The World Is Ugly (Phan)
  • Reads 199
  • Votes 16
  • Parts 5
  • Time 35m
  • Reads 199
  • Votes 16
  • Parts 5
  • Time 35m
Ongoing, First published Jan 25, 2016
Mature
Dan has this tendency to complicate things better than he breaks them. Phil can only make sense of all the mess by making sense of the people around him. What will happen when Dan breaks everything around him and Phil can't make sense of him? 

Then things get worse and they're forced to run away, not only from their problems but also from what they love, what they live for. And when they're left with nothing except broken hearts and the clothes they're wearing, will they find a way to survive? 

Or will they collapse in the hands of the cruel world they seem to live in?

Warnings: Mentions of rape, suicide/suicidal thoughts/death (no main character deaths)

A/N: Any questions or comments you can DM me anytime and I'll try to answer as soon as possible :)
All Rights Reserved
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Depression//Phan by bluetroyee
19 parts Complete Mature
(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!) Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep. He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them? What did he do to deserve any of this?? His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew. But one day, would people push him over his limit? Would Dan be able to save him in time? © 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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I've read a bunch of phan, so why not write one? Dan Howell's life couldn't be any better at the moment. He has met the most beautiful, charming, kind girl he could ever imagine, and she loves him back. Everything is perfect... but not for Phil. Phil Lester has always been in love with Dan since the first moment he first met him, but now Phil's heart is crushed. He has some suspicions of Dan's girlfriend, but Dan just brushes it off, ignoring Phil completely. Unfortunately, Phil's bad feelings may be true... Sexual content, self harm, language, and domestic abuse warning. Also, I'm American, so if I get anything wrong, please tell me. ••• Update: This is very old (not really that old) writing! It's cringy as hell, and I apologize in advance. I have fixed a few errors, so if it seems slightly different than it was before, that's why.