psychedelia | phan - emma - Wattpad

psychedelia | phan

thenightlockfox

Reads 46,401
Votes 2,768
Parts 18
Time 2h 1m

Reads 46,401
Votes 2,768
Parts 18
Time 2h 1m

thenightlockfox

Mature

amazingphil dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire dark depression dilhowlter drugs eatingdisorder fluff phan phil phillester psychosis wattys2016 youtube

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about.

But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan.

And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester?

Or will it be too late...

WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.All Rights Reserved

amazingphil dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire dark depression dilhowlter drugs eatingdisorder fluff phan phil phillester psychosis wattys2016 youtube

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18 parts

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All My Fault (a Dan and Phil fan fiction) by Saffron123xx

After Phil moved out to be with his new girlfriend Dan has mostly given up on life. No one would ever love him. No one would ever care for him, not the same way Phil did. He can only recall their memories. But they are starting to fade, everything seems foggy in Dan's mind. Nothing is laid out for him. With all hope gone Dan makes some stupid decisions, one where he needs Phil. ***TW: this story contains love, swearing and attempts of suicide****

Outcast ✧ Phan by cuddlephan

Dan Howell has telekinesis - a power just like out of a comic book. Yet instead of protecting the universe as a brave superhero, he hides. He hides his power and himself, fearing nothing more than getting attached to somebody and dragging them down. Of course, Phil Lester, the new kid in school, just had to come waltzing in, destroying his entire view on nearly everything in the worst (and best) ways possible. Phil's like a drug, and boy, is Dan addicted. Warning: contains self harm, depression, boyxboy, references towards abuse, and other possible triggers or content you may not be comfortable with. you can message me in private for the specifics if you feel you need it and remember to stay safe. (Top: #89 in Fanfiction, #1 in Phan!)

Smile, Dan by kittylover573ds

DISCLAIMER: This story is mature because it will have some self harm in it. It will also have some swearing due to that's how Dan actually talks. This is not about Phan being real. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Now onto what it is really about: Dan Howell is becoming more and more depressed. His family, his community, not even his best friend, Phil Lester, can help him. He believes he's a lost cause, and he's a mistake. He tries to hide it best he can, but some nights, it's just too much. During this, he's lost his will to smile. He'll fake smiles for videos and pictures, but he's lost a reason to genuinely smile.

Speak up already - Phan by geniusotaku

Phil doesn't talks. Well, not anymore. The last time he said something, was when he didn't hate himself. And that was a long time ago. But now, everything is different. He must struggle with depression, whilst new boy Dan Howell desperately attempts to win him over. [Warning: this could be triggering at some points]

Drugs ; Phan by sinkingfandomships

In which Dan is a punk and rude to everyone with drugs problems, and Phil is a quiet shy nerd who reads a lot of books. Phil is openly gay while Dan isn't. Dan gets into a bunch of fights and always gets in trouble and Phil doesn't understand why he acts how he does. dans always been interested as to why Phil never talks, so he decides to ask, hoping it goes well. But what will happen when Phil learns that smoking isn't all Dan does? written&edited by: denis

Annoying sunshine // Phan {COMPLETED} by derailedphantrash

CONTAINS SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION Dan: the anti social kid at the back of the class , dressed in black lost in his own world . He has no friends , no family and he liked it that way . He had secrets , ones that he could never share unless psychiatric hospital sound good to you . Phil : the over enthusiastic new kid that's smiling though his pain . The boy that lost everything yet still fakes his smile . He looks like the sun yet feels like the dark sky yet know one will ever know . Phil doesn't have secrets but he has another person within himself , the true Phil , the one that wants to put a bullet in his head and die like the rest of his family seems to do yet this Phil is hidden under a mask of bright clothes and smiles . When Dan and Phil meet at the back of a class right in the very corner dans appearance reminds him of his true self , Phil reminds Dan about the old him the one before he lost hope . Dan hates Phil he's to happy and it sickens Dan . Phil is intrigued by Dan he's to mysterious and Phil loves it . They both have secrets and they both have issues . Will they end up bonding or colliding ?

Life Is Precious, Just Like Him - Phil Lester X Depressed! Reader by noathenerd

You met Dan in College and became close friends, even dropped out at the same time as him because of overwhelming stress, and your Depression and Anxiety. Your parents won't take you back in because they're abusive and always have been, so you have no where to go. That is until Dan saves you and takes you in. At his place you met Phil and instantly there's something about him that makes you fall in love. Phil and you bond immediately and he promises to help you through your depression and other problems, no matter how hard it may be.

Bring Me Home // Phan by rey_isnotemo

Dan is secretly suffering from depression. On the outside he seems bubbly and happy, but on the inside he wishes for it to all be over. When his friend, Phil, unexpectedly invites him to stay at his apartment, Dan struggles to keep up the glass that was protecting him. Will Phil help clean up the pieces? TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ INCLUDES SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND EATING DISORDERS. STAY SAFE EVERYBODY. Completed 19/12/18 Best Ranking: #1 in danandphilfanfiction

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)

Too Close (Phan) by WellThisIsAwkward49

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.

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Slide 1 of 10

All My Fault (a Dan and Phil fan fiction) cover

Outcast ✧ Phan cover

Smile, Dan cover

Speak up already - Phan cover

Drugs ; Phan cover

Annoying sunshine // Phan {COMPLETED} cover

Life Is Precious, Just Like Him - Phil Lester X Depressed! Reader cover

Bring Me Home // Phan cover

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan cover

Too Close (Phan) cover

All My Fault (a Dan and Phil fan fiction)

After Phil moved out to be with his new girlfriend Dan has mostly given up on life. No one would ever love him. No one would ever care for him, not the same way Phil did. He can only recall their memories. But they are starting to fade, everything seems foggy in Dan's mind. Nothing is laid out for him. With all hope gone Dan makes some stupid decisions, one where he needs Phil. *TW: this story contains love, swearing and attempts of suicide**