I Don't Date Stupid ✓ - CASS - Wattpad

I Don't Date Stupid ✓

Reads 15,167
Votes 841
Parts 42
Time 8h 20m

Reads 15,167
Votes 841
Parts 42
Time 8h 20m

"So, Juliet? Will you date me?" Jack asks.
  
"No, I don't date stupid," I flat out lie to his face.
  
"Come on, Kat, you wouldn't be dating stupid! You'd be fake dating stupid," he reasons with a grin.
  
Sure, because that's so much better.

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He calls her Juliet, she calls him Romeo - will this pair be the star-crossed lovers they're expected to be or will they have the tragic end Shakespeare destined for them?
  
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COMPLETED 08/05/2020

*Contains Strong Language
**Extended Summary Inside because I'm awful at descriptions please just take a chance and read it...
***PM me to request a bonus chapter with dedication xxxx
  
© All Rights Reserved - cryingcoffee 2020All Rights Reserved

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42 parts

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A Minor Offense by HopelessDreamer519

"Well, Ms. Ashley, nothing is wrong with you. You're as healthy as ever" I sighed with relief. "So, what happened then?" I asked the doctor. "When was your last menstrual cycle?" "Um over month ago I think, why?" I answered. Why would he ask that? "Your six weeks pregnant" the doctor said. What? Pregnant? Yeah okay, that's funny. "Very funny" "This is no joke, congratulations!" "W-what?" I stuttered. "No, please say your lying" "I'm afraid not" I looked over to Dylan who's eyes were wide and he just stared at me. His eyes moved from mine to my stomach. Oh no... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jessica Ashley: smart, funny, beautiful, 17 year old girl who has raised her three year old sister. Dylan Saunders: hot, sweet, 23 old guy who met Jessica at a bar. Jessica and Dylan meet at a bar and decide to go home together. They get hooked on one another, only to find out Dylan is Jessica's English teacher! Will the couple stay together, or will morals and school policy break them apart? Caution: Vulgar language will be used in this story!

Kyler Cross [COMPLETED] by bmv555

{COMPLETED} SPIN-OFF OF 'Stalker Girl'. CAN BE READ AS A STAND ALONE TOO. ....................................................................................... "Awww... How's Mrs. Cross? Still considered sending you off for adoption or leaving you in a farm?" "What?" "Oh, you know, I may have given her some brochures about adoption agencies and some farms, when we were in grade 1." "You were the one who sent them? I should have known. Who would be jealous of a perfect guy like me? My mom got the best deal." "Yeah yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night. How is she? She's so sweet. She sent me new dolls after someone..... had a weird urge to start a butchery, using my dolls, near the swing set." "Sovvyyyyy!" "Your baby voice won't get you anywhere, honey." "Ohhh, did someone call me honey? Baby, I'll be the honey to your pancakes." "Ew! No thank you! Oh, I have to go. The pizza guy is here and he's so cute and so swee-" "Oh... um... ok." *muffled* "Yes, I'm coming. Get out of my room before I sell you to Pervy Joe. I won't get much money, but at least I'll get rid of you, Caleb." *Chuckling* "Is Caleb your brother?" *laughing* "Yeah, he's so crazy but It's impossible not to love him." "Who's Pervy Joe?" "He's this guy on our street. He's such a weirdo. Caleb's kind of scared of him." *laughing* "Oh, poor little guy." *chuckling* "Yeah. I better go. Bye Kyler!" "See you tomorrow!" *BEEP BEEP* ----------------------------------------------------------------- Polar opposites She's the nerd. He's the bad boy. But they do have something in common... They hate each other. (9-OCT-2018 Previously known as COOKIE THIEVES AND CREAM CHEESE ) PUBLISHED AND COMPLETED -27/4/2018

Romeo & Juliet ✅ Completed✅ by Spotfy

"Listen, do you want to fuck or not?" He was getting irritated with the time I was wasting. "You," I poke a finger to his hard chest. "don't scare me. And yes, I want to fuck. So fuckin fuck me already." He rolled his eyes, but the small grin he had on, wasn't quick enough to miss. "I don't go slow. And I definitely don't do virgins." "Oh really? Because it seemed like a second ago you wanted me." I crossed my arms, displaying my flat, but somewhat puffed out chest. "Very cute, Ciliegia. Now get out." He waved me off, before turning back to his play boy magazine. "Why are you still here?" "You want to fuck, let's fuck. I'm not going anywhere." His eyes poured deep into mine, before flickering away. "You're going to be the death of me." ______________________________________ Juliet was your average goody two shoes. And Romeo was your average bad boy. But when one starts a prank, the other cant help but retaliate. She fell for him from the beginning, and knew there was no turning back, but when he takes things way too far, that even causes a tragic death of Juliet's loved one; he just wasn't worth it anymore. Will Juliet end up broken hearted like before? Or will Romeo realize what he's been missing all along?

The Art of Breaking Hearts ✓ by sadreadingchick

[Highest Rank; #3 in Humor 3/27/17] --- I was unable to keep myself from blushing. "I'm not his girlfriend." "Yet." Ryder and Benjamin said simultaneously. "Oh, so the conceitedness runs in the family?" I asked with a roll of my eyes. "I'm afraid so. Now, tell me more about yourself." "Well, I like playing soccer a lot. And if I were to choose between my books and human beings, then I choose books. Also, I think your brother is annoying and has too big of an ego. But wanna know something?" He nodded. I stopped the car at the traffic light and turned back to him. Leaning into his ear, I whispered loud enough for Ryder to hear, "I think I like him." --- The art of breaking hearts is an inscrutable, prepossessing, abstract art. Never ever will you go through with breaking someone's heart without having your own broken. And it would be very eccentric if one did not go through the process of having their own heart shattered into millions of pieces when trying to do the same to another. Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way. --- [extended description inside] Copyright ©2016 sadreadingchick All rights reserved.

His Nerd Next Door by HoneyJewelz

One thing, just one little thing Julie had to do to have a... Let's say decent... First day at her new school... Don't. Draw. Attention. First impressions mean everything. Just one little screw up and she knew that she would have to wish her junior year goodbye. So she decided to stick to this one grand rule that would ultimately determine her social life, reputation, and mentality. Survive through highschool. How hard can it be right? ... WRONG!!!! She was reading in her room when she just decided to take one... Little... HARMLESS glance outside of her new bedroom window. But all of a sudden... BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There stood a half naked, greek god bad boy right before her very own eyes!! So you may ask, what do you do in a situation like this? SIMPLE. You squat down in the middle of your bedroom floor... Because that's obviously not embarrassing... And start doing ninja rolls from one side of the room to the window curtains going COMPLETELY UNNOTICED. Well... That is until you bang your head against the wall after doing a total of SIX slightly slanted ninja rolls right in front of your friendly... Still without clothes... Abs are present... Somewhat very sexy... Abs are still present... Okay really good looking... ABS I REPEAT ABS ON SHOW... Hot, sexy, and did I mention ab-delicious Neighbor Or to be more specific... Ashton Rider. Say goodbye to an unnoticed school year, and hello to the bad boy's world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Book one in the T.B.B.B. (The Bad Boy Boxer) Series WARNING: Lots of typing mistakes!!! Read at your own risk!! Editing will be taken place when I find motivation!!! (Heh... about that....)

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me by YYeung128

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest ~~~~ "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. ~~~~ Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. ~~~~ Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."

The Backpacker's Dream by CanisMajoris5

'No, he didn't'. I was so shocked by the turn of events. Everything was going fine and then suddenly boom, everything turned upside down. I just couldn't believe this. What did he think of himself? 'Leave me alone.' I said firmly but his hold on me was so strong. I was struggling to get out of his bear hold but to no avail. 'Oh!! So, the poor lady thinks that I will leave her alone and just let her go free?' He had that evil laugh and boy, his breath stank. 'Man, you just signed your death warrant and I will do one favour on you.' No one messes with me. 'Ooooh, I am so scared that I almost peed my pants.' Again that idiotic laugh. I counted till 5 and then kicked right in his balls. I turned around and grabbed his hair from roots, jerked them so badly and then gave my hard elbow shot on his chin. Everything happened so fast for one moment he was standing and the other lying on floor wiggling. I charged at him with my cheetah speed, picked up a wooden rod and started hitting him wildly, 'You idiotic stinky breath was trying to steal my backpack. You are so dead.' 'Favour, favour, favour.' He was screaming in pain just after few seconds and was panting hard. I picked my paste from my bag and threw at him, 'Brush your teeth.' I was fuming. I turned around and saw him standing wide-eyed, 'Hi, I am Scarlett.' I smiled showing my 32 teeth. 'I am scared.' His look puzzled me. Starting date- November 5, 2019 Completed on - May 23, 2020 All Rights Reserved.

Pure Hate by ineslepeuch

What would you do if your boyfriend broke up with you for someone else? Even worse. She is that girl. Popular, shallow and horribly perfect. The one who makes all of your insecurities stand out. So I decided to hit him harder. The only thing that would piss him off more than seeing me with another guy would be seeing me with this guy. Because no one likes it when the enemy takes away something that used to be ours, not even when we left it behind as if it wasn't worth a penny. He hates him and it would be the perfect revenge. It really would if I didn't hate him even more. Growing up with the person you hate most in the world just because he's your brother's best friend is hard enough. Then imagine asking him to fake date you in order to make another guy jealous... Hopeless, huh? Well, consider me a hopeless cause because now, is the time for my revenge. 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 This story contains mature themes and inappropriate language, not suitable for all audiences. For a full list of TWs, please go at the beginning of the book, under "author's note". Reader discretion is advised. 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 Status: Ongoing (NOT EDITED) New chapter on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays & Sundays.

Don't Take It Personal by yourdaddydearest

"I still never said it. And besides that, you're not listing the basics of the relationship. We need rules and agreements. When is it over?" "We'll have a deal," I told her. "You commit wholeheartedly to us being in a fake relationship, and I'll continue to tutor you." "That's great," She said impassively. "But when does this end?" She looked between us. "When I'm sitting at a hundred, or when you win your girlfriend back?" "I'm not necessarily saying I want her back," I said. "We're just doing this for the fun of it. I can't really put a timing on it." She was quiet a moment before impulsively agreeing. "Fine," She gave a shrug. "Although, I will have to say, I feel bad for you." "Why do you feel bad for me?" "I can't be your Juliet."

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Slide 1 of 9

A Minor Offense cover

Kyler Cross [COMPLETED] cover

Romeo & Juliet ✅ Completed✅ cover

The Art of Breaking Hearts ✓ cover

His Nerd Next Door cover

The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me cover

The Backpacker's Dream cover

Pure Hate cover

Don't Take It Personal cover

A Minor Offense

"Well, Ms. Ashley, nothing is wrong with you. You're as healthy as ever" I sighed with relief. "So, what happened then?" I asked the doctor. "When was your last menstrual cycle?" "Um over month ago I think, why?" I answered. Why would he ask that? "Your six weeks pregnant" the doctor said. What? Pregnant? Yeah okay, that's funny. "Very funny" "This is no joke, congratulations!" "W-what?" I stuttered. "No, please say your lying" "I'm afraid not" I looked over to Dylan who's eyes were wide and he just stared at me. His eyes moved from mine to my stomach. Oh no... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jessica Ashley: smart, funny, beautiful, 17 year old girl who has raised her three year old sister. Dylan Saunders: hot, sweet, 23 old guy who met Jessica at a bar. Jessica and Dylan meet at a bar and decide to go home together. They get hooked on one another, only to find out Dylan is Jessica's English teacher! Will the couple stay together, or will morals and school policy break them apart? Caution: Vulgar language will be used in this story!