Sometimes I'm Not Okay
- Reads 202
- Votes 41
- Parts 7
Ongoing5m
Last published Thu, Jul 6, 2017
The days that everything seems to fall apart I know it's being put into place but I can't help but feel like my world has hitched along with my breath. I can't help but feel all hope is as lost as my logic is. In those times I can't help how I feel but I can write it down and so this is just that. It's the moments when I don't know what to do but pray to god he help me. Because I know in him there is hope.
This is Copying Righted please don't steal
from me. It's not cool. All ideas are mine.
All Rights Reserved
#304
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Thursday
The depths of my mind and dialogue of it all. My thoughts. My fakeness. My lies. My confessions. My Raw mental conversations. My weakness. My complicated life. The nonsense that creeps up in my head when I'm thinking. There is no need to understand. There is no need to feel pity. This is Thursday.
Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Complete
The Light in the Dark (Completed)
Cover made by the amazing @mikeyspizzadope (go check them out they're cool) It's 3 A.M., and you can't sleep. Your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest. Your ears are ringing, echoing in your brain, and everything hurts so badly. Your vision is going blurry as you try to fight back the tears, and you're wondering why you even try anymore. At one point or another, most of us have experienced the feeling of worthlessness, shame, or guilt. We feel like we're at rock bottom, and it seems like nothing will ever get any better no matter how hard we try. One thing we do know for sure, though, is that where there is dark, there is bound to be light, no matter how small that speck may be. There's always hope, no matter how far out of reach it may seem. There's always light in the dark. TW/CW: mentions of anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts. "I know that even when things seem dark and at rock bottom, there's always hope. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. As small as that little shaft of light may seem, it's not out of reach." - something a friend of mine once told me All of the poems in this book have been written by me. Completed on August 22, 2020Complete
Words Unspoken
There is a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street, and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the other eye. Open your hands, if you want to be held. Sit down in this circle. Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the shepherd's love filling you. At night, your beloved wanders. Don't accept consolations. Close your mouth against food. Taste the food. You moan, "She left me." "He left me." Twenty more will come. Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence. Flow down and down in always widening rings of being. There's a strange frenzy in my head, of birds, flying, each particle circulating on its own. Is the one I love everywhere? Drunks fear the police, but the police are drunk too. People in this town love them both like different chess pieces. ----------------------------------- All things that we hide in our hearts eat us alive. This book is - full of emotions, love, care and agitation. Well, you need to read this to know what's in. Moreover, It consists of quotes, snippets, poems, bits of advice...Ummm simply deep and random stuff. Go Ahead! HIGHEST rank #1 in poetry as of 19.02.2018 ----------------------------------- 4/10/17 --- 19/04/18Complete
Happy tune #Wattys 2017
Never take life too seriously.. Spare a moment for love :) ...Am a dreamer and poetry paints my dreams into words :') .................... And you will be wondering why "HAPPY" cause it's a paradox version of life.Complete
The Days With No Sun
Sometimes we fear truth over reality. But things get dark and heavy and we play the blame game. We end up hurting others or ourselves even. We don't think before we act or we don't say before we do. This is the evolution of my madness. A cluster of rants and thoughts and poems for you guys. Everything is written how I wanted it to be rants will be long with few pauses and there will be mistakes I might have skipped over. Aha. Poems at the beginning from when I was 15 years old to now when Im 18. Truly a visual of my writing evolution. Edited by @ChemicalStarling who writes a lot but never posts! Read on, loves. I'll see you on the other side...Complete
The Words I couldn't Say
This is a place for me to put all the things I wish I said but I just couldn't. These are a way for me to "say" these things without actually saying them to the person I want to. I probably won't ever go back or read any of these because it's like revisiting a bad memory so don't expect much in terms of editing. Also I wouldn't consider this poetry but it is laid out that way. WARNING Talk of depression, suicide, anxiety, and self harm. Don't read if you don't like things like that and may get triggered. I don't mean to cause anyone problems of any sort, but these are the things I feel and can't help. Please keep negativity away as this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. Thank you. Highest rankings: 99 in sadpoems Highest rankings: 118 in iwannadieComplete
Poems of Pain and Solitude
For every person out there that was quiet, not because they chose to be so, but because they were choking in the smoke. Because their opinions were apparently not worth anything. Because they didn't know just how to say what they felt. For every person that is consumed by their own thoughts, the derision from the outside world only making it worse. For every soul that was drowning in remorse and anguish on restless nights. For every soul that says I love you in the dark and in the mirror because no one else does. For the floors we would pace while anxiety sunk its teeth into us. For the mirrors that we would break while shame echoed its laugh in our caged walls. For the hearts that would ache while loneliness was the only company. For every moment of pain and solitude in this world that feels too cruel for such young and frail minds.Complete
Dark Poetry
just some poems I wrote when I'm feeling low or in a dark place, my poems help me cope with my depression and other mental problems it also helps me from going all the way down in my dark times. these poems are dark, depressing and some have suicide in them, if you don't like poems like that I wouldn't recommend reading this. If you do like poems like that then please read on. Also if you read these please do not comment that you feel sorry for me, I did not put my poems up for pity or sympathy. nor send me messages wanted to know all about my demons because you see me as entertainment to you now. Thank you. -Skellington_girl95 Also if you enjoyed read these poems, I suggest you read book 2 of this one.Complete
The Pain is all worth it.
My imperfect journey of maintaining God in our lives.Complete
The depths of my mind and dialogue of it all. My thoughts. My fakeness. My lies. My confessions. My Raw mental conversations. My weakness. My complicated life. The nonsense that creeps up in my head when I'm thinking. There is no need to understand. There is no need to feel pity. This is Thursday.
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