Halal Humour
- Reads 257,346
- Votes 21,696
- Parts 118
Ongoing34m
Last published Sun, Oct 15, 2017
Jokes, Desi meme, quote, insult and many more things. I promise that you will laugh, smile. I don't take any credit for the jokes in this book I have either read, heard, or seen these jokes and simply wrote them down.
Note: This Book Has Changed Categories (Unfortunately) Due To The Wattpad Guidelines.
All Rights Reserved
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funnymoments
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𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐀𝐆𝐀 𝐃𝐄 | 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 | ✔️
𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ( 𝟏𝟖+) 𝐓𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐝..𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐨❤️ 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧.Complete
The Delivery Guy ✔
↱ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗚𝘂𝘆 ↰ ↳ A S H O R T S T O R Y ↲ ❛I'll be going to charge you extra ,if you gawk me like that.❜ ❛Only if you want to get a hit on your head with my brand new shoe.❜ ❖❖❖ ❛❛Didn't you already received an order at 11 in the morning? It's 5 in the evening, how much do you order, huh?❜❜ ❛❛I already said, I'm a lifestyle blogger but that's nothing to do with you, just do your work with deliveries, 𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘎𝘶𝘺!.❜❜ ❛❛Even though I 'already' said, I'll repeat it again for the nth time, I'm Not 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘎𝘶𝘺!❜❜ ❖❖❖ ❛Don't Worry, I won't charge you extra for gawking me like that.❜ ❛Sadly, I don't have any brand new shoe to hit your head with.❜ . ×------× #01 in 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 102 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 23/01/22 #01 in 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 21/11/21 #02 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 17/08/21. #03 in 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 116 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 23/01/22. #03 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 06/07/21. #04 in 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 866 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 20/01/22 #04 in 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 102 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 20.01.22. #05 in 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 116 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 20/01/22. #06 in 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 3.62𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 on 13/06/21. © LihaMirza.Complete
IT WAS MEANT TO BE HIM
"𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕨𝕟𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙 , 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖" ----------------------------------------------------------------- "Neither she loves you nor she belongs to you" her ex fiancee shouted in anger. He stood up from his king-like chair and walked towards him in a casual demeanor...."But she moans my name pretty loudly at night!" He hissed near his ear in a devilish smirk!!!! "Why are you doing this Kabir...you are playing with her , you don't , in fact you can't love anyone" he said being heartbroken by his previous statement. Tck...tck ...tck....he laughed like a devil and said..." You are right I don't love her in fact I don't love anyone...but that has nothing to do with me having her in my bed , under me ,at my mercy and you know the best part , you my dear baby brother can't do anything about it!!! Follow this journey of madness and possessiveness !!!! Highest rank🥇 #1 in Wattpad #1 in maturethemesComplete
Stupid in love ✔
**** Featured in @AmbassadorsIN Romance Reading List **** *** Formerly featured in Wattpad Humor *** What happens when a crazy guy meets an equally matched crazy girl? They fall in love... Wrong, they fall into more craziness... Jump into the lives of Vansh and Ahana as they make you smile and laugh with their stupidity. As their worlds collide resulting in more craziness, fun and maybe something more... They say opposite people attract but can it apply to alike ones as well? (++ This story was selected to the long list of YourStoryIndia)Complete
𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐞 𝐏𝐲𝐚𝐚𝐫 𝐊𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐚 | 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 |✔️
𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (𝟏𝟖+) 𝐓𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐝..𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐨❤️ 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 ✔️ . . . . . #1 Shorts #1 in short story #1 in shy love #2 in HumorComplete
ADMIRING BOND
[ Part 2 of ADMIRING LOVE ] To understand the story of this book better, first read its first part, " ADMIRING LOVE "Complete
✨The Desi Tales✨- Short Stories Collections
🕊️✨🤍🐚📜✨ ✧Tumpe marte hain, Hum mar jayenge. Yeh sab kehte hain, Hum kar jayenge.♡ Collection of Desi short stories 📜✒️ It can also be One-shot , two-shot or three-shot story✨ Add the book in your library💁🏻 Peep inside fast🏃🏻♀️ *Updates 4 times a week* *Pictures credit - Pinterest* 🏅#17 - tropes on 26/2/25 🏅#1 - collectionofstories on 6/3/25 🏅#11 - tropes on 10/3/25 🕊️✨🤍🐚📜✨
Love And Crosses ~ Short Stories Collection
𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟏 ❁ 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐟 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ❁ ❁✵❁ ✧𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 ✓ ✧𝐻𝑒𝑟 𝑆𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑟 ✓ ✧𝘈𝘯 𝘜𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘞𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 ✓ ✧𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝐵𝑦 𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑦 ✓ ✧𝐻𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝐹𝑙𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 - 𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛 𝐺𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠 ✓ ✧𝐴𝑟𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠 - 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑟'𝑠 𝑂𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 ( ᴏɴɢᴏɪɴɢ ) ✧ 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑙 ( ᴏɴɢᴏɪɴɢ ) ✧ 𝑁𝑜𝑜𝑟-𝑒-𝑀𝑜ℎ𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑎𝑡 - 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐿𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 ( ᴏɴɢᴏɪɴɢ ) ✧ 𝑇𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑦 :𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑅𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝐵𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 ( ᴏɴɢᴏɪɴɢ ) ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ✧ 𝑅𝑜𝑦𝑎𝑙 𝑇𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 - 𝑀𝑟. 𝐵𝑜𝑑𝑦𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑'𝑠 𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑏𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠 ( ᴜᴘᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ) ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
Raabta | Ryannesplanet
Kindly, check the first part: introduction. ♡
OUR LOVE
/\_/\ (•. • ) ^. ^ ( Will be unpublished on 1 April for editing ) KIAAN OBEROI " No one could understand the love I have for you , not even you " PRIYA MALHOTRA " Love is complicated but let's be complicated together ! " ISHAAN MALHOTRA " My love ,you are worth it " TANISHA OBEROI " But my happiness starts with you! " KAVISH AGGARWAL " If it's meant to be , it'll be " NAVYA CHAUHAN " You are my home , unlike my real home you make me feel safe " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6 characters 3 different stories 1 book Let's see where this goes ♥️✨
DEVOTED TO HER
"𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞,𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫" •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• "I don't want to hurt you Mr.Malhotra i am a mess, a total mess, I cannot even handle a relationship, I am not good enough for you nor for anyone else! I DON'T THINK YOU DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE ME" she said in a breaking voice as i saw her getting up to leave the room I stepped forward and held her hand and looked into her eyes with assurance and affection.. " I PROMISE WHOEVER LED YOU TO SAY THESE WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH...I WOULD MAKE HIS LIFE A MESS..You are beautiful the way you are! and i deserve every bit of you" the last words came out of my mouth like a whisper while rubbing off her tears with my thumb.. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Tune in the journey of how mihika mathur's life turned upside down when her fiance didn't turn up to the wedding venue leaving her on their wedding day waiting for him...and she has to marry her best friend's brother on whom she had a little crush when she was 17.. who she didn't know was whipped for her "DEVOTED TO HER" starting from 4th march 2024 ✨ ps: it's my first time writing..show some love🫶🏻 and suggestions are always welcomed✨
Forevermore
"𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅, 𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈, 𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔" ••• rewriting the book! •••Complete
Yours, With Love
"Why Radha?", his eyes glistened with emotions, with what he felt for her, as he caressed her cheek with all the love he beheld within. "Why do you tolerate so much for me?", his words were strained as he felt the lump in his throat increasingly aching with each word that he uttered. She smiled through her pain, and kept her affectionate palm on his cheek. "That's because I have fallen for you, my Raj. Tumhare liye to meri jaan bhi hazir.", the pure love she felt for him seeping through her words. "My Radha.", he cradled her to himself, wishing to hide her from anyone and anything which might ever harm her, even in the slightest. Radhika Sisodia, as wonderful as she could be - a mature, responsible, sorted girl. Rajeev Ranawat, as wonderful as he could be - a calm, sincere, compassionate man. What if these two were to fall in love? Well, they do, but what if some impediment were to come their way? Will they be able to overcome it, or what shall happen of their pure love? Dive right into this peaceful love story of our Radhika and Raj! By the way, don't worry, I always right happy endings :D Note : Non Indian readers, there will be some phrases, words in Hindi which will be explained then and there. So you too can enjoy this book :)Complete![My FanGirl [HUMOR]✔](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/103895694-256-k279733.jpg)
My FanGirl [HUMOR]✔
#1 in humor on 24.01.2018 Picture this- You are a huge fan of a singer from your favourite band. Your day starts looking at his picture on the wall of the bedroom and ends with the same. One day you are standing near the window of your room and what you see next makes you freeze.... You see your favourite singer ,your crush standing with a mug of coffee in his hand on the window of the room opposite to your bedroom. Dream come true, right? 'Chashmish' is what he calls her. 'Rockstar' is what he prefers. What happens when two completely different worlds collide? Sparks? Explosion? OR Love with a solid taste of humor. Come fall in love with our crazy malhotra and his Fangirl❤ -------- *CONTAINS HINDI DIALOGUES*Complete
Out of the Blue| ✓
"you thought I would love you? look who just had the biggest misconception in their life." I said laughing on the outside but the pain that was circulating through my heart was so immense that I couldn't hide the tears which were forming in my eyes. "you don't know why I did what I did" she said. yeah how will I know. I am the dumbest person on this planet to even think what she had for me was true. "But this is not where it ends. It will end only when I marry you. Mark my words Aanya" I said throwing a punch right beside her face, on the net behind her. ___________________________________________ Aanya Verma, an average Indian girl trying to survive her college life, where she unexpectedly encounters her school enemy. the story takes place when Aanya finds out that her so-called enemy from school is her first one night stand. Vineet Singhal, a calm and sophisticated person. the ever so quiet Vineet loses his calm the moment he comes in contact with this particular girl who knows nothing but how to get on his nerves. At some point, just looking at her face is enough for him to lunge on her like a bull. This complication between them has been caused by a certain someone at a very young age. Both of their minds are filled with hurt for each other. To find out more, dive into their world along with me. Nyraa. ___________________________________________ Story tropes: • enemies to lovers • hate to love • school life to college life to adults • fun banter date of start- 4/3/24 date of end- 14/10/25Complete
Tae Weds Kook ⁉ ||Ďēşi Đŕämå|| ✔
"When two families fix a relationship between their children's marriage and When their lies come in the way...... Will they accept the affair or step back from the wedding when their kids develop a bond between among themselves." Let's see what will happen?? 👀 Read on ! Total full ON High DESI DRAMA....🤪 A two Bangtan families..mixed...crazy with desi plot ❤🇮🇳 ____________________________ [ not BOY X BOY fanfic ] (A Gentle Reminder AHMMM!! when you are laughing with tears don't forget to vote and comment)Complete
𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ( 𝟏𝟖+) 𝐓𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐝..𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐨❤️ 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧.
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