The Perks of Being Yourself

Who knew being yourself could lead to so many opportunities. Unless you're me and have no life at all. Although now that I think about it, there are perks to being a nobody. The only thing you have to look good for is that lovely 4am coffee, because that's a smart thing to drink when you have insomnia, where you rethink all your life decisions and wonder why the hell you ever thought that digging a hole to China was a good idea. Anyway, I'm getting off topic.
My name is Ashley. I hate it.
I'm such a positive person. I know.
I hope the sarcasm smothers you. Just kidding, I want you alive.
Again, getting off topic.
Like I said before, my name is Ashley. Just call me Ash. Or Elsa. Or that weird bitch that no one gives a rats ass about. Doesn't bother me any.
This is technically a blog, rant, thingy. And yes, that's a technical term.
I'm a nobody but I'm also an everybody.
I hope that confused you.
It confuses me and I wrote it.
Anyway, welcome. Hi. Hello. How are you?
If you answered the "how are you" get out.
Just kidding.
I probably would've answered it too.
Anyway, welcome to my not so fabulous book about everything, but mainly nothing.
Maybe you can figure out the perks to being yourself.
You see what I did there.
Do you?
Okay. I'm done.