My Attempt
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- Parts 1
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Thu, Feb 4, 2016
Missed class again. But even if I do, so what? No matter how good I may do at university, I'll have to add another couple grand to my ever growing student loans, so who gives a shit if I go to class or not?!
I picked up videogames for the first time in many weeks. I was actually a little excited... I sat there for the past hour or two, just reassigning my directories in my various emulators so that everything would work....
I felt a rush playing dragon ball z... It's been a long while since I've felt anything playing a game....
Now I just want to sit here and game and forget all of this bullshit.. but I have work... sigh
I'm thinking about quitting, but I don't have anywhere else I could really go.. that and it's a restaurant, and I make decent pay there...
So I'm here, stranded at home once again, because my annoying brother took the car to who knows where...
I don't care. I really don't care.. I won't have any type of actual freedom until I leave this place
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"Treasure what're you doing awake by this time". I heard my mum voice trailing behind. I shivered,I knew perfectly the rules of not being awake by this time. I would only get scolded at and maybe my phone seized. But it's not really my fault for wanting a distraction from my messy life. I just couldn't take it anymore,I was tired of thinking of my life I was tired of blaming God for the circumstances before me. Sometimes I feel like a burden and sometimes I wished I was never born. Life is cruel and learning from you mistakes doesn't count anymore. I have been told about how things would be fine by my mates. Encouraging words to keep me going, but it's simply not working. I would have committed suicide but I don't want to put my mum through that pain. She is my most favorite person in the universe. "Tress I'm talking to you. What are you doing awake?" I could feel my mum presence right behind me and dare not move. "Mum I just woke up and was just scrolling through Facebook sorry". I said after waking up from my trance. "You know the rules,no phones at night. Don't make me believe you have a boyfriend. Goodnight and put off that phone. Mum loves you. Goodnight Tress". "Goodnight Mum,sorry for breaking the rules. It won't happen again. I love you too". I smiled at her and watched her leave. I was actually texting my boyfriend.. Thank goodness he didn't call tho. That was really close, didn't want my mum to worry about me....Complete
*ON HOLD* *Previously known as Expiration Date* Every single day I get up and I feel my heart stop- just a bit. This is not me- I am not this person I let everyone see, someone happy and good humored. I am scared. But who isn't right? I can't let people hurt me, so I hurt myself. I don't want your pity- I want closure. I want to know what happened that night- the night that changed everything. And even though I am denying it- I want to share with someone to get reassurance of the fact that I am not mentally ill. ***Acknowledgments*** Thanks: To my readers- thank you for being there and bearing with me. To wreckedhavoc for my awesome-saucylicious cover. To CrimzSky for encouraging me to start this mess. To everyone who has critiqued my work and given me things to improve on. To everyone commenting on this story and telling me what you think. And most importantly to my cat, random things running through my mind, and caffeine. Nah, just kidding thank you guys for giving my book a shot- I never thought I'd be able to achieve what I have (even thought that is not that much in comparison to bestsellers). Dash
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