When She's Gone
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- Votes 84
- Parts 16
Ongoing20m
Last published Fri, Mar 11, 2016
It's funny how once something dramatic happens, people start caring. I realized that life is so precious. You only get one chance to live it right. All my life I always said I was fine thinking that's all they want me to say. They don't care about me. I'm leaving for everyone's own good. Now I'm happy. Are you? My silence was just another word for my pain because I knew once I spoke I would be rejected and judged. Everyone gave up on me and soon enough I did too. I didn't love myself and that's how I understood other people didn't either. I cried because I tried to be strong but I couldn't. You just cannot possibly imagine how much I hate myself. No one believed my pain was real but now they will. I'm done lying to everyone. I'm not okay. My life hurt a lot more than death, but you didn't see the sadness in me. The pain. I'm sick of crying. I'm tired of trying. All the smiles, the vulnerable laughs were fake. Everyone cares in the end but in the end it's too late.
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Scholar
[COMPLETED] [Warning: Strong language used throughout the book.] He put his hand over my notebook and the other over mine. I glared up at him, his golden brown eyes catching my attention. "I can't write like this," I pointed out. "Is this all you care about?" Ryan asked. I shrugged. "Not this specifically, but yeah, I care about my grades." Ryan smirked. I swallowed nervously but refused to break my stoic expression. He leaned closer to me, my heart pounding so hard against my chest it felt like it might break out and fall on the table between us. His mouth was right by my ear, and I could feel his warm breath when he spoke which sent shivers down my spine. "Well, aren't you a little a scholar?" *** The only things Alex Moris ever cared about were his grades and his sister. However, when the boy his sister likes, Ryan Smithe, makes things complicated and causes him to feel things he's never felt before, Alex realizes that, maybe, there's more important things in life than grades and scholarships. [Word Count: 40,216] [BoyxBoy] ~#14 in the "BoyxBoy" tag on 3/5/2019~ ~#14 in the "love" tag on 12/28/2018~ ~#8 in the "lgbt" and "lgbtq" tags on 1/4/2019~ ~#1 in the "loveislove" tag on 1/12/2019~ ~#31 in the "romance" tag on 2/10/2019~ ~#2 in the "BxB" tag on 3/9/2019~Complete
Journey Of Self Love
I used to think love was all about finding someone to make you feel whole. But as the days passed, watching him laugh with his friends, I started to realize something. I was waiting for someone else to validate me, to give me the affection I craved. But the truth hit me hard-I needed to start with myself. I stopped measuring my worth by his attention, or anyone else's. I stopped seeking approval in the way I looked, the things I said, or the way I walked into a room. Slowly, I learned that the most important love was the one I could give myself. I didn't need his smile or his words to feel seen. It wasn't easy, but I started finding peace in my own reflection. I became more comfortable with who I was-flaws, mistakes, and all. I realized that I didn't need anyone to complete me. I was whole, just as I was. That why I wrote a story about my personal experience with love .
Blame for Blame ✔
"One body: A death, a suicide, and now a murder. Lunacy is settling over, leaving its fingerprints on them, while breathing down their necks. The warm kiss of air is mistaken for nothing but a midnight breeze, and finger prints not much more than dirt. "Are you worthy enough, huh? Do you think I'm such a fool? You'll die there. Ashton Kahn. Mark my words. You are going to die and your family is going to live a dead life. You know what grief is? Of course, why would YOU know? You haven't been miserable for once in your life, have you? You have always been the super-star, haven't you? Of course you'll die. You deserve nothing but a deadly, rotten grave. You are such a chick, aren't you? Huh. I hate you Ashton Kahn. You are so mean. You think wealth is the world. You think beauty is the world. Don't you find having the best muscles, having the best grades, having the perfect eyes, having the perfect clothes, shoes-" Her words were so powerful, her expression meaner. She meant it. And how right she was. There I was, living a beautiful life. Of course I had no idea what misery is. I'd never been miserable for a second. Hah. She was giving me a lesson. The feeling was so intense, her words ruling my brain, empowering my veins. I was so useless. Have I ever cried? Have I ever thought why people say Life is just a Lie? Did I ever care why was the guy behind the coffee shop shutters crying? Did I ever gave it a second thought what did that guy felt when I called him Bozo? Or what was going on with that girl I heard of whose parents died a day ago? Of course, what was I capable of feeling? And there I had always thought I was the perfect me. The boy who could do anything. The boy who ruled. The boy who lived. Life is just a Lie. And for the first time in ever, I felt it to be so, so real. The reality of this was ever-awakening, it's power would have killed a soul. Life is just a Lie.Complete
SENSITIVE STRINGS
August is slipping through our hands like a half-sipped bottle of wine and this year for me has been the most Unhinged, deranged, yet somehow on some level chic and comforting. I found and discovered things I never thought I would and I lost some things of great meaning which also I never thought I would. This year sure has been a rollercoaster of a ride, and the most terrifying thing about this is that the year hasn't even finished yet. I've felt a lot of emotions like madness, happiness, sadness and confusion and homesick-hysterion and a flash mobs of questions posted in my mind like post it notes just screaming. And so I got tired of them. And I wrote an anthology of the events that happened to me this year and have happened to me in the past. This is a concept record. Each track is a letter to someone, or some situation where I wanted to say I lot of things... But I couldn't so I decided to let my mind and heart intertwine, and speak those words that I couldn't. I hold Sensitive Strings close to my heart because it's my first anthology. Although it might not seem like it right now, but in future after release of several other anthologies, I want to look back at this record and just laugh, because it's a depressingly funny record of an 18 year old queer boy, and it's probably things that most people relate to because unlike *coughs* some people, I don't gatekeep my trauma as unique, because it's trauma not a competition. I hope that you all will love this record as much as I do. And I hope that Sensitive Strings will keave you all to want more. And I promise with me more is always coming. I just want to say to all those people who supported me in this, Especially all of my friends, you know who you are. I love you and this wouldn't have been possible without you. With all your love to me, And your greatest empathy, I take this step further without looking back now, SENSITIVE STRINGS IS OUT NOW. Love you & Thank you. Riv.Complete
Save Me From The Scars Of Yesterday.
I'm broken beyond repair and yet... I still wish for someone to save the last pieces of me before I completely die away. I only have one wish... And that is for someone to see past the smiling facade... For someone to see through my bright smile... I want someone who will ask me even just for once... If I was alright... If I was okay... But no... Everyone sees no one else but the happy me. Even jealous of how much I was enjoying life... How mistaken they all are...Complete
rose in the desert
I will write my future story in bilingual. I want to force myself to be the person I like. I don't care if other people like me, I just care if they like me. After days of hesitation, I finally settled on the name, and I sat on the toilet thinking about the script God had sent me... I can't wait to read the script God sends me and I can't wait to finish it. After writing it, the English audio reading was wonderful. I burst into tears as I listened, and burst into tears as I finished writing. This is very interesting. I always touch myself again and again, always write dreams in my dreams. Whose life is not a dream? I am an affectionate and tragic person, and I love this world deeply. Love so deeply, so seriously. God often gives me so much information that my brain feels like it's going to explode and I'm going crazy. I can understand what Vincent van Gogh was doing in the wheat field. When you see everything in the world, dear, you don't care about anything anymore. You only live for your own happiness. People start to distance themselves from you and you become more and more lonely. God, I ask you again and again, why am I stuck in the desert? I want you to answer me, once is not enough, ten times is not enough, a hundred times is not enough, a thousand times is not enough, ten thousand times is not enough! 2025/1/5
Yours Forcefully
She - Innocent, shy, clumsy, naïve 19 year old beautiful girl who's trying to face the challenges life is throwing at her. With no parents besides her, she tries her best to impress her aunt who hates her. With a jealous cousin, she tries her best to cope up with her college life who loves to give her shocking surprises. But what will happen when she'll face the true devil? Will he break her or will gather her broken pieces of heart?? He- Ruthless, arrogant, cruel 25 years old handsome CEO of top multinational company and the King of underworld who'll ruin everything coming in his way. With hateful parents, he's trying his best to avoid them and not to kill them. With thousands of enemies, he's at his best to scare them off. But what will happen when he'll face a true angel in this cruel world? Will she fix him or will run away from him like everyone else?? ----------------------------------------- "........now you may kiss the bride". I froze. I didn't want him to kiss me. I wanted to hide somewhere and never come back. Lucifer slowly turned me towards him. He lift up my veil and pulled my waist tightly until I was completely pressed against him. Then he whispered "welcome to my world, wife" and kissed me hard on my lips. It was more like a punishment kiss. I tried to push him but he bite my lips hard. Now tears were streaming down my face. After some minutes he released me and wipe my tears and kissed me on my forehead. People were clapping. Celebrating my doom.Complete
Can I be happy? (Free x depressing reader)
Being happy used to be easy. I had friends who cared about me and we took this world by storm at a young age.... But there is always that one person that makes my life a living hell. This won't end happy for either of us and all those people who left me will pay. They caused me so much pain and despair that I want it to end so badly. And maybe today.....it will.Complete
[COMPLETED] [Warning: Strong language used throughout the book.] He put his hand over my notebook and the other over mine. I glared up at him, his golden brown eyes catching my attention. "I can't write like this," I pointed out. "Is this all you care about?" Ryan asked. I shrugged. "Not this specifically, but yeah, I care about my grades." Ryan smirked. I swallowed nervously but refused to break my stoic expression. He leaned closer to me, my heart pounding so hard against my chest it felt like it might break out and fall on the table between us. His mouth was right by my ear, and I could feel his warm breath when he spoke which sent shivers down my spine. "Well, aren't you a little a scholar?" *** The only things Alex Moris ever cared about were his grades and his sister. However, when the boy his sister likes, Ryan Smithe, makes things complicated and causes him to feel things he's never felt before, Alex realizes that, maybe, there's more important things in life than grades and scholarships. [Word Count: 40,216] [BoyxBoy] ~#14 in the "BoyxBoy" tag on 3/5/2019~ ~#14 in the "love" tag on 12/28/2018~ ~#8 in the "lgbt" and "lgbtq" tags on 1/4/2019~ ~#1 in the "loveislove" tag on 1/12/2019~ ~#31 in the "romance" tag on 2/10/2019~ ~#2 in the "BxB" tag on 3/9/2019~
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