Before I Die

Before I Die

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Fri, Jan 29, 2016
I'm sick, yes I'm dying of cancer, but that's not why I'm sick. I'm sick of doctors, nurses, therapist, group leaders, consolers, and even my parents telling my to be carful. "Don't drink alcohol, don't ride the roller coaster, don't swim too long" you get the picture. Basically I'm living my life like I'm a bubble and everything in the world is a pointy object. So I'm done, I'm going stop living my life carefully , and live it more carefree. Nothing is going to stop my cancer, it's terminal. So why live my life like a bubble? I've got around 3 months to live, that's about 13 weeks, or 91 days, or 2184 hours, or 131040 minutes, or 7862400 seconds! But who's counting? I need to make everyone of those 7862400 seconds count. So what you're about to read is my list, my, Things To Do Before I Die, list, and I'm going to do everything that's on that list if it kills me. Because life is meant to be an adventure and trying things for the first time. So, when's the last time you've done something for the first time? It took me learning I was going to die to start living my life to its fullest potential, what's it going to take you?
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***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

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