Story cover for The Daily Life of Ana James by joiningthedots
The Daily Life of Ana James
  • WpView
    LECTURAS 1,474
  • WpVote
    Votos 76
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    Partes 23
  • WpHistory
    Hora 2h 22m
  • WpView
    LECTURAS 1,474
  • WpVote
    Votos 76
  • WpPart
    Partes 23
  • WpHistory
    Hora 2h 22m
Concluida, Has publicado jun 13, 2013
I wish to be a butterfly.

Free to do whatever I want.

To fly where I wish.

But I can't.

I can't do this because of something that happened about three years a go.

Someone that I trusted betrayed me.

Now I find it hard to trust people-

to even trust myself.

It's hard because now trust, to me, is linked to bad experiences

But what if, you could trust someone and not regret it?

What if, someone made your life better?

Not necessarily because of the words they said, or the actions they did-

but because of their presence-

Their very presence was enough to make you feel happier.
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They say what's in the past keep it in the past but I wanted to know all about my past. It was things that I didn't know and that I wanted and needed to know! But my life turned upside down when my past is exactly what I should have left alone. Now if you ask me how it all began, I don't exactly remember but I know it started when I moved in with my grandma who I haven't met in all my twenty years of living. I have been in and out of foster homes since I can remember, living with families I knew nothing about. Being the outcast and them constantly asking me what's wrong because I simply did not speak. The only thing that kept me sane was my good grades throughout school. I got the satisfaction of doing the one thing that people kept telling me over and over I couldn't do. I stayed to myself and graduated high school with honors, getting a full-ride scholarship to any college of my choice. Of course, by having this accomplishment, it didn't make it any easier for me between my foster families. To them, I became the girl who was better than them. But I didn't care because when I turned twenty I finally got to start making my own choices. This is where I wonder if the first choice I made was the right one. The first choice I made was to go live off-campus with my grandmother during my first semester in college. I ask myself how could I be so stupid? But you will see just how stupid I was. Or was I?
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-Let's get this straight. From a dead end job to a useless crazy ex boyfriend- my happiness is with my best friend yet the fear of our relationship ending completely scares me and id rather fake it and be in fear than find out and never be happy. It sucks, seeing him everyday and knowing what i feel for him and how deep those feelings go is painful...- But when he comes around everything changes for the best and for the worst. As a whole they are deeply loved and equally as hated by others but the love from one another is undeniable, if only she wasnt so selfish with her choices and words- -Lying, cheating, sneaking, crying- many acts and emotions come from within when there's someone you love unaware of that love.. Possibly growing to love someone else right before your eyes..Its gut wrenching, i know because ive fucked up. Its worse when you're aware of the harm you cause yourself and others but dont care how the outcome turns out to be. Why would it matter how it effects you if youre used to pain and people leaving? it wouldnt. All because you take comfort in your own mind and mental illness, once you realize you have freewill it may become a bad thing if youre careless.- - Gabriella White.