Arden of Eden

Arden of Eden

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WpMetadataNoticeHuling na-publish Wed, Jun 12, 2013
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Fiction
Romance
I didn’t know how I ended up here. Both literally and physically speaking. Where upon the course of my life did I exactly stumble and fall? Each day after my downhill spiral seems like an endless tunnel heading nowhere. Now, I finally get to stop and analyze and I can’t seem to find my footing. I lost my purpose. I lost the drive I used to contain. I once was so passionate about every and anything; about life, adventures, chances and possible opportunities. What happened? That was a stupid question. I know exactly what happened and what didn’t. The perfect painted picture got ruined and discarded. Life threw me out of my chair and I was not prepared to the fall. A new portrait was created and it was not the same. Nothing will ever to be the same. Ever.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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