Funny Jokes & Quotes
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Here are some funny quotes that are sure to make you :)
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Vampire's Pet
The world had gone to hell long ago, taken over by the vampire race. In order to keep some sort of peace in our land, the Vampire Lords made a consecutive agreement. The rich and powerful humans could survive just as they had been, untouched by the vampires save for the occasional blood collection, or so they thought In reality, we were all under their control. Castles spread out throughout our land, one landing in each city. Each castle varied in the number of vampires residing there, but all of them carried a Lord. The Lords were the ones in charge in every city, whether we liked it or not. The vampires often roam through the city, making sure that everyone was in order and no one stepped out of line. If you stepped out of line, you died, end of story. Even if the rich were still under their control, their lives were still better than the poor. The poorest lives held a much worse fate. The men were to be put to work as slaves, whether that meant serving a specific vampire, or just building their castles, they were slaves. The women were to be pets. Pets were the lowest rank you could have. They were forced into cages that were too small to stand in with collars around their necks. They spent their lives in pet shops, just waiting for the dreadful day that they'll be bought. They were treated like animals, trained into what their master wanted, and punished if they misbehaved. Those who were lucky enough to live through that, we're to be slaughtered for their blood at age twenty-five in an act to make sure that our population would stay steady. I was born into this world. Born into this world full of blood-sucking monsters. Except, I was one of the lucky ones. Was. It all ended for me when I was 12, when I was taken away from the last bit of hope and family that I had left. Ever since then, I've lived in a cage, just rotting away, waiting, dreading for the day that some monster would make me his. This is my life. I am a pet. ~~~ Cover by: @mshacakeCompleta
I Was Never Yours
When Arianna marries billionaire Zach Price to save her family, she doesn't expect to fall in love with a man who'd always consider her a second choice. An unexpected turn of events brings the couple closer together, but can a marriage based on lies and deceit ever survive? ***** When Arianna's older sister, Olivia, decides to run away on the day of her wedding, Arianna is forced to take her place to save her family from ruin. But her new husband is angry, heartbroken, and seems to hate her guts. The cold, elusive billionaire Zach Price has never quite struck Arianna as the kind of man she'd want to spend her entire life with. She was more than content with her sweet, thoughtful boyfriend Noah, but when circumstances force them together, Zach and Arianna's hearts get entangled in a way she never saw coming. As the couple grows closer, they must battle the demons of their past and of the lives they left behind - especially when Olivia returns and decides she wants Zach all for herself. Content/Trigger Warning: This story contains scenes of violence and sexual abuse, and mentions abortion and miscarriage. [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]] Cover designed by Ren TachibanaCompleta
"Bound By Blood"
Nine siblings. One betrayal. A legacy drenched in blood. Once a united family, the Rathores were shattered by a betrayal so deep it tore them apart for years. Now, fate has brought them back together-but with scars, secrets, and centuries-old vengeance lurking in the shadows. Will they heal... or will the truth destroy what little remains of their bond? In this story, blood bleeds secrets-and family is both a blessing and a curse.Completa
Hired To Love
Henley agrees to pretend to date millionaire Bennett Calloway for a fee, falling in love as she wonders - how is he involved in her brother's false conviction? ****** Henley Linden's brother is in jail for a crime he didn't commit, and she'll take any job to raise the money needed to free him. Soon, she's agreed to pretend to date millionaire Bennett Calloway for ten thousand dollars, so his mother will ease up the pressure on him to find a wife. But once Henley is enmeshed in Bennett's world, he falls for her, and she starts to have feelings for him as well. Despite her romance with Bennett, as she grows closer to the Calloways, Henley realizes they are somehow involved in her brother's conviction. Journeying deeper into a world of wealth and conspiracies, Henley is forced to rely on Bennett, though doing so could cost her everything. [[word count: 200,000-250,000 words]]Completa
How To Be The Best Third Wheel
How To Be The Best Third Wheel is now published as a Paperback & E-book by Wattpad Books! As a Wattpad reader, you can also now access the Original Edition for free and the Wattpad Books Published Edition here upon purchase. It's the last year of high school, and everything has changed . . . ***** After a summer spent in the Philippines, Lara Dela Cruz is eager to start her senior year and, most importantly, reunite with her three besties. But what she did not expect was to show up on the first day of school to all three of her friends now in relationships. Fighting for their attention, catching some new and confusing feelings for long-time frenemy James, and wading through the pressures of post-high-school plans all have Lara reeling. And to make matters worse, Lara's beautiful and untrustworthy cousin conveniently appears and wiggles her way right between her and James' budding relationship. Feeling like a third wheel in more ways than one, Lara must learn to accept that change is inevitable, love is complicated, and being the odd one out is sometimes where inner power is found. [[Word count: 100,000-150,000 words]] Cover design by Jill Caldwell Wattys 2020 YA fiction Winner Wattpad Books Prize WinnerCompleta
All I Want Is You Baby (BoyXBoy)
"I think that your brother is hotter than you. I'm leaving you" Kate Roberts, a high school student, is always referred as a 'good for nothing', while his twin sister Anna Roberts, is the queen of her class and is currently dating the hottest guy of the school, Brandon Johnson, who is often called the 'prince' of Kerlin County High. He is the best at everything he does. But suddenly, he dumps Anna, know the reason why? Check out the hottest and cutest love story, but it's just a bit different....how exactly? Well, you surely checked the genres. "I'm so fucking fabulous- I pee glitter, shit cupcakes and fart rainbows!!" All I Want Copyright 2018Completa
# 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄, ⁿᵒᵗᵗⁱ ᵒˢᵃᵐᵃ
︎♡︎ 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇| he hates her and she hates him. But is it really hate? BOOK 1 ------------------- "You can't fight fire with fire." He said as she rolled her eyes at his response. "That's why we complete eachother 𝘋𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘺." started-december 26th 2023 published- january 17th 2024 ended-march 4th 2024Completa
Falling for my Husband
She is sweet and kind. He is rude and arrogant. She loves talking. He finds solace in silence. She is clumsy and fun loving. He is cold and reserved. She is beautiful. He is ruggedly handsome. She is his princess. He is her devil. Kiara Sharma and Arjun Singhania are two opposite ends of a pole. Bound together by a marriage contract, these two hate each other. Or at least they think they do. Two very different people under the same roof- Chaos are bound to happen. Let's see if they survive this or end up killing each other. Seems like the devil has finally found his match and that too in the form of an angel. A story where the devil finally meets his angel.Completa
3 Stepbrothers
PUBLISHED ON AMAZON --GET PHYSICAL COPY OR EBOOK ALSO AVAILABLE ON BARNES & NOBLE www.sofiaqholand.com Merchandise also available Tori lived with her dad and little sister. She never expected to have a stepmother, much less a stepbrother. But whats worse is not only one stepbrother, not two either. No three stepbrothers. But it gets worse, the three boys just happen to be the three triplet sport stars of the school. The same three boys that have gone out with nearly all those girls that wear short short skirts. The same three boys that are known as 'The Parris Sport Brothers.' What happens when the four are mixed together and agree not to tell anyone that there brothers? What happens when the four are forced to get to know each other? What happens when they have to learn to live with each other? After all its just one year right. All of them heading to college next year. Just one year right? One hectic year of broken hearts, sibling feuds and bonding, of out of nowhere events. Read the book to find out what happens to Tori. Started 2013 Completed 2017 Published 2020Completa
In Naruto: Reborn with a Chat Group
Makoto found himself transmigrated into the world of Naruto, but there was one small problem. He was a mere lackey, someone who didn't even get a single line in the original story. But fate had a twist in store for him. Makoto awakened a Chat Group, where every member was a former powerhouse of Hidden Leaf Village. What's more, with thier consent, he can inherit their bloodline, combat experience, ninjutsu, chakra, and so much more! How will the story of Naruto change with the inclusion of Makoto? How will the group members react upon discovering the current state of the Hidden Leaf Village and the fate of their loved ones? ___________________ What to Expect: • [Chat Group] • [Comedy] • [Weak to Strong] • [Legend with funny personalities] Daily Uploads! Support me at patreon.com/SparkyXD and read upto 30 Advanced Chapters! Please kindly be aware that I do not claim ownership or credit for any pre-existing characters or content associated with the Original Naruto franchise.
My Fake Boyfriend
When Alexis agrees to help the school's player, she must guard the secret that could unravel everything - even as unexpected feelings complicate the game. *** What happens when Alexis Dawson, the 'resident loser' of Redwood High, agrees to help the school's notorious player, Aaron Walker? How can she stop herself from falling for him? It isn't all love and romance - Alexis has a secret of her own. Join them on a journey of jealousy, betrayal, trust, friendship, and love. A little favour just got a whole lot more complicated. *** He was so close, his breath hit my lips. His eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. I stared intently, awaiting his next move. His lips fell near my ear. "Shut up and kiss me" He whispered roughly. A chill shot up my spine. I pulled back, staring at his eyes and leaned in...Completa
Bulletproof (#1) ✔
When Franny learns why former popular boy Tyler fell from grace, she gets thrown head-first into his dangerous world but also closer to his timid heart. ***** Eighteen-year-old Tyler Madden used to have everything. He was captain of the football team, popular, high achiever, and was set to have a successful career. But when a secret too hard to handle comes to light, he turns to underground fighting to deal with the pain. Now, he's in too deep. And when Francesca Howard befriends him at school in the hopes of figuring out what went wrong, she unknowingly gets pulled into the criminal world he's now stuck in. As the two find comfort in each other, they find themselves faced with their impending future and trying to get Tyler out alive. Content/Trigger Warning: this story contains scenes pertaining to drug use, substance abuse, and violence. [#1 in teen fiction, romance and action]Completa
Running with His Child
After being involved with a cold-hearted mafia boss, Robyn Lehman decides its time to run. Little did she know, she was carrying the future heir to his entire empire. Will he find her again? Or will she stay hidden forever? =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= He got up from the bed, pulling up his pants and not taking a glance at me. I lay in the sheets, still dazed by what we had just done. "Get up." He barks, making me jump a bit. I was confused beyond belief. Just moments ago he was making love to me... I did as he said, wrapping the loose sheet around my body, he continued to glare as I did so, and I made my way to his side of the bed. He held out a hand, an angry look on his face. "Don't. Just go. This was a mistake, and it won't happen again." He mutters coldly. I feel my face heating up and my eyes welling with tears. "Oh.." I stare at him, my emotions beginning to be hard to keep in. He laughs, shaking his head. "You thought I cared?" He let out a loud chuckle. "You mean nothing to me. Now go to your room, I don't want to see you in here again."Completa
ALMOST A BRIDE (Open On Annie)
(#1 ChickLit) Annie is having a very bad day! First, she walks in on her boyfriend having sex with another woman (the kinky kind), then she accidentally gets arrested and loses her job. Unfortunately for Annie, her very bad day lands up turning into a very bad year. So when her sister invites her on Holiday to Mauritius, she jumps at the opportunity to get away from it all. But her holiday soon turns into a nightmare when she discovers her ex and 'the other woman' are staying at the same resort. #Anniesbigday Enter Chris, a cynical screenwriter with a bad case of writers block, who agrees to play her 'pretend boyfriend'- so she doesn't land up looking like the single, lonely, pathetic ex.Completa
( مالي وطن في نجد ألا وطنها)
( مالي وطن في نجد ألا وطنها)
Babysitting The Bad Boy
{#1 in teenagers} {#2 in fiction} {#2 in popular} "You better not tell anyone about this." "Aw why not? I'm sure your fandom of desperate girls would love to know that their precious prince charming needs a babysitter." I smile innocently back at his death glare. "I'm serious, nerd. I could make your life hell." ------------------------------------------------------------ Marnie Jones is an ordinary 11th grader. Her only intentions are to get good grades and save money for college with her babysitting job. Everything is going to plan. Until she gets a job babysitting the high school bad boy, Zeke Blakely. The two come from complete different social groups, and Marnie automatically hates Zeke and his big ego and cocky attitude. He's a player. He's dangerous. He's reckless. She's safe with an overthinking problem. As the two are seen hanging around school together, attention gets drawn to Marnie. Which she hates. But she also catches the eye of a handsome jock, too. And why, you ask, does a 17 year old boy need a babysitter? You'll have to read to find out. WARNING: contains vulgar language and mature scenes.Completa
My Overprotective Brothers
For my entire life my older brothers have treated me like I am a fragile baby and they still do. Some of it is for their amusement and some of it is because they are just way too overprotective. There are five of them and one of me, not to mention they are all older, so there isn't much I can do about any of it. Elijah is my oldest brother at 22 and my second oldest brother Easton who is 20. My third oldest brother is Henry and is in his second year of college. Alexander, who goes by Alex, is 15 minutes older than his twin Miles and they are both 17 and are in their first year of college. Then finally I am 15, the youngest brother and am in high school in year 10. My Brothers are super overprotective and treat me like I am a small child and It does not help that I look like I am 12 and am super short. I've got this messy dark brown hair that never cooperates, along with these big brown eyes that seem to make me look even younger. Which does not help my case for my brothers to treat me like I am older. Then my parents are super rich and constantly working so I only see them on holidays so my brothers have raised me. This is my life as the younger brother of 5 brothers. Highest Ratings: #3 Teasing #156 Humor #28 Overprotective #17 Olderbrothers #11 Pranks #36 Brothers #242 GayCompleta![[TRUYỆN TRANH]Nam Hào và Thượng Phong](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/207455450-256-k145633.jpg)
[TRUYỆN TRANH]Nam Hào và Thượng Phong
Tác giả: Bố Lãng Ni . Quốc gia: Trung Quốc From: skycomics Chuyện về hai chàng trai đầy hương vị của biển cả Relax mỗi tuần
The world had gone to hell long ago, taken over by the vampire race. In order to keep some sort of peace in our land, the Vampire Lords made a consecutive agreement. The rich and powerful humans could survive just as they had been, untouched by the vampires save for the occasional blood collection, or so they thought In reality, we were all under their control. Castles spread out throughout our land, one landing in each city. Each castle varied in the number of vampires residing there, but all of them carried a Lord. The Lords were the ones in charge in every city, whether we liked it or not. The vampires often roam through the city, making sure that everyone was in order and no one stepped out of line. If you stepped out of line, you died, end of story. Even if the rich were still under their control, their lives were still better than the poor. The poorest lives held a much worse fate. The men were to be put to work as slaves, whether that meant serving a specific vampire, or just building their castles, they were slaves. The women were to be pets. Pets were the lowest rank you could have. They were forced into cages that were too small to stand in with collars around their necks. They spent their lives in pet shops, just waiting for the dreadful day that they'll be bought. They were treated like animals, trained into what their master wanted, and punished if they misbehaved. Those who were lucky enough to live through that, we're to be slaughtered for their blood at age twenty-five in an act to make sure that our population would stay steady. I was born into this world. Born into this world full of blood-sucking monsters. Except, I was one of the lucky ones. Was. It all ended for me when I was 12, when I was taken away from the last bit of hope and family that I had left. Ever since then, I've lived in a cage, just rotting away, waiting, dreading for the day that some monster would make me his. This is my life. I am a pet. ~~~ Cover by: @mshacake
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