psychedelia | phan - emma - Wattpad

psychedelia | phan

thenightlockfox

Reads 46,379
Votes 2,768
Parts 18
Time 2h 1m

Reads 46,379
Votes 2,768
Parts 18
Time 2h 1m

thenightlockfox

Mature

amazingphil dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire dark depression dilhowlter drugs eatingdisorder fluff phan phil phillester psychosis wattys2016 youtube

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about.

But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan.

And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester?

Or will it be too late...

WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.All Rights Reserved

amazingphil dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire dark depression dilhowlter drugs eatingdisorder fluff phan phil phillester psychosis wattys2016 youtube

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18 parts

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My Blood, Your Bones - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)

Moving ~ PHAN by krysiice

When Dan start school in a new place, he and Phil become friends fast. But what happens when things become to much? What happens when the only relief seems to be in harming? What happens when they start catching feelings for one another? But what happens when what Dan's been forced to do his whole life, emerges again, threatening to possibly separate them forever, especially when they need the other the most? *Contains: -fluff, smut -descriptive issues such as: self harm, abuse, suicidal thoughts PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY THESE THINGS stay safe *hugs*

Smile {A Phanfiction} by lPhantomWriterl

Dan loved his smile. That was probably his favorite thing about Phil Lester. Although he kept on smiling, Phil was torn on the inside. Although he kept on smiling, sadness washed over him. He kept on smiling, for Dan. Dan has always loved Phil, but Phil's feelings for Dan have just started. They both have doubts that the other person will ever love them, so much so that the two come up with ways to mask or get over their feelings. Dan hides in his room, writing about the his dream relationship with Phil. Phil tries to find a new person to fill the gaping hole inside him where Dan was supposed be. Will they ever realize what's really going on between them?

Touch - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

"'I miss you.' 'What do you mean? I'm right here.' He shook his head. 'No, I mean I miss seeing you. I miss your smile. Seeing you smile made me so happy. I'm still so upset that I'll never see it again.' I breathed in, a bit shaky. 'You've just got to remember that if I'm with you, I'm always smiling, okay?' 'I still miss seeing you. If I could have just one opportunity to be able to see again, even just for a moment, I would spend my time just watching you smile. That's all I would want....'" After a horrible accident, Phil loses his sight and goes completely blind. Dan's help has been amazing to get him through it, but Dan can't help falling in love with his best friend - now in daily need of his care and attention. This story is about love and trust, and how two friends - much more than friends - overcome the odds of a disability, and how they realize that no matter how difficult it gets, they will always have each other. (Warnings: none! :D Fluffy, a little dash of angst, looong)

Bring Me Home // Phan by rey_isnotemo

Dan is secretly suffering from depression. On the outside he seems bubbly and happy, but on the inside he wishes for it to all be over. When his friend, Phil, unexpectedly invites him to stay at his apartment, Dan struggles to keep up the glass that was protecting him. Will Phil help clean up the pieces? TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ INCLUDES SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND EATING DISORDERS. STAY SAFE EVERYBODY. Completed 19/12/18 Best Ranking: #1 in danandphilfanfiction

Too Close (Phan) by WellThisIsAwkward49

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.

The Only One (Phan) [COMPLETE] by underscorekacie

"Phil Lester is the literal sunshine of my life. If I didn't have him in my life, I may have been dead by now. Every day still sucks, but whenever I'm with Phil, my heart remembers that life is worth living. The only reason my life is worth living is to be next to Phil. To see him smile, to hear him laugh, to listen to his voice, to watch him move...everything. Everything that he does brings the much-needed light into my life." Dan Howell has many struggles within himself, despite his successful YouTube career. The only one who truly helps him is his best mate, Phil Lester. Dan has been madly in love with Phil since the first day they met. However, Dan knows that it is inevitable that Phil will never return the feeling because he is only interested in women. As Dan attempts to battle his own demons, Phil seems to be quite happy and even ends up dating a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, this makes Dan's mental state even worse. What will happen to Dan? Will he ever confess his strong feelings for his best friend? Will he ever overcome the ongoing war in his head?

vemod | phan by phanlusions

completed ~~ Dan comes from an abusive home, and the bullies at school aren't much better. Just when he thought his time was up, he meets a boy named Phil and thinks that life may finally be worth living. ~~ self harm, suicide, fluff, etc. ~~ vemod (n.) a tender sadness or pensive melancholy; the calm feeling that something emotionally significant is over and never will be back -----------------------------------------------------------------

Drugs ; Phan by sinkingfandomships

In which Dan is a punk and rude to everyone with drugs problems, and Phil is a quiet shy nerd who reads a lot of books. Phil is openly gay while Dan isn't. Dan gets into a bunch of fights and always gets in trouble and Phil doesn't understand why he acts how he does. dans always been interested as to why Phil never talks, so he decides to ask, hoping it goes well. But what will happen when Phil learns that smoking isn't all Dan does? written&edited by: denis

Undercover (Phan) by phansauce97

After recovering from a family tragedy, Phil Lester does his best to try to continue with his life like before. It's difficult, but he manages. His mother is still a bit of a mess and he doesn't talk to his brother as much as he'd like to, but he manages. Phil's friends are aware of all that's happened and they try to comfort him, but they don't understand everything in the way that Phil wishes they could. One day, however, a new student arrives at Phil's high school on a motorcycle and wearing nothing but the color black. He's dashing, quiet, and overall, mysterious. He becomes the talk of the school, everyone wanting to know about this mysterious newcomer and where he came from. Phil's curiosity gets the best of him, so when he spots the new kid in his chemistry class, he can't help but introduce himself to who he would soon know as Dan. Dan actually ends up being an extremely cool and nice person, and Phil is excited to get along with him and form a friendship. However, there's something off about Dan. Dan, also known as Agent Ten, just lost his greatest mentor, and has been sent on what he's been told will be an extremely difficult mission to perform an assassination. His job is to meet, study, and assassinate Phillip Lester. When Dan finds his target introducing himself to Dan, Dan begins to think that this will be his easiest assassin to date...That is, until all of his assassination attempts fail. And, after getting to know his target a little better, Dan finds himself falling hopelessly in love with Phil Lester, and therefore unable to perform the assassination as instructed. However, there's something off about Phil Lester. And when they find out each other's secrets... All Hell breaks loose as Phil tries to get a grip on his sanity, and Dan, his humanity.

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Slide 1 of 10

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan cover

Moving ~ PHAN cover

Smile {A Phanfiction} cover

Touch - Phan cover

Bring Me Home // Phan cover

Too Close (Phan) cover

The Only One (Phan) [COMPLETE] cover

vemod | phan cover

Drugs ; Phan cover

Undercover (Phan) cover

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan

Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)