpose to Geoff's un-life, he and Naomi begin a quest to get back their cat. Battling skeleton pirates, climbing the sky ladder and facing off against the villain who took Bernie, Geoff is determined to find his purpose - or die a second time trying! [[2018 Wattys Winner - The Originals]] [[word count: 30,000-40,000 words]]