V.A.P.I's Brief Pleasure (boyxboy) - Swan - Wattpad

V.A.P.I's Brief Pleasure (boyxboy)

Reads 10,561
Votes 855
Parts 32
Time 6h 15m

Reads 10,561
Votes 855
Parts 32
Time 6h 15m

Mature

drugs hairyballs larrystylinson meaninglessness nefariouscorporateagendas oranges penises pinkribbon popsicles readerxalien shadycabals solipsism

Hello dear friends. I'm Doctor Josef R. Daneeka,  inventor of the Lips, Nips and Hips line of cosmetics and the Warsaw Skin-E diet pill, world renowned surgeon, generous lover of my wife, and friendly neighbor. 

This screed, this angry little book of lies, exists solely to discredit me, my family and my work. I have no doubt that my corporate enemies (Procter & Gamble, I'm looking at you) are behind this propaganda. I tell you now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: I have never spliced human DNA with extraterrestrial  DNA; I have never manufactured human clones; I am not an opiate addict, and I most certainly do not keep my wife locked up in my cellar with a rhesus monkey.

The (most likely invented) teenager protagonist herein, is a thief and a con artist who will play upon your sympathies in order to manipulate you. Moreover, his tale is nothing more than seedy, smut. While I, like any good citizen, cherish my gay comrades, the deviant author of this work wants  to infest your children's minds with his debaucherous story of teenaged gay sex and drug abuse. Abstinence, dear friends, is all that I preach. Abstinence, and a deep love for God.

Please, friends, avert your eyes.

Oh, and for you ladies out there. Can't seem to get rid of those pesky zits? Fear not. Krazy Koncealer can blitz those zits, lickety-split. Permanently! Available at any pharmacy near you!

Fantabulous cover art by : @Ferret-birdAll Rights Reserved

drugs hairyballs larrystylinson meaninglessness nefariouscorporateagendas oranges penises pinkribbon popsicles readerxalien shadycabals solipsism

Table of contents

32 parts

Sign up to add V.A.P.I's Brief Pleasure (boyxboy) to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Grimm Games by LLSanders

A young woman must compete in a deadly televised competition, Grimm Games, to ensure her twin sister survives. Season 1 of Grimm Games ***** When twenty-year-old social activist Kam Wendall discovers her name among the contestants of the deadly television competition Grimm Games, she's stunned to realize her estranged twin sister, Millie, has stolen her identity to compete. Determined to save her sister, Kam enters the contest. At a secret and isolated location, they compete against others through nightmarish sets, perilous escape rooms, and sinister puzzles, and must outsmart the sadistic Grimm entities stalking them. Amidst the twisted challenges, can Kam and Millie rebuild their fractured trust all while evading the diabolical forces at play? And would even that be enough to help them survive the Grimm Games and emerge victorious? *** "Oh, I understand." I didn't blink as I spoke. "But the only way I'm ever stepping foot inside your set is if you force me." "Our contestants are volunteers," Ms. Holle went on. "We've always run the games that way and forever will. We're not accustomed to forcing anyone to partake, and that opportunity will be extended to you too."

Between The Crystals by CrystalScherer

The aliens kill every human they catch, or in rare cases, put trackers on them to discover their hidden villages. When Natalie is caught in an ambush, she is unexpectedly released. But there is no tracker. The Saursunes have an entirely different motive this time. *** Run. Don't look back. When Natalie is trapped in an alien ambush, she is unexpectedly released. The first human to ever be let go. The Saursunes invaded centuries ago, and everyone knows that getting caught is certain death. Natalie is confused but grateful to be alive. As a porter, one of the few humans with the rare ability to teleport between special crystal formations, she must leave the safety of her desert village every day to help gather food. When other villages increase their raids on the Saursunes' farms, the aliens retaliate by hunting down every human they can find - except Natalie's group. Instead of trying to kill her and those helping her, they bring them food instead. Is it a trap? Or something else? Natalie isn't sure, but one thing is certain: the Saursunes aren't done with her yet. ------------ Updates are Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 11-1pm MST. The story is completed offline, so no worries about it being abandoned!

Prospect: Paradigm by thepaulbianchi

A young archeologist is launched on the adventure of her life when she joins a mixed crew of humans and aliens on a mission to atone for the failings of Earth. *** The Terra Prospect Mission offered humanity a chance at space travel, technological advancement, and enlightenment courtesy of its alien benefactors who made first contact thirty years ago. Daran Chree brought that mission to a fiery end when he crashed the Terra Prospect spaceship into Gate Delta Eleven. Now, it's humanity's second and final chance to prove they're ready to journey into the stars. Nineteen-year-old studying archeologist Sofeta Prenares finds herself not only drawn to the mission, but on a collision course with the fate of the galaxy. 2019 Watty Awards Winner For Sci-Fi! Content warning: This story contains reference to self harm and intense combat scenes.

The Virus Within: The Unranked (Book 4) by CrystalScherer

Season 4 of The Virus Within Trinity is familiar with zombies, being one herself, but when strange zombies start appearing, she realizes that the world she knew might be changing yet again. When a dangerous set of scientific notes are discovered, Trinity and her friends don't realize anything is wrong until a frantic radio call comes in. Unaware of the notes, they race to the south and struggle to determine where the strange zombies came from. The zombies are unlike any ranks previously seen, and they aren't as predictable. Some have new tricks hidden up sleeves, forcing any Stronghold they encounter to quickly adapt to the new challenge or risk being overrun. Secrets never remain hidden, and zombie apocalypses never make life easy.

True (Male x Male) (Wattys Winner 2021) by Evan_Binley

Kane has a 'sixth-sense' - he can tell whether someone is being honest or not. So why is he about to put his trust someone that he knows is lying? ***** Kane Emery operates a long haul transport ship and has an uncanny knack for being able to tell whether somebody is lying to him. When a young lady shows up on the planet Calenta asking for transport, Kane can sense that she isn't being completely honest. So why does he feel as though he should still help her anyway? As Kane becomes increasingly aware of the emotions of those around him, his dreams start getting more intense, and he unwittingly gets pulled into a chain of events that affects him in ways that he couldn't possibly have imagined. Wattys 2021 Winner Readers may like to know that there is some sporadic violence in this story, but I have endeavoured to ensure that any descriptions of brutality are not described in graphic detail. Highest Rankings: #1 in gayscifi #1 in gaylovestories #2 in freethelgbt #6 in gaylove #8 in scifi-romance #13 in wattpadoriginals #13 in lgbtfiction #15 in queer #20 in lgbtlove #27 in boyxboy #34 in gay #35 in wattpride #30 in writtenwithpride #38 in mxm #69 in crush

Human Untouched: Requiem of the State (Sequel to Human Untouched) by SydCarv

Terra, allied with the State, discovers her parents were executed as Rebels. Hunting whoever betrayed them, she goes to war with the State - and the Rebellion. ***** Terra left the Rebellion. She cut ties and devoted herself to the State, all to gain her freedom. But when she's released from prison, Terra discovers her parents were executed as rebels while she was inside. Someone framed them. Someone who knew her well. Determined to avenge her parents' death, Terra carves a swath through both the Rebellion and the State. She has to contact old friends, avoid the people trying to follow her, and stay one step ahead of her opponents within this conspiracy. The Angel of Death won't rest until she knows the truth... And kills whoever betrayed her. (Sequel to Human Untouched.) [[Word count: 350,000-400,000 words]]

Snow by jule009

After an apocalyptic event that thrusts the world into a new ice age, Calestia - a 17-year-old girl with a strong will - must learn to survive on a land infested with gangs, guns, and distrust. ***** Nobody knows what day it is anymore. Nobody knows the month, the day of the week...and the only way to tell time is by the slight change in the color of the sky from grey to black every twenty-four hours. If a day even is twenty-four hours anymore. The planet is dead. The people are dead. Snow falls down upon piles of bodies like the ash of a volcanic eruption. Except, the snow doesn't stop. It never does. It continues to fall and fall until you wonder if it is even possible for another flake to come down and land silently in your hair. But it does. They do. There are few survivors of what the remaining have started to call the end of the world. The Apocalypse. Few who are still brave or scared of death enough to face the torture that is living. I am one of those survivors. Book One of the Snow Series Highest ranking: #3 in Sci-Fi Watty's Shortlisted

The Last City (Wattpad Books Edition) by hjnelson

The Last City is now published as a Hardcover, and E-book with W by Wattpad Books! As a Wattpad reader, you can access the Wattpad Books Published Edition here upon purchase. ***** The highly anticipated sequel to The Last She, which Goodreads has included in its Most Anticipated Young Adult Novels of December 2021 Ara Is desperate to reunite with her father and put the events that happened in Boise behind her. Ara hopes to find sanctuary in The Last City, an almost-mythical place where the plague is non-existent and she can finally discover the truth about her family. Only once she arrives, the truth is stranger than fiction and Ara wonders if she's made a huge mistake . . . Kaden Will go anywhere and will do anything for Ara.. But he's tested to his limits in The Last City, where he is forced to join a dangerous expedition. Kaden soon finds himself separated from Ara and once again on the run for his life. Barely escaping alive, he needs to risk it all again to find Ara in The Last City . . . Sam Is left for dead but very much alive. In fact, he's rigged an electrical system and blasts some music, feeling almost normal for the first time since almost losing his life. He doesn't know where Kaden and Ara are, and when he meets a mysterious girl named E, they embark on an adventure that will bring all of their lives clashing together . . . All three must uncover the secrets of The Last City if they have any hope of getting out of this apocalypse alive. Set immediately after the events of The Last She, H.J. Nelson's The Last City is a gripping story of three people desperate to survive against all odds, and love is sometimes all that matters. Available in Hardcover and E-book.

Ardent by Alva_Eriksson

Reso haunts Captain Aliyn Flynn's dreams. On a dangerous mission to discover the star system's secrets, can she and the alluring Tyr find the key to the survival of the galaxy? ***** The galactic inhabitants of the Milky Way know the dangers of the Reso star system. Its gas giant, the planet Plenare, terrorizes any ship that dares to approach. After narrowly escaping with their lives, Captain Aliyn Flynn and her crew's impressive survival catches the eye of Earth's government officials, thrusting them into an unexpected and dangerous mission to discover Reso's secrets. Complicating matters further, the alluring and secretive Tyr Logan is assigned to Aliyn's crew as her executive officer. Despite their many differences, Tyr and Aliyn must come to terms with the deep connection they share to decipher an ancient secret--a secret that holds the key not only to the past but the continued survival of the galaxy they call home. [[Word count: 100,000-150,000 words]] Content warning: Violence Watty Winner 2017

The Famoux (Wattpad Books Edition) by famouxx

WATTPAD BOOKS EDITION. Fame can be deadly. Out of the wreckage of environmental collapse, the country of Delicatum emerged. Its most popular celebrities are the Famoux, uniquely beautiful stars of a reality TV show called the Fishbowl. In a world still recovering from catastrophe, they provide a 24/7 distraction. Sixteen-year-old Emilee Laurence is obsessed with the Famoux-they provide a refuge from her troubled home life and the bullies at school. When she receives an unimaginable offer to become a member herself, she takes it. Leaving behind everything she's ever known, Emilee enters a world of high glamour and even higher stakes. Because behind their perfect image lies an ugly truth-an anonymous stalker has been dictating the Famoux's every move, and being popular really is a matter of life or death.

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Grimm Games cover

Between The Crystals cover

Prospect: Paradigm cover

The Virus Within: The Unranked (Book 4) cover

True (Male x Male) (Wattys Winner 2021) cover

Human Untouched: Requiem of the State (Sequel to Human Untouched) cover

The Last City (Wattpad Books Edition) cover

The Famoux (Wattpad Books Edition) cover

Grimm Games

A young woman must compete in a deadly televised competition, Grimm Games, to ensure her twin sister survives. Season 1 of Grimm Games *** When twenty-year-old social activist Kam Wendall discovers her name among the contestants of the deadly television competition Grimm Games, she's stunned to realize her estranged twin sister, Millie, has stolen her identity to compete. Determined to save her sister, Kam enters the contest. At a secret and isolated location, they compete against others through nightmarish sets, perilous escape rooms, and sinister puzzles, and must outsmart the sadistic Grimm entities stalking them. Amidst the twisted challenges, can Kam and Millie rebuild their fractured trust all while evading the diabolical forces at play? And would even that be enough to help them survive the Grimm Games and emerge victorious? * "Oh, I understand." I didn't blink as I spoke. "But the only way I'm ever stepping foot inside your set is if you force me." "Our contestants are volunteers," Ms. Holle went on. "We've always run the games that way and forever will. We're not accustomed to forcing anyone to partake, and that opportunity will be extended to you too."