Story cover for What I Think by Itsnickimoose
What I Think
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Ongoing, First published Feb 06, 2016
Rainy evening, im here sitting lonely with myself. Barely breathing, thinking how am i suppose to comfort myself in this situation. I was fcking doing everything to make every person closed to me, happy. Little they know i, myself have a problem of being happy. TIRED. I'M FUCKING TIRED AND I DONT KNOW WHY. IM FUCKING TIRED. TIRED OF FAKING EVERYTHING. And this is one of my greatest pain; THE MOMENT I WANTED TO CRY ALL MY SHITS IN LIFE, ALL THE PAINS AND ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKES MY LIFE HEAVY, THE MOMENT I WANTED TO CRY IT ALL OUT BUT IT JUST CANT. MY EYES WASNT ALLOWING ME TO DO IT, AND IT HURTS EVEN MORE TO JUST BEAR IT ALL ALONE. IT HURTS THAT I FEEL LONELY THO I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS. IM FCKING IN PAIN. LORD, Please let me cry it just once. Please. This is the moment im willing to let you, to let me cry.let me.
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When the only thing you wanted to hear, after all the pain suddenly becomes the reason to make you so damn depressed again making you remember something happened and you just can't let go of the pain all you want is to cry so damn hard and just share your every burden with the person from where it started. But then you stop and walk past him as if its alright because you know he won't understand. And that is the last thing on the earth to cry in front of him and he would never hold you back ,wipe your tears and tell you that its all gonna be alright which would never happen. So i wanna keep quite and go on as i have always done as if nothing happened. Damn! all i want is to get this freaking heart out of me and throw it away its all MY Fault .He do not need to feel guilty for that he do not need to say sorry for that after all I was the one who fall in and it will always be there...no matter how hard i try its just won't listen and it never had.