psychedelia | phan - emma - Wattpad

psychedelia | phan

thenightlockfox

Reads 46,361
Votes 2,768
Parts 18
Time 2h 1m

Reads 46,361
Votes 2,768
Parts 18
Time 2h 1m

thenightlockfox

Mature

amazingphil dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire dark depression dilhowlter drugs eatingdisorder fluff phan phil phillester psychosis wattys2016 youtube

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about.

But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan.

And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester?

Or will it be too late...

WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.All Rights Reserved

amazingphil dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire dark depression dilhowlter drugs eatingdisorder fluff phan phil phillester psychosis wattys2016 youtube

Table of contents

18 parts

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Night by writtennotsung

"Life isn't temporary anymore and death isn't permanent, the lines so blurred it's best if you just avoid thinking about it." The world has ended. Humanity is on the brink of death. The apocalypse is real, has been for a long time now, and life will never be the same. Phil is afraid, afraid of losing his one tie to this world that despite it all keeps him going with the desire to keep them both alive, with a love he can't admit. Dan is worn down but determined, not willing to give in despite the overwhelming circumstance. He'd sooner die than lose Phil to anything. They look out for each other, separation is out of the question. In a world where everything familiar is dead and gone, just one person standing by your side can be the difference between sanity and chaos, and for the two of them, the other is that person. But how can love survive, when death is looming and one half doesn't even realize it exists? The world is a dangerous place, and even with the help of their not-quite human companion Cat and and group of newfound friends, there are new, unfound struggles in store for the pair and a secret neither of them will see coming. The objective is simple: stay alive. Doing so, however, is easier said than done. ~COMPLETED 11/6/2018~

Touch - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

"'I miss you.' 'What do you mean? I'm right here.' He shook his head. 'No, I mean I miss seeing you. I miss your smile. Seeing you smile made me so happy. I'm still so upset that I'll never see it again.' I breathed in, a bit shaky. 'You've just got to remember that if I'm with you, I'm always smiling, okay?' 'I still miss seeing you. If I could have just one opportunity to be able to see again, even just for a moment, I would spend my time just watching you smile. That's all I would want....'" After a horrible accident, Phil loses his sight and goes completely blind. Dan's help has been amazing to get him through it, but Dan can't help falling in love with his best friend - now in daily need of his care and attention. This story is about love and trust, and how two friends - much more than friends - overcome the odds of a disability, and how they realize that no matter how difficult it gets, they will always have each other. (Warnings: none! :D Fluffy, a little dash of angst, looong)

All My Fault (a Dan and Phil fan fiction) by Saffron123xx

After Phil moved out to be with his new girlfriend Dan has mostly given up on life. No one would ever love him. No one would ever care for him, not the same way Phil did. He can only recall their memories. But they are starting to fade, everything seems foggy in Dan's mind. Nothing is laid out for him. With all hope gone Dan makes some stupid decisions, one where he needs Phil. ***TW: this story contains love, swearing and attempts of suicide****

Drugs ; Phan by sinkingfandomships

In which Dan is a punk and rude to everyone with drugs problems, and Phil is a quiet shy nerd who reads a lot of books. Phil is openly gay while Dan isn't. Dan gets into a bunch of fights and always gets in trouble and Phil doesn't understand why he acts how he does. dans always been interested as to why Phil never talks, so he decides to ask, hoping it goes well. But what will happen when Phil learns that smoking isn't all Dan does? written&edited by: denis

A day in the clouds by Rekindledlove

Dan Howell suffers from schizophrenia. The voices in his head tell him to do horrible things to himself and others, but the only thing grounding him to earth is the clouds in the sky. Phil Lester has sever depression and is struggling to keep going each day. All his life he had been a mer shell of a man. When they meet one day by fate, how will it all play out?

Smile, Dan by kittylover573ds

DISCLAIMER: This story is mature because it will have some self harm in it. It will also have some swearing due to that's how Dan actually talks. This is not about Phan being real. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Now onto what it is really about: Dan Howell is becoming more and more depressed. His family, his community, not even his best friend, Phil Lester, can help him. He believes he's a lost cause, and he's a mistake. He tries to hide it best he can, but some nights, it's just too much. During this, he's lost his will to smile. He'll fake smiles for videos and pictures, but he's lost a reason to genuinely smile.

Too Close (Phan) by WellThisIsAwkward49

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.

Undercover (Phan) by phansauce97

After recovering from a family tragedy, Phil Lester does his best to try to continue with his life like before. It's difficult, but he manages. His mother is still a bit of a mess and he doesn't talk to his brother as much as he'd like to, but he manages. Phil's friends are aware of all that's happened and they try to comfort him, but they don't understand everything in the way that Phil wishes they could. One day, however, a new student arrives at Phil's high school on a motorcycle and wearing nothing but the color black. He's dashing, quiet, and overall, mysterious. He becomes the talk of the school, everyone wanting to know about this mysterious newcomer and where he came from. Phil's curiosity gets the best of him, so when he spots the new kid in his chemistry class, he can't help but introduce himself to who he would soon know as Dan. Dan actually ends up being an extremely cool and nice person, and Phil is excited to get along with him and form a friendship. However, there's something off about Dan. Dan, also known as Agent Ten, just lost his greatest mentor, and has been sent on what he's been told will be an extremely difficult mission to perform an assassination. His job is to meet, study, and assassinate Phillip Lester. When Dan finds his target introducing himself to Dan, Dan begins to think that this will be his easiest assassin to date...That is, until all of his assassination attempts fail. And, after getting to know his target a little better, Dan finds himself falling hopelessly in love with Phil Lester, and therefore unable to perform the assassination as instructed. However, there's something off about Phil Lester. And when they find out each other's secrets... All Hell breaks loose as Phil tries to get a grip on his sanity, and Dan, his humanity.

Outcast ✧ Phan by cuddlephan

Dan Howell has telekinesis - a power just like out of a comic book. Yet instead of protecting the universe as a brave superhero, he hides. He hides his power and himself, fearing nothing more than getting attached to somebody and dragging them down. Of course, Phil Lester, the new kid in school, just had to come waltzing in, destroying his entire view on nearly everything in the worst (and best) ways possible. Phil's like a drug, and boy, is Dan addicted. Warning: contains self harm, depression, boyxboy, references towards abuse, and other possible triggers or content you may not be comfortable with. you can message me in private for the specifics if you feel you need it and remember to stay safe. (Top: #89 in Fanfiction, #1 in Phan!)

Bring Me Home // Phan by rey_isnotemo

Dan is secretly suffering from depression. On the outside he seems bubbly and happy, but on the inside he wishes for it to all be over. When his friend, Phil, unexpectedly invites him to stay at his apartment, Dan struggles to keep up the glass that was protecting him. Will Phil help clean up the pieces? TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ INCLUDES SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND EATING DISORDERS. STAY SAFE EVERYBODY. Completed 19/12/18 Best Ranking: #1 in danandphilfanfiction

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Slide 1 of 10

Touch - Phan cover

All My Fault (a Dan and Phil fan fiction) cover

Drugs ; Phan cover

A day in the clouds cover

Smile, Dan cover

Too Close (Phan) cover

Undercover (Phan) cover

Outcast ✧ Phan cover

Bring Me Home // Phan cover

Night

"Life isn't temporary anymore and death isn't permanent, the lines so blurred it's best if you just avoid thinking about it." The world has ended. Humanity is on the brink of death. The apocalypse is real, has been for a long time now, and life will never be the same. Phil is afraid, afraid of losing his one tie to this world that despite it all keeps him going with the desire to keep them both alive, with a love he can't admit. Dan is worn down but determined, not willing to give in despite the overwhelming circumstance. He'd sooner die than lose Phil to anything. They look out for each other, separation is out of the question. In a world where everything familiar is dead and gone, just one person standing by your side can be the difference between sanity and chaos, and for the two of them, the other is that person. But how can love survive, when death is looming and one half doesn't even realize it exists? The world is a dangerous place, and even with the help of their not-quite human companion Cat and and group of newfound friends, there are new, unfound struggles in store for the pair and a secret neither of them will see coming. The objective is simple: stay alive. Doing so, however, is easier said than done. ~COMPLETED 11/6/2018~