V.A.P.I's Brief Pleasure (boyxboy) - Swan - Wattpad

V.A.P.I's Brief Pleasure (boyxboy)

Reads 10,551
Votes 855
Parts 32
Time 6h 15m

Reads 10,551
Votes 855
Parts 32
Time 6h 15m

Mature

drugs hairyballs larrystylinson meaninglessness nefariouscorporateagendas oranges penises pinkribbon popsicles readerxalien shadycabals solipsism

Hello dear friends. I'm Doctor Josef R. Daneeka,  inventor of the Lips, Nips and Hips line of cosmetics and the Warsaw Skin-E diet pill, world renowned surgeon, generous lover of my wife, and friendly neighbor. 

This screed, this angry little book of lies, exists solely to discredit me, my family and my work. I have no doubt that my corporate enemies (Procter & Gamble, I'm looking at you) are behind this propaganda. I tell you now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: I have never spliced human DNA with extraterrestrial  DNA; I have never manufactured human clones; I am not an opiate addict, and I most certainly do not keep my wife locked up in my cellar with a rhesus monkey.

The (most likely invented) teenager protagonist herein, is a thief and a con artist who will play upon your sympathies in order to manipulate you. Moreover, his tale is nothing more than seedy, smut. While I, like any good citizen, cherish my gay comrades, the deviant author of this work wants  to infest your children's minds with his debaucherous story of teenaged gay sex and drug abuse. Abstinence, dear friends, is all that I preach. Abstinence, and a deep love for God.

Please, friends, avert your eyes.

Oh, and for you ladies out there. Can't seem to get rid of those pesky zits? Fear not. Krazy Koncealer can blitz those zits, lickety-split. Permanently! Available at any pharmacy near you!

Fantabulous cover art by : @Ferret-birdAll Rights Reserved

drugs hairyballs larrystylinson meaninglessness nefariouscorporateagendas oranges penises pinkribbon popsicles readerxalien shadycabals solipsism

Table of contents

32 parts

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Ara, the only woman left alive after a plague, is searching for a way to save humanity. She thinks there isn't a man she can trust, until she meets Kaden. ***** A plague has swept over the Earth, killing the majority of the population and every female. Except one. Ara witnessed the horror and destruction, but for the last three years she has survived. Now, desperation and hunger force her out of the mountains and onto a dangerous path; across the flooded downtown and through the gangs of survivors is hope. Ara's father spoke of a clue that could save not just her, but humanity. Then she is captured by a group of men. Despite the seeming kindness of Kaden, a young man her own age, Ara doesn't know if she can trust them. Then again, there's no way she can cross the plague-ridden city on her own. Men. Monsters. Is there a difference? This is the story of The Last She. (This book contains all of The Last She Series - Book 1: The Last She, Book 2: The Last City and Book 3: The Last Creation) [[word count: 250,000-300,000 words]]

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The Last She (Books 1-3, the Last She Series)

Ara, the only woman left alive after a plague, is searching for a way to save humanity. She thinks there isn't a man she can trust, until she meets Kaden. ***** A plague has swept over the Earth, killing the majority of the population and every female. Except one. Ara witnessed the horror and destruction, but for the last three years she has survived. Now, desperation and hunger force her out of the mountains and onto a dangerous path; across the flooded downtown and through the gangs of survivors is hope. Ara's father spoke of a clue that could save not just her, but humanity. Then she is captured by a group of men. Despite the seeming kindness of Kaden, a young man her own age, Ara doesn't know if she can trust them. Then again, there's no way she can cross the plague-ridden city on her own. Men. Monsters. Is there a difference? This is the story of The Last She. (This book contains all of The Last She Series - Book 1: The Last She, Book 2: The Last City and Book 3: The Last Creation) [[word count: 250,000-300,000 words]]