My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.
- Reads 40,442
- Votes 473
- Parts 100
Complete Fri, Jun 22, 20127h 23m
Just the life of a girl who may or may not be mentally ill. Care to take the journey with me?
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#127
valentines
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Not Sick But Not Well.
This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.
Life so Sick or Perfect |One Direction|
!!!!Warning, you can find here bad depression and anxiety thoughts, self harm, suicidal things, eating disorder and other mentalillnesses!!!! 1st book of serie Life so Sick or Perfect Her life is one big roller coaster. One day it looks like a perfection and the second it's so sick. What will win you'll learn this in this serie so don't wait any longer and start reading...Complete
Remind me to forget
What would you tell your past self? That it should be more careful while stepping over those slippery rocks of the river? That it shouldn't accept the first cigarette from an old friend? People tend to regret things. Of course there are experiences that one could go without but those are the things that shape a person. 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕤𝕒𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕟 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕒 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟, 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕟𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕤𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘. "Who is Jughead? I'm Cody" 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕞 𝕀 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕨𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦? 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕞 𝕀 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕒𝕪, 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀'𝕞 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕕 𝕦𝕡 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕜𝕒𝕪? or the story where one secret gets revealed after another when Jughead Jones had a car accident and lost memories of his past 5 years. #JarchieComplete
The Abandoned Lovers
"Tell me. Why won't you tell me?" He asks and I look towards him slowly, "You didn't even talk to me until yesterday! I'm trying to make it so nobody notices me, Kingston. I don't need this." I say and he slowly turns my face towards him, closing my locker and pinning me up against it. "What if I need you?" He asks and I roll my eyes. "Nice one, Hamlet." I say, walking away from him. One of the perks of being short, easily get away from tall people. ❤︎ IF YOU WANT A BETTER BOOK W A SIMILAR VIBE: check out My Evangeline on my page! wayyy better written (I was prob 12 when I wrote this) and a good story! ❤︎ Kingston Brag is the blonde haired popular guy with baby blue eyes, he's the guy every girl wanted. Every. Single. One. Except for her... Summer Cynthia. She hides in the corners and under black hoodies to hide her scars and bruises, her bloody arms and cuts, she hides her life. But there is one person who is determined to know what happened to her. Kingston Brag. But he has a mission that he's running from. #1// badparents // November 18, 2019 #7//teendrama // February 21, 2020 #17//romance//May 08, 2020 #1//abandoned//March 29, 2021 #5//drama//May 14, 2021 #1//fiction//May 15, 2021 #1//popular//May 18, 2021 #1//chicklit//May 22, 2021 #2//highschool//February 20, 2023 #3//teen//February 20, 2023 #3//teenromance//fFebruary 20, 2023Complete
Cynical Souls
COMPLETED✅ Two high school teenagers finding themselves, analyzing this ever changing world, and building love. This is the type of love you wish you found in high school but probably know way too well that it only exists as fiction. Today I'm turning my fiction to reality. ❣️•••❣️ Excerpt: Just as I was about to seek shelter under some building's roof, the tires of a car come to a halt, I wonder who might pity the lonely girl walking in the rain. The passenger window rolls down, and I spot the most unexpected person seated behind the wheel. "Get in" comes out his voice, and I must've stood there agape for a few moments because next comes his rhetorical question. "Are you getting in or continuing walking in the rain?" Eyebrows raised expectantly. He sounds annoyed, like he regrets his decision to ever stop and help me. ❣️•••❣️ #5 in cynical #2 in loveandfriendship #1 in opinionated #4 in ihatelife #10 in nerdgirl #10 in HighschoolRomance #26 in GoodGirlBadBoy *contains mature themes. *contains cursing.Complete
The Selfless Love
<COMPLETED> Fasten your seatbelts, towards the journey of mixed emotions... They say life is hard. Yes, it is. But can you imagine how hard it is to dwell without a loved one? Carrying, tons of memories alone... It would be nice if the loved one comes alive. It isn't possible but it would be nice if it is. The adventure of four girls turned into a disaster on their best day and the encounter of various feeling rides and suffocations, connectives to different people, Can they encounter love again?... Can they be happy again without regrets?... Can they live in peace? An unknown mystery, how they find it, and how they solve it? #sliceoflife #fantasy #depression #life #emotions #death #accident #drama #greedComplete
𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔
"𝓢𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓼, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓾𝓷𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓪𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 - 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓱𝓸𝔀, 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓽𝓸𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻." 𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒍, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅. 𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅? 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕: 𝒂 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔, 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒍. 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝑷𝒊𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝑨𝒔𝒉𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓-𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒖𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒔, 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒂, 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕. 𝑨𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒅𝒆, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔: 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔Complete
Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)
🚨 DON'T READ THIS VERSION. This story has been rewritten into a separate book with a different title. The new and better version, IN WAVES, can be found on my profile. Please read that one instead! 🚨 __________________________________________ "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" His eyes gazed over my face like smooth green emeralds in the darkness, lingering on my ruby lips momentarily before looking back up again. It wasn't an easy question; maybe it was for some people, but not for me. Starting her junior year of high school, seventeen-year-old Lia thought her plan to date the wealthy football star was enough to break out of her comfort zone for the year, but things don't always go as planned. She had no idea what lay ahead of her when the adventurous, passionate and jaw-droppingly attractive Nate crashes into her life instead, showing her how to live and throwing her into a world of total chaos and heartbreaking romance. As Lia battles her conflicting feelings for the damaged soul she connects with, she discovers that love and emotions are never simple. There's always going to be something - or someone - standing in the way. [17+] ✘ Mature themes, strong language and sensitive topics ✘ Highest Rank #3 in comingofage (October 2019)Complete![Gladiolus [COMPLETED ✅]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/279735887-256-k813176.jpg)
Gladiolus [COMPLETED ✅]
ආදරය.. ♡♡ ඔව් එය අප හැමෝටම උවමනා දෙයක්..ආදරය කියන්නේ වචනයෙන් පරිසමාප්ත අර්ථයෙන්ම උසස්ම හැගීමක්. හුඟක් වෙලාවට අපි අපට ලබා ගන්න බැරි දේවල් වලට ආදරය කරනවා. සමහර අවස්ථ ාවල අපිට ඒ ආදරය ලැබෙනවා සමහර අවස්ථාවල අපිට ඒ ආදරය මග හැරෙනවා. ඒ වගේ මග හැරුණු... නැහැ උවමනාවෙන් මග හරවගත් ආදරාන්දරයක යට ගිය මුල ගිය කතාන්දරයක කළුවර මතකයක් දිග හැරීමේ පළමු අඩිතාලම යි.... ✿ මං කිම් සන්ජූන්...මේක මගේ ජීවිතේ එක් සංධිස්ථානයකි... ✿ කතාවේ නම ගැන කතා කළොතින් ග්ලැඩියොලස්. මතක තබා ගැනීම, විශ්වාසවන්තභාවය සහ අවංකභාවය යන සියල්ල ග්ලැඩියුලස් කියන මලේ නමින් නියෝජනය වෙනවා. එහි උස ශක්තිමත් කඳන් සංකේතවත් කරන්නේ චරිතයේ ශක්තිය මෙන්ම හදවතේ ඇති ආත්ම ශක්තිය යි.....Complete
Life Is a Roller Coaster |Sequel|
!!!!Warning, you can find here eating disorder, maybe little depresion thoughts and hints of self harm!!!!! 2nd book of Life so Sick or Perfect serie Amy is going to completely different country to live a new life. How's she after what happened?? What changed and what is still the same?? You'll see all of this so go ahead and start reading... New chapters on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays or Sundays (if you're lucky on both days)Complete
Stockholm.
[COMPLETED] Disclaimer! Everything in this piece was written on true events and had happened to me (the writer) personally. This piece may contain highly sensitive content and I write this to help myself and spread awareness to sexual abuse, rape, harassment, abuse, manipulation, assault, torture and Stockholm syndrome. Please read at your own comfort. Thankyou for reading.Complete
When I Met You {English}
"You disappoint me... What do you even see in him?" "Aren't you tired of this already?! If you want to pick a fight, fight me, not him. Got it??" What he did enraged me so much that I threw my hardest punch at his face, forcing his head to snap to the side. "If you ever touch him again--" before I could finish my sentence, he grabbed my arm and slammed me against the wall. "If I touch him again, what?!" he shouted, his face inches from mine, as I trembled with rage. "Got a big crush on the kid, huh?!" he exploded, and I could feel the weight of everyone's eyes on us. ~~ Have you ever wondered how different your life would be if you changed just the smallest of your actions? Because that's what I do. I wonder how my life would be now if I hadn't made that tiny mistake in the schoolyard. Everything started then. When I met you, twelve years ago...
The Boy Next Door
Something hit the side of my laptop screen and fell onto the floor. It was a paper airplane. There was a message written inside. "You look pretty hot in a towel. You should wear that more often." -Colton I was shocked when I read the note. I looked out my open window to see a guy sitting on the edge of the window of the house next door. He was looking right at me. _____________ At the start of Rachel Summers' senior year of high school, new neighbors move in next door. One of these neighbors is Colton Miller, who is also a high school senior. First impressions can say a lot about a person. Colton learns this the hard way when he first meets Rachel. Starting out on an unpleasant note, Rachel and Colton must learn how to accept each other for who they are, as they are forced to spend time with each other. This marks the beginning of their story and all they will encounter together. ---------------- *Some Mature Themes*Complete
Black & White
A story, in which a typical teenage girl falls for the school's bad boy. Except, she's not that typical and he's not that much of a bad boy. *** "If I told you that I care about you, more than anyone in your life does, would you believe me?" He asked me, his jaw clenched. I could tell he was furious. Yet somehow, I wasn't scared of him. "No" I shook my head bravely. "If I told you,'' He tried again, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before continuing.''That you make me so fucking mad, I want to punch a fucking wall. What would you say?" He had me trapped now, my back painfully colliding with the wall behind me. I gasped at the impact, looking up into his icy grey eyes. They were cold, emotionless. As always. "Do it!" I dared him with the last ounce of courage I had left in me. The sound of his fist smashing through the wall right next to my head, made my ears ring for a brief moment. I opened my mouth to speak again, shaking slightly, only for him to pull away and leave me standing there alone. ____ !!Warning!! This story contains strong language, mature scenes, alcohol and drug consumption, and sensitive topics like - eating disorders, bullying, mental health, etc. ___ HIGHEST RANKINGS: 1st in #ed, 1st in #badboysgirl, 8th in #victim, 9th in #rehabilitation, 13th in #youngadultComplete![Spoiled Romance | BWWM [ongoing]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/342291374-256-k966573.jpg)
Spoiled Romance | BWWM [ongoing]
⋅₊‧ made by ; 𝐇𝐇𝐔𝐄𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐒. ₊⊹ bwwm.! ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉᵐᵖᵒʳᵃʳʸ ʳᵒᵐᵃⁿᶜᵉ- ᵈᵃʳᵏ ʳᵒᵐᵃⁿᶜᵉ & ʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ ᵃᵈᵘˡᵗ . . . . . : 𐙚 ˚ ! . -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐡 𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲. 𝐖𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 it was at home where her parents cared and showered her with love or at school where everyone admired her, Haylie seems to have the perfect live. But under that perfect facade was a small fragile girl, living in a happy house, yearning for some love and affection. After all every picture perfect family had a little secret, right? 𝐁𝐮𝐭 what happens when three guys enter her life? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 happens if they don't get along? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 happens if they do get along? 𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤. All rights reserved! Please do not copy this story in any type of way or form I came up with this myself and I will literally sue if I have to!
Behind the Glasses
Her entire life so far had been like one sunny afternoon, passing quickly and soon forgotten along with all the other days that had no stand-out excitement or tragedy. At thirteen she was ready to explore the entire world, learn fighting and this new world. Her emotions were not easily hidden on her innocent face. Her pain was evident in the crease of her lovely brow and the down-curve of her full lips. But her eyes, her eyes showed her soul. They were a deep pool of restless gold, an ocean of hopeless grief. As he looked into her eyes I knew, all the beauty of the universe could not even hope to compete with this simple thing: passion. Passion turned her eyes into orbs of the brightest fire, and in them I read clearly that she would fight to the very last tear for her life. She would not let the world break her. Sure she could cry, but she would never let them take her true self from her. She clung to it with passion. Passion that made her beautiful. He saw her passion! A story about love and finding her identity! Who is she? Enjoy reading. :)Complete
Awkward
- a featured story on wattpad @sport - a featured story on wattpad @generalfiction School has an odd way of making you hate it yet love the people you meet. I hate both. I've been the new boy at my school for nearly five months. Since my family's life of poverty was flipped on its head I've seen my entire world open up; it's like I was living in a cave. This time last year, I was 'too poor to have a Valentine'. This time this year, I just don't have the guts. Seriously, "Valentine's Day is the root of human anxiety." ~ Albert Einstein. (Don't look it up. I'm telling you what 'the government' doesn't want you to know.) But school has an odd way of giving you the perfect friends, a perfect love life and perfectly supporting your dreams to be a pro football player like your older brother. That, or it crushes you. It just crushes you. Your dreams? Crushed. Your friends? Meh. Your love life? Nonexistent (but as soon as it exists, CRUSHED). But we don't know what will happen for sure, right? I'm Roman Turner, but you can call me "the cool man". Gosh, I know I'll cringe at this later. ----------- - a featured story on wattpad @sport - a romance winner at the multi awards - a story told through two points of view • Romance/Sport/Slice of Life | Roman • Prose/Mystery/Psychological | Danielle • BOOK ONE: LIVING. • (EST.) 3390 words/part. • Cover artist - Sage Hieran. WARNING: If you are reading this story on a website other than Wattpad, you are currently very likely to be at risk of a MALWARE ATTACK on your device. To read this story in its original, safe, form, safely visit it here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/256322737 DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction; names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.Complete
Old Stories& Poetry (Mostly 9th and 10th grade)
Complete
dear diary
i started writing these diary entries in the beginning of freshman year and decided i wanted to start posting so heres my very messy life
Where We Were Meant To Meet
"Teenage relationships are fake." That's what most people say. They think it's just drama, temporary attraction, and silly heartbreaks. But sometimes... teenage love can be more pure, more intense, and more real than anything else. This story is about that kind of love. In this book, you'll see how different two people can be .. not just in background, but in how they see the world. The girl belongs to a rich family. She's bold, smart, and knows what she wants. The boy comes from a middle-class home. He's calm, simple, and scared of getting into something as confusing as love. Still, destiny brings them together. They're both toppers, both talented, both teenagers. But when it comes to love .. their thoughts don't match. She falls first .. slowly, softly. And he falls later .. but when he does, he falls harder than ever. This story is not about perfect people. It's about real emotions, silent stares, late-night thoughts, innocent fights, handwritten letters, and unspoken promises. It's about teenage love .. raw, messy, honest. You'll laugh with them. You'll cry with them. You'll smile at their small wins and feel your heart ache at their misunderstandings. Because this book isn't just about romance. It's about growing up, falling for someone when you least expect it, and learning that love doesn't care about status, fear, or timing. So welcome to this journey. A journey where she fell first... and he fell harder. A beautiful, imperfect, unforgettable teenage love story.Complete
This day wasn't an exception. I cried over and over until I could no longer, I wiped my tears and took the packages in my arms after opening the door. In the house, nothing new. They were still talking, so I had time to drop off the packages, and without even opening one, I headed to the showers, cleaned my face with water, and went to my room. This is roughly how my days as a child went. I know that it cannot be described as an ideal childhood, but it would certainly be the most beautiful period of my life. Despite family conflicts, school conflicts, loneliness, and fear, I was happy. I was happy because they were all there, happy because they always remained, despite my faults, and happy. After all, I knew that I had not yet experienced the worst. Happy because I knew, that sooner or later everything would end. So yes, I was as cowardly and useless as they all claimed and even more naive than they would have believed, but this vision that I had at that age kept me going. Although the truth was hard to accept, I was given no choice. So I accepted life as it came; I accepted myself and my truth, my weaknesses, and the fact that I had to get used to the idea that I would always be the first actor to die in films.
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